A World in a Grain of Sand
by Keiran
Summary: FINISHED. The great general, Heero Yuy, acquires a slave, and loses him, all within one year. Five years later, chance throws them back together, circumstances not included. 1x2x1 overall.
1. Prologue

The idea popped into my head after reading some of the prince Heero gets/buys/catches a little slave, whom he decides to keep because of his looks/stubbornness/fieriness. The slave naturally falls in love soon. Hey, why should he fall in love right away. ^_^ Let's see what would happen if he hadn't.

Author: Keiran 

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand (prologue)

Pairings: 1+2, minor 4x5x4 and odd het pairing (that's a surprise ^_^)

Rating: … I always have a problem with that. Maybe PG-13, for the mental pictures.

Genre: Another tough one. There'll be romance, mild angst, now it's just historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Medieval medical help.

Archive: my site, which you will find at my author page, if you want it, drop me a line. ^_^

***

The mission had been long and difficult. Not many soldiers emerged unscathed. Yet it could have been counted as a success since only few had lost their lives.  
  
"There's a temple not far from here. It's said to have the best healers the land can offer," said the king's general, Chang Wufei. He was one of the precious few who managed to remain unharmed. He looked at his lover questioningly when he heard a soft sigh.   
  
"I hope so," Quatre Raberba Winner whispered. Heero was fine. Physically, the wound was nothing more than a deep and considerably nasty graze. He dealt with far worse previously, untreated. He didn't even lose his consciousness.   
  
But it was obvious that he didn't have any will to fight for **his** life. He'd just protected the great general.  
  
"Do not worry."  
  
"I'm afraid all the healers in the world won't be enough."   
  
"Quatre, do not worry. He will be fine," another of the generals remarked, smiling slightly.  
  
"Easy for you to talk. Dorothy would have had our heads on a silver plate if you were brought back home with a scratch, Barton." Wufei remarked smirking slightly. Oh yes, lady Dorothy was indeed a dangerous individual. She put a sword through poor Quatre when he tried to woo Trowa some time ago. Which in turn led to hers and Trowa's engagement. This forced lord Chang Wufei to return home, after ten years of living with his parents as an ambassador of Sanq. He couldn't have missed his childhood friend, Trowa, being betrothed to someone other than his sword. Accidentally, he found a mate in Quatre, who had first arrived in the kingdom shortly after his departure.   
  
But Heero Yuy was another matter altogether. The son of a great general, in the times of peace he traveled from one country to another, eventually becoming a great general himself after his father's death. He had very few close friends, among whom were Wufei, Trowa, Quatre and King Milliardo. And one princess, waiting for him to propose.  
  
"Were you discussing me again?" the general's nasal voice interrupted the conversation.  
  
"Heero! You shouldn't ride!"  
  
"Hn. I'm all right."  
  
"It doesn't matter now." Wufei took hold of Quatre's hand. "We're here." He pointed to the white building shining among the green trees. There was lots of movement in front of the temple – the generals and the advisor were following their army, since none of them required immediate medical attention and Heero refused to hurry. Gravely injured soldiers were taken inside to master healers, those less hurt waited for their turn while the other healers and novices worked on the lighter wounds.  
  
But there was a commotion around one of the commandants and his injured friend. Wufei scowled when he noticed one of the healers being backhanded.  
  
"What is the problem?" he asked the soldier advancing, followed by his friends.  
  
"The healer refuses to treat Mueller's wounds," the man replied.   
  
Wufei rose a brow. A healer, refusing to help?  
  
"It is not true, general."   
  
Heero started. The voice was hauntingly familiar. He snapped his head around to see two bright violet eyes beneath a white hood.   
  
"This man's wound isn't serious so…"  
  
"Can't you see how much he bleeds?!" The other man grabbed the healer's robe. Once white, now it was smeared with blood and dirt.  
  
"Alex!" Wufei commanded sharply.  
  
"But sir!"  
  
"Back off!"   
  
The man obeyed reluctantly.  
  
"All scalp wounds bleed profusely. It is not serious. I called a novice to take care of it."   
  
A young girl approached, carrying a tray with water and herbs on it. "Now, if you please excuse me, there are others I need to tend to."  
  
"Wait. Our friend is hurt, could you take a look at him?" Quatre asked softly. The man hesitated, as if he didn't want to spend another minute in their presence.   
  
"Alright. But if the wound isn't serious, he'll wait for Hilde to finish."  
  
"If you assess the wound as light." Trowa helped Heero to get off the horse. The young healer skillfully undid the make-shift bandages on the man's shoulder. He gently prodded the flesh, what resulted in a sharp intake of breath.  
  
"It is infected. Hilde! If you're finished, I need hot water and fresh linen."  
  
"It will take a minute Duo, there are lots of people in need of a dressing."  
  
"Just water than." Duo frowned. The gash didn't look good. It ran from the shoulder down to shoulder blade and didn't show any signs of curing. "The blade must have been poisoned. It is not good." He reached into his bag and took out a bottle with some sort of a potion.   
  
Hilde returned with a small cauldron filled with boiling water.  
  
"Light a fire, general, I will need the water hot." Duo commanded the other soldiers. The girl set the pot on the ground and went to help others. Duo uncorked the little bottle and poured some of the contents into the cauldron. Then he removed some leaves from his bag and handed them to Heero. "Eat them. They'll make you numb."  
  
"I don't want to."  
  
"I need to cut out the infected flesh. There is no other way."  
  
"Then do it."  
  
"It will be very painful."  
  
"I can deal with that..." Heero took the healer's hand in his and looked straight into the violet eyes of his presumably dead ex-slave. "…Kirei." [1]  
  
He heard surprised gasps from Trowa, Wufei and Quatre. They didn't recognize him. But they didn't know him like he did. They didn't spend their days roaming his slender body with their lips or watching him unaware.   
  
The young man looked him straight in the eye with surprising calmness. "I didn't think you'd still bother to remember me. And please do not call me that. I am nobody's possession.  
  
"Now, if you're really sure about those herbs…" at Heero's nod he took the sharp knife out of the cauldron. "Then your friends might want to hold you down."  
  
Heero clenched his teeth as Duo set to work. Soon Hilde arrived carrying a load of fresh linen. The great general was pale and sweating, but he still refused taking any pain-numbing herbs.   
  
If the pain was what he needed to make Kirei, or perhaps Duo, touch him voluntarily, then be it.

***TBC***

  
[1] 'kirei' means beautiful in Japanese.


	2. Memories

Author: Keiran 

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 1/?

Pairings: 1+2, minor 4x5x4 and odd het pairing (that's a surprise ^_^)

Rating: It probably doesn't deserve an R, but let it be so. Just to be safe and all.

Genre: There'll be romance, mild angst, now it's just historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Medieval medical help. This part contains mostly dream sequences, which can be confusing. Also there is an implied NCS, but it probably doesn't deserve the warning. Mild bastardisation of the pilots minus Duo.  

Archive: my site, which you will find at my author page, if you want it, drop me a line. ^_^ 

The author needs to get a good line to express her thanks to Sundaire, for putting up with her creepy use of commas and other mishaps. The author is very happy to have such a good beta. beams

***

Heero gave up eventually and passed out. Duo barely spared him a glance, too busy treating the gash. He was almost finished by that time anyway.  
  
"Do you have a camp? He'd need to stay in bed for a while and the temple is full."  
  
"Is there something wrong?"  
  
"Other than an inch deep slash across his back? Yes, I'd say so. I think the blade was poisoned, and it is in his bloodstream already. I'll give you the antidote, but he needs to lie in bed and drink it. He will probably have a fever too."  
  
"Will you come to see him?" Quatre asked softly.  
  
"There is no need to," the young healer replied coolly putting his implements back into the bag.   
  
"He'd want to see you," Trowa said coldly.  
  
"I do not owe him anything. There is no need for my presence, therefore I will not come."  
  
"He owns you!" Trowa yelled. Wufei and Quatre glanced at him shocked.  
  
"No, he does not." Duo got up. "Nor are we under your laws. If he tries to touch me, I will not hesitate to protect myself." He looked dispassionately at the prone body lying on the ground. "Wrap him in something warm, dissolve the concoction in hot water, one spoon for a cup and make him drink it every three or four hours." He handed Quatre the small bottle he had used earlier. "It'll be best if he drinks it warm. Now excuse me, please."  
  
***  
  
Heero dreamed. Or perhaps 'remembered'.   
  
Six years earlier, as he was returning from the campaign against barbarians from the east, he found a present from lord Quatre in his bedroom. A lovely young boy, who couldn't have been more than sixteen, while he himself was barely twenty-five.   
  
Keeping slaves was not uncommon in Sanq, but although they were seen only as a property of their masters, treating them will ill intention was heavily frowned upon. It was rare to find more then a few slaves in a household, the majority of them being pleasure slaves for young, unmarried men. Even rarer was to find a slave who **wasn't** content with his or her life. Having to please one master, who was sworn to protect them from any harm, treat them with care and respect, was definitely better then bedding a complete stranger, who could slit their throat in the morning. Even as they grew old, they were guaranteed a place in the house until they died, and when they did, they were buried as the Goddess had commanded for any other.  
  
Heero could clearly remember the shock of walking into his chambers and seeing the boy for the first time. He was dressed in a thin, purple, silk gown, common attire for bed-slaves. His long hair had been woven into a thick braid, decorated only with a single ribbon.  
  
His head rested on his shackled wrists, his eyes were closed. He was asleep.  
  
He remembered the surprise of seeing those violet eyes for the first time, glaring at him, as the child demanded to be set free. He didn't listen. He had kissed him then instead.   
  
There was no deep emotion in that kiss. There was only lust. Heero could vaguely remember feeling grateful for telling Quatre once what he enjoyed in his slaves. He liked them fiery, and this one was. The child fought against him, with all of his strength, but Heero was stronger, older and more experienced. He used the boy's own body against his will, making him cry out in pleasure. He smirked to himself when the elfin boy passed out from exhaustion. He didn't stand a chance. Even if he didn't want to be Heero's pleasure slave, his young body demanded release. And Heero didn't mind being on the active side in the least. That smirk stayed with him when he fell asleep.  
  
The general could also remember waking up in the middle of the night to find his new bed mate sitting on the floor, still bound to the bed, shaking with silent sobs. Heero watched him for a short while and decided to let him cry. The little elf would have to get used to sleeping with him, whether he liked it or not.  
  
He never did. Each and every time he fought as fiercely as the first.  
  
It became one of Heero's favorite pastimes, to watch him when he didn't know he was being watched. After a month he was certain that the boy hadn't originated from Sanq. There was a slight foreign accent to his words, even if he hid it well.   
  
Heero would have known for sure, if he had known his name, but every time he asked the child either ignored him or gave an answer of the 'not my place to say, not your place to know' kind. Since he had to have a name, for lack of one created a problem, in bed scenes, for one, Heero resolved to call him Kirei – which meant beautiful in his native language.  
  
The decision caused some surprise also, Heero could swear Kirei understood what he was called. He never managed to confirm it though.   
  
All of that said rather firmly that he wasn't born a slave either. He could read, he knew history, philosophy, math and physics (it took time for Heero to discover just how well-educated Kirei was), which slaves are taught somewhat in order to entertain their masters in conversation, but no slave was skilled in all of the fields.   
  
Days passed and Heero found himself more and more enraptured with his beautiful bed mate. He in turn seemed to accept his fate, at some level at least. He didn't cry anymore at night, and he started to communicate a little. Of course he didn't care at all what Heero did or said (including the times when he was forced into his bed), and he regarded Quatre with cold indifference. Among Heero's closest friends the only one he treated with some respect was Wufei.  
  
Eventually, the great general found out that he could not bear the thought of spending months away from Kirei. Since his post required traveling, not only into battles, he started to include the boy in his journeys. Trowa usually hauled his wife along with him too. Dorothy, strangely, took an immediate liking to Kirei. Even more strange, the feeling seemed to be reciprocated. If you could call their bickering that. But the truth remained that Dorothy was the only person who managed to make him smile. Yet no one managed to make him laugh.  
  
Both irritated Heero to no end.   
  
But, all that has a beginning, also has its end.   
  
Kirei has always loved the sea. If the camp was set near the sea, he got up every morning to watch it and nothing his master said could prevent it. One day, roughly one year after Kirei was found, on the way back to the capital the camp was set near an edge of a cliff – not too close, but close enough to prevent unwanted visitors from that direction. Heero was usually waking up as soon as Kirei left his arms, and this time was no different. He waited while Kirei dressed himself and went outside, then he followed him.   
  
The sun has barely risen, so everybody were still sleeping. The long-haired boy walked to the edge and sat down watching the waves crashing on the rocks below. Heero watched him, smiling gently, until other people started to emerge from their tents.   
  
Heero remembered calling his name softly.  
  
He remembered suddenly how wet the grass was, and the violent storm that took place during the night.   
  
And that the edge Kirei was sitting on protruded about two meters away from the cliff.   
  
Heero remembered someone screaming when the piece of ground broke away and fell, taking his Kirei with it.   
  
He could never forget, even after having seen it only from the distance, the strangely peaceful look on the boy's face when he realized he was going to fall. Even if there was fear in his eyes too.

**TBC**  
  



	3. A Right

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 2/?

Pairings: 1+2, minor 4x5x4 and 3xD (don't ask .)

Rating: It probably doesn't deserve an R, but let it be so. Just to be safe and all.

Genre: There'll be romance, mild angst, now it's just historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Mild bastardisation of the pilots minus Duo. Okay, in this chapter it isn't so mild. Not a happy part. shakes had

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^

************

Heero woke up screaming. Quatre ran to him immediately, attempting to soothe, but the general brushed him off. He jumped from his bed and started to dress instead.  
  
"Heero! The healer said you should lie down for a while!"  
  
"I'm going to him."  
  
"He… doesn't… I mean we told him to come and see you, but he refused…"   
  
Heero paused. Something undefined flashed through his eyes.  
  
"Which is why I'm going to see him," the general answered with a note of finality in his voice and finished putting his clothes on.  
  
***  
  
Two days had passed since the Sanq army came to the temple of the Goddess. Most of the soldiers had already left, leaving behind only those who were not yet fit to travel. They and those who decided to remain behind were living in tents scattered across the valley, in which the temple was located.  
  
Heero marched briskly through the field. Quatre managed only to withhold him long enough to make him drink the potion Kirei had left. As Heero walked, he noticed a girl exiting one of the tents, carrying dirty linens and herbs. He remembered her – it was the girl Kirei had addressed when treating his wound.   
  
"Wait!" he commanded. The girl – Hilde – stopped and looked at him curiously.  
  
"What ails you, my lord?"  
  
"Where's Kirei?"   
  
Hilde blinked surprised.  
  
"I beg your pardon, who are you seeking?"  
  
"Ki… The healer, who was dressing my wound," Heero caught himself. He remembered that Kirei had a different name now.  
  
"Oh, you mean Duo? His name is Duo Maxwell, my lord. He is now looking after the children, he ought to be in the inner gardens." Quatre, having alarmed Wufei and Trowa, caught up to Heero. "Should I call him?"   
  
"No, thank you."   
  
The girl curtsied and left, leaving four men looking at each other. Or rather, three men looking at the fourth and the fourth staring intently at the temple, towards the mentioned gardens.   
  
"I'm going there," Heero announced, disregarding the beads of sweat flowing down his face. His injury hadn't healed yet.  
  
"Wait!" Quatre yelled and followed, accompanied by the others. They entered the outer circle of the temple, listening for the sounds of children playing. There weren't any, but they could hear a soft, male voice speaking. Heero seemed to be certain that the voice belonged to his Kirei. He was right – the four nobles walked into a section of the gardens shaped like a forest clearing, where a group of about twenty children sat paying attention to whatever the young healer was reading to them.  
  
"Ever be sure of that — and I,  
And one extremely tiny bird,  
Tándaradéi,   
Who will, I think, not say a word," Duo ended softly.   
  
"Do you know the original version?" one of the children asked.  
  
"Yes." The healer closed his eyes and started to recite.  
  
"Under der linden  
an der heide,  
dâ unser zweier bette was,  
dâ muget ir vinden  
schône beide  
gebrochen bluomen unde gras.  
Vor dem walde in einem tal,  
tandaradei,  
schône sanc diu nahtegal.  
  
"That was the first stanza." Duo paused and smiled at the children. His smile, however, vanished when he noticed four men watching him intently. "Now you may go and play outside."   
  
The group got up and bowed respectfully to their teacher, the youngest running forward to hug him briefly before following the other children out of the garden.  
  
"Is your shoulder better, general?" he asked curtly.  
  
"Kirei…"  
  
"My name is not Kirei. Is there a problem with your shoulder?"   
  
"No, it heals fine," Heero replied.  
  
"I'm glad to hear it," he said, although the healer didn't really sound concerned. "You shouldn't be straining it – it would be better if you sleep more the next few days."  
  
"I will go to sleep, once you're with me."  
  
"Then I hope someone taught you how to live without sleeping. Excuse me," Duo said rather coolly. Heero felt something he didn't know up until then: what it meant to be rejected.   
  
Of course, Duo had never been jumping willingly into his arms, but he had never had a choice before. Slaves didn't have free will. But this… now he held no claim over the young man. Even if he proved that this person had indeed been his property once, he was now a healer.  
  
Healers were untouchable.   
  
The reasoning barely registered in Heero's mind – all he knew was that he wanted his Kirei back, and that he wanted him now. It was his right, Kirei belonged to him, only to him.   
  
With that thought ebbed firmly in his mind he caught the slender wrist and pulled the struggling man close.  
  
"You're mine," he whispered. "You belong to me, do you understand?"  
  
Duo flinched, feeling the general's breath blowing lightly into his ear. He was afraid, but he didn't panic. He was outnumbered, but he was a healer. No noble would dare to force himself on a healer, he hoped.  
  
His hopes were quenched, however, when the taller man started to kiss him passionately. Duo's eyes went wide with fury. He drew his fist back and punched the general's stomach.   
  
Heero doubled over in pain, however, Duo paid him no heed. He stepped back and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.  
  
"I told you not to touch me," he said, his voice wavering slightly. "I am not your property."  
  
The general's friends glared at the young man. Healer or not, he was not allowed to hit his former master. Wufei stepped forward quickly and gripped Duo's arms tightly, forcing him to his knees.  
  
"Give me your scarf, Quatre," Wufei commanded tightly.  
  
"You can't do that!" the violet-eyed man exclaimed.  
  
"Watch me."   
  
Quatre meanwhile took off his scarf and proceeded to bind the slender wrists of the healer.   
  
Tears started to form in Duo's eyes. It wasn't right, he was supposed to be safe here, in the temple. They weren't supposed to come. They shouldn't be allowed to hurt him. Why was it happening? He didn't want to be a slave again.  
  
"Let him go."   
  
The men started. Standing behind them was an old priest, one they recognized as a master healer.  
  
"It is a personal matter, master," Trowa told the man. "It is of no concern to you, nor the temple."  
  
"Let him go. No matter what you have against him, the boy is a healer. You are not allowed to harm him, in any way," the priest told them firmly.   
  
Heero was somehow relieved to see that his Kirei had stopped shaking, but at the same time he couldn't help feeling hurt when he saw relief in those violet eyes.   
  
'Well,' he thought to himself, 'another five years worth of nightmares'.  
  
Albeit reluctantly, the other nobles released their captive. Duo all but ran to his savior, passing him and going into the inner circle of the temple.  
  
"You will leave tonight," the master continued. "I can see you are hurt, general, but I don't think that your wound would hinder your departure."  
  
"Master, that man is a slave. He belongs to the general. We have the right to take him back." Quatre straightened proudly, trying to intimidate the elderly priest.  
  
"Duo is not a slave. He might have been enslaved, but he is not a slave. And even if he was, he now is a healer," the priest answered calmly. Heero wasn't really surprised. He had heard Duo talking, he had seen him reading various things. He slowly hauled himself to his feet, clutching his stomach.  
  
"We will leave," he said with authority. His friends turned their surprised faces to him. "But you will promise me something," Heero added to the old man.  
  
"It depends," the man responded, sceptically.  
  
"I want to be informed should anything happen to Ki… Duo."   
  
The priest arched a brow.  
  
"And I should oblige, because?"  
  
"No reason. I just want to know that he's safe."  
  
"If an occasion arises to send a message, you will be informed. He is quite safe here," the man replied, turning around and following Duo into the temple, while the four nobles made their way out.

**TBC**  
Review? 


	4. Things that cannot be helped

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 3/?

Pairings: 1+2, minor 4x5x4 and 3xD (don't ask .)

Rating: It probably doesn't deserve an R, but let it be so. Just to be safe and all.

Genre: There'll be romance, mild angst, now it's just historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Mild bastardisation of the pilots minus Duo. 

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^

This fic has been betaed by Sundaire. ^_^ beams

*****

Duo sat on a windowsill, watching a garden pond below. His knees were drawn to his chest so that his chin could rest on them. There was no smile on his face when the master healer found him. However, the first question Duo had expected to be asked didn't come.  
  
"Do you hate him?"   
  
Bright eyes went wide.  
  
"Ex… excuse me?" the youth stuttered.  
  
"Do you hate that man? The general?" the old man inquired gently.  
  
"I should." Duo closed his eyes. "I know it's wrong, but I **know** I should despise him. He had me enslaved, he had used me, he was disrespectful… but I can't. I don't know why. I tried to."  
  
"Do you like him?"  
  
"No! I mean… I know why I don't hate him. He had always been physically good to me. I mean he never beat me, made sure I had plenty of food, even when he was…" a dark blush colored his cheeks. His lips moved, but no sound escaped them. The priest seemed to understand what it meant for the young man and nodded his understanding. "He had been almost gentle. It's enough not to hate him for forcing me, but it's not enough for me to like him."  
  
"You never actually told me how you ended up as anybody's slave."   
  
"I…" Duo hung his head. "I'm an orphan. My parents were Lord and Lady Maxwell, of Albion [1] – hence the accent when I speak Sanq – but they died when I was four. My brother, who was eighteen then, took me to the East, to one of my family's friends. Since Solo was groomed to be the Lord, I figured I could do whatever I wanted. I didn't want to be scholar or anything, but I was reading and learning a lot. In between fun, of course. My caretaker was a master healer himself, and I followed him a lot as a child.   
  
"But then he died, six years ago. So I went back to Albion, to Solo. He had married in the meantime, had a child. His wife wasn't overly fond of me… she said I made Solo sad, that I reminded him of our parents. So I left. I went traveling, and I can't even remember were I was when I learned that Solo had been killed. I went back to his funeral, but I didn't stay.   
  
"Then… quite typically, there was a gale, and the ship I was traveling on was destroyed. Some of the crew had survived… and they decided that they might make enough money for a new ship if they sold me. I was wounded, but not gravely, and I only learned about their plans after lord Winner had come to take me away.   
  
"I didn't say anything before we left those men, but as soon as we were alone I told Winner that I was no slave, and that I would give him back the money he spent on me if he helped me to get to Albion. I was the official Lord after Solo's death. Of course, there was also his child, but as I said, his wife was really a good woman… She just didn't want to see Solo sad." Duo paused taking a deep breath.  
  
"He didn't listen. He told me I was a present for his friend." Duo's voice shook. "He brought me to Sanq, had me bathed and dressed up and… gave me to the general, as if I was an **object** to be given. I spent a year there," he added in the softest of whispers.  
  
"I understand. Do not worry. You didn't do anything wrong. There's one thing that bothers me though. You said you are a noble, right?" At the youth's reluctant nod, the priest continued. "Most of the nobles I heard of in such a situation would choose to kill themselves. And you said you were raised in the East…"   
  
Duo gazed at the floor.  
  
"I had promised my father I wouldn't ever kill myself. Both my brother and I promised, but of course I was too young too understand it back then. See, my mother had committed suicide, after she was… hurt." Large expressive eyes watched the priest willing him to understand. "After she died, my father was devastated. He died only two weeks later. Some accident during a hunt. Before he did, he made us both promise that we wouldn't kill ourselves over things that cannot be helped."   
  
The master healer rose a brow.  
  
"I've been thinking about it, the whole time. That's exactly what he had said then, 'over things that cannot be helped.' I suppose he meant things that had already happened. But… the truth is that I was afraid. And I didn't want to die." There was shame in his young voice. The old man regarded him fondly before he walked over and sat next to his charge, putting his arm around the young one's shoulders.  
  
"That's what a healer should say, child. You did the right thing. There is no shame in wanting to live." The long-haired man shivered slightly.  
  
"I know that… and then I don't. I wanted to… Goddess, I wanted it to end. It was so humiliating… But I couldn't do it. Same as I couldn't kill the general. I mean, I know how to fight, I've been raised a noble after all. But I cannot kill. It just…scares me. I thought about it. I imagined how could I kill him, but... I knew what I was going to see. And it scared me.  
  
"And of course as nice to slaves as the Sanq people are, I doubted they would've let one go after killing their great general. Does that make me a coward?"  
  
"I don't know. Nobody can answer it now. But you are here now, and you are alive. That matters. As you said, 'no use killing yourself over something that cannot be helped.'"   
  
Duo was silent for a while.  
  
"He started to drag me with him to all of his journeys. One would think there was a serious slave shortage in Sanq, he barely let me out of his sight. I love the sea, have I ever told you that? Solo's palace was near the sea, I could see it from my window. I could spend hours watching it.   
  
"I was doing that every morning when they set camp near the sea. I would get up early, sit and watch. One day I was sitting at the edge of a cliff – it was a morning after a particularly strong storm. Well… the bit I was sitting on broke off and fell… I thought that it was some sort of a sign, that I should have killed myself.   
  
"I was really lucky, it turned out. There weren't any rocks, and the water was pretty deep, that one spot only. Everywhere else, there were sharp rocks and a shallow bottom. I suppose that's why no one ever searched for me. I can't remember what happened exactly, but I suppose some fisherman had managed to pull me out of the water. I woke up a couple of days later in some village. By some miracle, they didn't think they could make a mint by selling me or opening a brothel with me as a main attraction. I stayed with them for a while, then I left. They were kind enough to direct me here."  
  
"I'm glad they did."  
  
"The general has left, hasn't he?" Duo asked, his voice trembling slightly.  
  
"Yes. Either that, or he's leaving now." The priest didn't tell Duo about the promise he was asked to make. Nor did he mention the fact that the general might have left, but the look in his eyes said that there was something precious he left in the temple. Something he will miss.  
  
Something he will want to come back for, soon.

[1] Albion is an ancient name for Britain. The closest thing I could do to make Duo an American. Or at least give him a foreign accent, since I think that Sanq is somewhere south, like Spain or France.

***TBC***


	5. A Challenge

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 4/?

Pairings: 1+2, minor 4x5x4 and 3xD (don't ask .) really mild R+1 (doesn't last at all)

Rating: It probably doesn't deserve an R, but let it be so. Just to be safe and all.

Genre: There'll be romance, mild angst, now it's just historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Mild bastardisation of the pilots minus Duo. Smart and nice Relena.

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^

This fic has been betaed by Sundaire. ^_^ beams

****

Ever since the return from the temple, the great general had been rather moody and distant. The changes weren't too great to people he usually stayed away from (which basically meant everyone), but to the precious few whom he befriended the difference was monumental.  
  
"Heero! That has to end!" Lord Quatre Raberba Winner was losing his legendary patience. The man, however, paid him no heed and continued staring out the window.  
  
"Please, Heero. Is it still about that boy?" The general refused to answer. "You can't do this to yourself over a **slave**."  
  
"The master healer said he was no slave."  
  
"He was a slave to you," Quatre reminded. "You didn't seem to mind when he was warming your bed. Besides, what about that boy that Trowa and Dorothy found for you? He was pretty. Wasn't he enjoyable as well?"   
  
Heero didn't answer. A few useless questions later, the blonde man gave up and left.   
  
Coincidentally, he met the mentioned boy in the hall a couple of doors away from Heero's quarters.   
  
"No my lord. I do not serve lord Heero anymore. His lordship said I'm not needed, and I am a servant of his highness now," he said in response to the diplomat's careful query. Quatre felt helpless.  
  
Heero sat on a windowsill, thinking. It wasn't right, was it? That child was a slave. Yes, the law and common sense forced him to treat him with the greatest care and respect, but it said the very same thing regarding animals! Slaves might be humans, but they weren't **people**. It was natural that he had missed his Kirei, like he missed Wing every time he died. But he had never grieved for five years in a row after a horse. Even if the new Wing was always carefully chosen from among the best steeds in the country. Even if they were good companions.  
  
No slave should mean more to him.  
  
And yet, here he was, after five miserable – but bearable – years, he realized that Duo, for he was not Kirei anymore, had no desire whatsoever to have anything to do with him.  
  
It was a stark contrast to all of the Wings, which were befriended with no trouble.  
  
So what should he do now? He could see that he was of no use to his king now. Heero barely registered the presence of others, in fact. All he thought about was Kirei, his violet eyes, his warm skin, the softness of his hair, the sweetness of his mouth, a leaf-shaped birthmark on his inner thigh, the sound of his moans…   
  
…his soft smile when he read a book, the way his eyes sparkled when Dorothy pulled him into a particularly heated discussion, the way his eyes would dart to Wufei when he tried to convince them that Mandarin was the most beautiful language on Earth (none of them had understood a word, of course).   
  
It had never been so hard before. As long as he believed him to be dead, he could go on. He hurt. He dreamed. But never had the pain been unbearable.  
  
But now, when he **knew** that Kirei was alive, that there was someone who could see him every day, he could not bring himself to go on.   
  
The general knew he needed another's opinion. His friends' he already knew. 'Kirei was your slave. Duo is a healer. The first is dead. The other you cannot have.'  
  
But then again he had always known that his elf was not a slave. In some way he had known. He had chosen to ignore it, but that was a totally different matter. It made him wonder, now that he was forced to acknowledge it, what was Kirei like as a person.  
  
Heero always needed a goal, or else he would have gone crazy long ago. His mind didn't work like a precise machine, it needed to see the objective, to plan the course of actions necessary to obtain it. Since he couldn't get his mind off Duo Maxwell, then Duo Maxwell would become his goal.  
  
Having set his mind, Heero went in search of his king. He found him in the library, analyzing maps.  
  
"Heero. Looks like you're out of work for a short while. There are no direct threats to Sanq, and the indirect ones seem to have moved away," Milliardo Peacecraft said, gesturing to the charts he'd been studying.  
  
"Then I need to request a leave, your majesty."   
  
The king regarded him carefully.  
  
"I was rather hoping you'll use this moment of peace and take a bride."  
  
"Majesty?"  
  
"Forget the title, for a while. You must have noticed that my daughter has become fond of you, ever since she became of age."   
  
Heero couldn't, for the life of him, remember himself truly talking to any girl except for Lady Dorothy during the last five years.  
  
"She is?"  
  
"Yes. I was rather hoping you would find your bride in her, actually."  
  
"Does she, by any chance, have blonde hair?" he asked cautiously. The comings and goings of the palace people usually escaped his mind. He took after his father in that aspect – Odin Lowe's solitude had become proverbial in Sanq. The only people he had spoken with were his wife, two or three friends and his son. After the death of Heero's mother he left the capital to journey with his child, leaving his other friends behind.  
  
The only reason Heero had some friends at all was that the great general was required to present reports from his journeys to his liege, personally.  
  
The king sighed. "I wasn't counting on it, but one can hope. What do you need that leave for?" Now Heero was in trouble. How was he supposed to tell his king that he wanted to pursue his theoretically dead slave? "Does it have anything to do with that long-haired, pretty, little boy you've had a couple of years back?" A stunned silence was his only answer. "Call that a lucky guess. Well?"  
  
"Well what?" Heero was too surprised to care about manners.  
  
"I am kind of curious, what kind of creature your slave had been, to leave you mourning for five years." The king paused at the general's expression. "Or were you too preoccupied with his… abilities to notice this consciously?"  
  
"I don't know, Milliardo. I suspected he was not a slave originally, but now we have encountered him in a temple. He is a healer now. I do not know what to think."  
  
"Let me guess. He vehemently refused to go anywhere with you, and you've realized what it feels like to be rejected. And now you want to know…"  
  
"I want him back. He belongs to me. Even if I have to seduce him back."  
  
"Interesting." The old man watched Heero carefully. Heero was staring out of the window, seeing nothing visible to the other's eyes. "And that's so important to you, that you decided to leave your post as the great general of Sanq?"  
  
"No! I just…"  
  
"I refuse to grant you permission to leave." The king's voice cut through the images in the general's head.  
  
"Your majesty?"  
  
"However I need someone trusted in the palace in northern Sanq. You will go and stay there for a couple of years. Lord Chang should be able to take over the duties of the great general should a need arise."  
  
"Thank you, my lord." Heero bowed, relief evident in his features.  
  
"I've been informed that some of the bailiffs were not respectable. Nothing too major, but the presence of someone with a reputation that states rather firmly that they are likely to neglect the negotiations might improve the situation." Pale blue eyes twinkled merrily.  
  
"Yes, your majesty."  
  
"You may go and prepare now. You'll leave within this month."   
  
The general all but fled from the room. Almost as soon as the doors closed behind him, they silently opened again.  
  
"Father? May I come in?"  
  
"Yes, Relena."   
  
The young princess smiled and walked over. "What happened to general Yuy? I saw him running to his chambers. He seemed… elated."   
  
The king smirked. "I am sorry, Relena, but I'm afraid you have to forget about marrying him, once and for all. He's leaving for northern Sanq soon."  
  
"Won't he come back?" The girl's blue eyes opened wide.  
  
"He might. I doubt it, however."  
  
"Why?" The princess's voice suggested she was near tears. Her father looked at her fondly and pulled her into a hug.  
  
"Because he has been challenged. Men like him don't back out from such challenges," the king said finally.   
  
"A challenge?"  
  
"Something he needs to work hard to obtain. As far as I know that's an entirely new concept for him."   
  
The girl's eyes lighted momentarily. "You mean he is going after Kirei," she stated calmly.  
  
It was the king's turn to look at his daughter surprised.   
  
"Don't look at me that way, father. Lady Dorothy is my friend, remember? I've spoken to Kirei a couple of times, he was one of very few people that were more or less my age at the time… although the general might not have noticed us speaking at all. He was too preoccupied with getting Kirei to look at him, to bother with looking at what Kirei was looking at."   
  
The man chuckled. "He'll have to learn that now."  
  
"You know what Dorothy told me the other day? You remember that Kirei fell of a cliff? They found him recently in a temple, in northern Sanq. He's a healer." The king nodded. Heero had said so too. "I was surprised, after all it has been only five years, and he was a little older than sixteen when he supposedly died. There is too much to be learned to be a healer to learn in five years, and he was not a novice, Dorothy said. Her husband had said that Kirei's name is Duo Maxwell."  
  
"Maxwell?" Now that was new information. It didn't explain much, but it was a surprise that a **slave** had a surname to go by…  
  
"Yes, I was surprised too. But Dorothy comes from Gaul [1] and she said that lord Maxwell was one of the nobles of Albion. She never knew them personally, but the late Lady Maxwell was rumored to have had violet eyes. They also said she was very beautiful."  
  
"By the Goddess! It's a miracle we don't have an army going for our throats now!" the king exclaimed.  
  
"Do not worry, father. Kirei didn't strike me as a person who would like to avenge their honor with the blood of others," the princess said soothingly.   
  
Her father looked at her for a while and smiled. "You'll make a fine queen, Relena. We just need to find you a husband who'd be more interested in hunting than ruling a country."  
  
"Just do not overdo it, father. I wish to be able to talk to him as well."  
  
"Of course."  
  
***  
  
Heero meanwhile barely noticed anything even remotely resembling a human being. He ran through the corridors too fast to take safe turns, his mind too preoccupied to notice the mess he left behind when the circumstances forced him to change the direction of his movement.  
  
His brain was overwhelmed with plans on how to seduce Duo to him. There was only the small problem that he had virtually no idea how to seduce a willing party, let alone someone who didn't wish to speak to him at all. Through his life his bed mates had been brought to him, and he had never questioned their presence. It's not like he only bedded slaves, he'd been with Wufei when they were both teenagers, he'd had both men and women in one country or the other. But – with the exception of Wufei – they had all been asking to get into his bed.  
  
Perhaps that's what made Duo so special, Heero mused walking into his room. He had been the only one whom he wanted, but who didn't want him. Desired, perhaps. But never **wanted**.  
  
"It doesn't matter now," the general told himself firmly. "He is mine. I will have him **willingly** this time." He walked over to the window in his chamber.   
  
Far away on the horizon, a single star appeared on a deep violet sky, as if saying that a new day will soon arise.  
  
[1] Gaul – ancient France. Catalonia sounds more like Spain actually, but I needed to have Dorothy as close to Britain as I could. ^_^


	6. Anticipation

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 5/?

Pairings: 1+2, minor 4x5x4 and 3xD (don't ask .) really mild R+1 (doesn't last at all), same goes for H+2

Rating: It probably doesn't deserve an R, but let it be so. Just to be safe and all.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Mild bastardisation of the pilots minus Duo. Smart and nice Relena.

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^

This fic has been betaed by Sundaire. ^_^ beams

************

Sunrises are always special.   
  
Even if you have to abandon your warm bed to go and see them, they are well worth it. Or at least that's what Duo thought, seeing that he had to be up shortly after he usually got up in time to see the spectacle the sky presented, just for him. or anybody else who happened to be up at this ungodly hour.   
  
That morning was especially beautiful. A delicate wind was blowing, caressing the face of the young healer, like the delicate touches of a lover's hand. The whistling of the breeze made him smile.  
  
"I remember Solo saying that when you hear whistling in your head that means someone is thinking about you warmly," he said aloud to his friend. Hilde stood a few paces behind him.  
  
"Duo?" He heard her soft voice. He turned his head and looked at the girl.  
  
"I'm fine Hilde. Just thinking."  
  
"I heard you were going away soon," she prompted. "Will you come back?"   
  
The man looked at the sky with a smile. "Of course. But I need to go, my sister-in-law is getting married again, I have to attend." He smiled softly. During the five years he spent in the temple he visited his previous home a couple of times. He managed to form a tender friendship with his brother's wife, once she got over her husband's death. The fact that Duo was very fond of children and had his little nephew adoring him practically on sight helped a lot.  
  
"Really? So who will become the next Lord Maxwell?" Hilde asked excitedly. Although her parents were nobles they weren't particularly wealthy and she was the youngest of ten children, so she had never been given much attention. However, she loved hearing stories about young nobles who became lords and ladies.  
  
"Otto," Duo smiled. "He's my nephew, Solo's and Une's son. But until he is of age, that is for ten or twelve more years, Lord Treize Khusherenada, he was a close friend of Solo's, will be acting the part, as he has so far. He fell in love with Une during that time. His first wife had passed away while giving birth to their daughter, and I suppose they will be now trying to get Otto and Mariemaia married by the time they're twenty."   
  
Hilde smiled softly. The world Duo was describing was alien to her. All of her sisters have been forced to marry at a very young age, rarely having much to say about the choice. They were fortunate enough that their parents didn't want splendor or money, so the men each of them married was around their age and able to provide them a good, though not easy, life. Nevertheless, Hilde had six sisters and three brothers, so there wasn't much she could possibly get as a dowry. One of her other sisters went to a monastery.  
  
At least being a healer offered Hilde a chance of having a family. She smiled at Duo. Duo smiled back. The sky was becoming more and more blue. The girl stepped closer to her friend, but he seemed oblivious to her proximity. The man's eyes were closed when Hilde touched her lips to his lightly. At first contact, however, Duo's eyes snapped open and he recoiled violently, pushing the girl away. His breathing sped up.  
  
"I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," he gasped softly.  
  
"It's okay. I should have asked, I know. I won't do that again." The words seemed sad coming from her lips. She took his hand. "I didn't want to frighten you." She let go and fled back into the temple. Duo kept looking after her, his expression torn.  
  
"You didn't," he whispered to the air and followed the girl. It wasn't that he was scared of being touched, at least not entirely. He just hated it when things happened out of his control. Besides, Hilde was just fourteen years old. Not even old enough to be considered a maiden.  
  
Duo knew, however, that he needed someone who would be strong enough to give him a sense of security.  
  
Before midday, Duo and Hilde managed to settle the misunderstanding, and were best friends again. Once that was accomplished, they and few other novices went into the woods to collect herbs to replenish the temple's resources.  
  
"Did you hear the news?" one of the novices asked. "They say that the great general is coming to the northern palace to stay."   
  
Duo jerked. "What did you say?" he questioned the youth sharply. "Who said that?"  
  
"My mother. She is a cook in the palace, healer," the boy answered respectfully. "I went to visit her yesterday, I saw there was a commotion in the palace and she explained that everybody was in a rush to get everything ready for the general's arrival. He is supposed to arrive within the next two weeks."   
  
Duo paled hearing the news.   
  
'Stop that!' he told himself. 'There is only one great general, true, but he wouldn't have come here only because of me.'  
  
***  
  
Heero was anxious. He was also annoyed, irritated and bored. His current position demanded that he traveled **properly** and that meant a carriage. Heero hated carriages. They made his skin itch, as ridiculous as it may have sounded.  
  
The journey presented no problems, and he certainly wasn't eager to have it delayed. It was better to leave unsaid what happened to one of the accompanying soldiers when he suggested they take a break for a hunt.  
  
Therefore, the group arrived at the small palace in relative peace. The designer of the building had obviously put his whole soul into the creation, taking in consideration that he had the natural environment to match. And he didn't disappoint. It was the kind of place that made a person think that the structure had grown there by itself, without any human influence. The task that awaited the general only served to make him more irritated. He did remember tips from Quatre and the king how to handle it.  
  
'Check the calculations first. Make sure everybody knows you checked the calculations. Then make a show of wanting to check them again. If anything is wrong, demand a talk with the offender. Make sure to let him get alive, but scare him out of his wits. If nothing is wrong, make sure to seem paranoid about wrongness. Ask a gardener or someone to do something tiny wrong. Make sure to interrogate him in front of witnesses who can't and **won't** hold their tongue. Let it spread.'  
  
'Easier said than done,' Heero thought. 'Now, how to reach the temple from here?'  
  
***  
  
The great general hated waiting. He was pacing around the room he had chosen to be his study – after all he was supposed to spend a couple of years in the palace – but the time didn't seem to move any quicker.  
  
"Just a few weeks," he kept repeating to himself, like a mantra. "Few weeks. He left a week ago, that makes it one week less. Journey there and back, about a week each. He will stay for a week at least. That makes it three weeks."  
  
"To hell with it!" Heero cried finally, snatching a huge, heavy vase from a nearby table and throwing it against the wall. It smashed with a loud crack. The sound sobered Heero a little. He watched the pieces for a while, unmoving. "Fine. He is gone. I can get those bailiffs out of the way."  
  
"Let them hope there is no reason for me to maim them." With that said, the great general sped into the kitchen, scaring most of the servants to death in the process. "Is the dinner prepared?" he asked tonelessly.  
  
"No, my lord. I am sorry, we weren't informed you'd…"  
  
"Good. Hold it then. And you," he turned to the major-domo "will get every single piece of report that has come here for the past ten years. I want it sorted properly, year by year. I will start going through it as soon as I'm back from the ride." He delivered everything at once, yet his voice sounded calm, monotone even. With every word he said, his control was returning. He had a death grip on himself once again. With the same detached calmness, he walked to the stables and prepared Wing to leave. His eyes were drawn to another steed – a horse so perfectly black that it seemed to suck light in.   
  
"'is name's Deathscythe, milord."   
  
Heero turned his head. The stable boy was standing at the entrance, looking both apologetic and frightened. There was only one, since the stable had never been overly extensive. "Am truly sorry, milord, I am 'sually 'ere, but 'very week a 'ealer comes 'ere and teaches the children of the servants to read and write… and I go and list'n." A blush colored his features when he admitted that. "The lessons're finished 'lready, but I w's talking to the 'ealer. It won't happen 'gain, am sorry, milord," he added quickly. The general looked at the boy for a long while.  
  
"If I wanted your assistance, I would have asked for it. Do not fear. Whose steed is that?" Heero found himself amazed how easy he managed to get the child to relax.  
  
"'e was born 'ere, milord. We 'sually allow 'im to run on the fields on 'is own, but during summer months we keep 'im mostly inside, milord, so that 'e doesn't serve any mare. We breed horses 'ere, but they are 'lways chosen. Deathscythe doesn't stay in the stables for the whole summer, 'e is taken for rides, but it isn't easy to make 'im carry a person. 'e allows only 'ealers and children on 'is back, milord."  
  
"I see."  
  
"'e is fond of 'ealer Maxwell the most, I think."   
  
The general froze. "Maxwell?"  
  
"Yes, milord. 'e is very nice too, milord, and usually it is 'im coming to teach us."  
  
"I see." Indeed, Heero saw. Duo was coming to the palace out of his own free will. Of course there was the tiny detail that his visit had nothing to do with the general, but everything to do with the peasants. It was just a minor detail. Unworthy of mention. "Does he come here only to teach?"  
  
"No, milord. 'e is friends with some people 'ere. And 'e comes to visit Deathscythe. 'e was here when Deathscythe was born, milord. 'e 'ould come again soon."  
  
"I was told he left," Heero put in stiffly. It annoyed him that the **stable boy** knew more about Duo than he did.  
  
"Yes, milord. 'e left to visit 'is family, milord. 'is sister-in-law is getting married again." Now, that was new.  
  
"Duo has a family?" Heero was certain that he was an orphan.  
  
"'e 'as sister-in-law, milord, and a nephew. 'e comes from Albion, milord. The lady is marrying Lord Khusherenada, the 'ealer said."   
  
Heero choked. "Treize Khusherenada?" he asked incredulously. "But he is a Lord!"  
  
"Yes, milord. So is the 'ealer. 'e lives 'ere, but 'is lands are in Albion. 'is parents are long dead, so is 'is older brother, so 'e is the lord now." Before the boy could say anything more Heero sent him away. He finished saddling Wing the fourteenth and left the stables, his head in turmoil. How was that possible?  
  
Why didn't he say anything? If he had though, no one would have believed him, so it was obvious why he never said anything.  
  
Why didn't he kill himself? The general was certain that should anything of that sort ever happened to him he would have plunged a sword through his own chest. Or bit through his wrists, if there was no other way.  
  
Then he pictured the above with long, wavy, chestnut hair and violet eyes.  
  
The nobility of it suddenly stopped looking appealing at all. In fact, if it hadn't turned out that Duo was born as an heir to something bigger than a stable, he would have started to consider leaving all of his titles behind and starting a new career as a stable boy.  
  
The vision wouldn't leave his head. What was it Quatre said about finding Kirei? That he bought him from some sailors… who had definitely seen better days.  
  
Heero shook his head and urged Wing into a gallop. The wind cleared his mind a little, enabling him to deal with his duties. Only one thing kept repeating itself in his mind.  
  
'Just a few more weeks.'


	7. A Lesson

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 6/?

Pairings: 1+2, minor 4x5x4 and 3xD (don't ask .)

Rating: It probably doesn't deserve an R, but let it be so. Just to be safe and all.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Mild bastardisation of the pilots minus Duo. Smart and nice Relena.

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^

Big thanks to Sundaire, for betaing this fic. bows

***

Time does not pass quickly when one eagerly awaits it's passing. The great general was finding that statement more and more true, as he stayed in the palace, scaring the living daylights out of everyone who ventured too near. The only good thing about the situation was that he achieved the opinion of being such a zealous legalist with a bad temper that no bailiff dared to step out of line anymore.   
  
The summer was coming to an end, the leaves turning slowly from green to yellow, orange and red. Harvest was almost finished, and the adjoining villages had already started preparing for the nearing winter. In those surroundings – with golden trees in the background – Heero had met the source of all of his anxieties once again.  
  
Four weeks had passed since Heero arrived at the palace. Each and every day he woke up hoping that the violet-eyed healer had returned to the temple. And finally his patience (as figurative as it was) had paid off – on a warm, sunny afternoon he spotted the person who had haunted his sleeping and waking hours for the last months. It was something of a coincidence that he managed to notice – he had just finished with some recent reports and stood up to stretch looking out of the window, when he noticed a group of children gathered around a slender person with golden-brown hair. Heero ran out immediately, leaving three dazed servants along his way. He slowed when he neared the children, not wanting to interrupt their lesson. He leaned against a wall, watching as Duo read and corrected simple sentences written on a flat stone the children were gathered around.  
  
"See, it isn't that hard," the healer said to one of the youngest children who had just written his name correctly. "You just need to concentrate a little. Now, Sally," he addressed another handing her a book. "Read the opening passage."   
  
The girl began to read slowly, with Duo correcting her once in a while. The book then traveled through all of the younger children's hands, so that all of them could read a couple of lines. After they were finished they gathered around Duo in a tight circle and the healer proceeded to tell them a piece of history of Sanq. When he finished he smiled at the children and stood up.  
  
"That would be all for today. Should any of you have time, go to the library and find some books you could read."  
  
"But we don't know if we can," said Sally. "There is a lord in the palace now, we almost never see him. He is scary," she finished in a whisper.   
  
Duo blinked at her surprised. "Well, I could talk to mister Annelli." Heero recalled dimly that was the name of the major-domo. He smiled inwardly – there was something that Duo needed his help with after all. "I'm sure he'll allow you to…"  
  
"I'm sure I'll allow them to borrow books." The scary lord appeared from behind the wall. "If you ask me to."   
  
The long-haired man froze seeing him. The children watched the couple not understanding.   
  
Sally tugged gently at Duo's sleeve. "Ask him, please? I want to learn to read! I want to be a healer too."   
  
The man looked into her blue eyes and closed his own for the briefest of moments. There was silence.  
  
"Would you be so kind, general, and allow the children to read books from your library?" the healer uttered finally.   
  
The other man smiled sadly, seeing the closed expression on Duo's face. "They are free to borrow whatever they like. As long as someone is notified which book they have," the general replied instantly.   
  
Duo was somewhat surprised. He didn't expect that. Well, he wasn't about to question the general's good mood.  
  
"Thank you, sir!" the children chorused happily and ran to their parents and chores. Duo seemed to stop noticing the general as soon as the children stopped expressing their thanks.  
  
"Tom!" he called. Heero recognized the stable boy he talked to when he first arrived. "How is Deathscythe doing?"  
  
"'e is good, 'ealer, just bored. I was wondering when will you come and take 'im for a ride, sir."   
  
Duo grinned. "I can do that now, if it's possible."   
  
"It is, sir. Follow me, sir, I'll prepare 'im," Tom said, leading the young healer to the stables. However before they could move more then ten steps Heero called to the boy.  
  
"Prepare Wing too. I want to talk with the healer."   
  
It took all of Duo's willpower not to freeze again.   
  
"Yes, milord." The boy rushed forward, leaving the pair alone for the first time in five years. Duo avoided looking into general's eyes.   
  
"Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about, general?" he asked softly.  
  
"No," Heero replied. He didn't say anything more, he just continued staring at his companion. The uneasy silence reigned, until Tom returned leading two horses, one of them grayish, the other black. The black one neighed happily seeing the healer. It trotted over briskly and nuzzled his face.  
  
"Hello there. Did you miss me?" he said softly, stroking the horse's nose. He mounted lightly, ignoring his companion totally. "I'll return him before nightfall," he said urging the black steed into a light trot. Heero followed suit.  
  
The ride started rather uneventfully. Duo was stiff and silent, leaving any and all conversation attempts to Heero, therefore putting him in a troubled state of mind, since conversing wasn't one of his strong points. So he chose direct approach.   
  
"That boy told me you were visiting your family recently," he said, trying to get his voice to sound soft and not commanding. The results weren't impressive at all, but it was a start.  
  
"Yes, I was," the healer answered curtly.  
  
"You never mentioned any family," Heero continued. Duo seemed to relax a little. Or at least he didn't appear so rigid anymore.  
  
"What difference would it make?" he asked, his tone somewhere between sad and hard. "Your friend obviously didn't care if I might be a noble. I would have thought it was obvious that I was not a slave from the way I talk, don't you? Even if I didn't have any other proof, that should be enough to **check**."  
  
"Quatre didn't mean you any harm," Heero attempted to defend his friend.  
  
"I consider being forced into someone's bed a harm. If you don't, that's not my problem," the healer heeled his horse into a faster run.  
  
"We had no way of knowing…"  
  
"You might have started by listening. It would have taken maybe two weeks to confirm my identity, and surely I wasn't the only available person in the palace if you were that desperate," Duo said somewhat angrily, his temper finally getting the better of him. He expected something drastic in return, a hit or perhaps a yell. He was surprised when Heero bowed his head and took his hand. So surprised in fact that he totally forgot to snatch it away.  
  
"I am sorry about that," was all that the general had said. Duo looked at him incredulously. Heero nudged Wing slightly to get closer to his companion. "I never wanted to do you any harm," he said very softly, caressing the healer's palm, bringing it to his lips.   
  
As soon as he placed a soft kiss on Duo's palm, the man pulled his hand back sharply, as if he suddenly remembered who exactly was accompanying him.  
  
"Why are you here?" the long-haired healer inquired. Heero fell silent. He didn't know what to say. Or more precisely, which answer should he give. Finally he shrugged.  
  
"Because of you," he answered. From the look on Duo's face he guessed that the news were neither new nor shocking to him. Healer's voice sounded steely when he answered.  
  
"I told you, you can't have me. I am nobody's toy." With that said, Duo urged his horse into a gallop, leaving Heero behind. The general didn't even try to chase him, choosing to stay behind and watching. When he finally lost the sight of the healer he blinked, as if waking up and looked around.  
  
He was at the entrance to the village nearest to the palace. He could see people going about their business, he could even hear their conversations if he strained his ears. The realization of what the proximity meant stung him a little.   
  
Duo didn't trust him enough to talk to him where nobody could see them.  
  
The general turned Wing and trotted lightly in the general direction of the palace. At least he knew where to start now. He would need to get Duo to trust him before anything else. He knew it was not going to be easy, but now he knew that whatever effort he might decide to put in wooing Duo would be well worth it. Of course the question of 'how' remained. Heero realized that despite the length of time spent studying the man, he barely knew him as a person. What could he possibly say when asked?  
  
He knew Duo liked to read. He read a lot of things, from fiction through poetry to historical books. Heero also knew that Duo liked horse-riding, swimming, probably sailing and talking, which all suited him just fine, even the last one, because against common opinions he enjoyed listening.   
  
But all of this was not bringing him any closer to his goal. 'How do I get someone to trust me?' he asked himself silently. That was one of the subjects that never crossed his mind before. Plenty of people depended on him, but he never had to earn anybody's trust. That was always Quatre's job.  
  
"And now I'm supposed to succeed where Quatre has failed," he said to himself aloud. Of course there was the obvious way of hiring someone to fake an attack and then gloriously save the healer in distress, but that presented a whole load of dangers Heero wasn't sure if he was prepared to face. Or if they were worth the risk. Like the most probable one, Duo seeing through the spectacle, or, the next in line, him beating the offenders up on his own. Option number one would result in him loosing all possible chances, the other one would achieve next to nothing.  
  
About two hours after he left with Duo, Heero returned to the palace, still without a clue as to how to seduce the long-haired man. He dismounted and led his horse back to the stables, ordering Tom to care for the animal. He walked slowly to the main door of the building.  
  
'There must be a way to get him to want me,' Heero thought, stepping into the palace. 'And I will find it. No matter how long it'll take. He will be mine.'

***TBC***


	8. Blizzard

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 7/?

Pairings: 1+2, minor 4x5x4 and 3xD (don't ask .)

Rating: It probably doesn't deserve an R, but let it be so. Just to be safe and all.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Mild bastardisation of the pilots minus Duo. Smart and nice Relena.

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^

Big thanks to Sundaire, for betaing this fic. bows

***

The general spent the next two days thinking, mostly. He knew that Duo had been coming to the palace every week, and he would still come, probably, but to ensure that he wouldn't suddenly stop Heero couldn't start haunting his every step. That, of course, meant not seeing the violet-eyed man as often as Heero might have liked.   
  
Stalking is never a good way to worm one's way into someone else's heart.  
  
Since he had something akin to a schedule now (even if it was infuriating to the point of maddening), Heero started going out more. For an unsociable person such as himself, going out consisted of activities such as reading outside, walking and riding, and that was exactly what he devoted his time to. He usually spent his days roaming the nearby woods, in search for good places to read. If it rained, he'd spend the day haunting the library.  
  
Roughly a week after Duo's return, on the presumed day of lessons, Heero found a cozy spot in a courtyard tree and spent all morning reading there. Around midday, he decided he needed a snack, so he jumped down from the tree and walked to the doors of the palace. Just as he was about to enter, he noticed that someone was sitting on the steps with a book on their lap. He recognized the person – it was the little girl who asked for books to read the other day. Her name was Sally, he recalled. And she was sniffling. He stopped and glanced at the girl.  
  
"Why are you crying?" he asked carefully. Little kids were never happy when he was around. There was one occasion when he nearly gave one of the little monsters (a little duke from some faraway land) a heart attack. That didn't make him very popular with the nobles, but the servants were pleased that someone had finally shown the little buggers that being scared to death wasn't a pleasant experience. Apparently they learned, or so had he heard. The girl, however, rose her head.  
  
"Other kids are making fun of me!" she wept, forgetting who was she talking to. "They say I'm a crybaby and not good enough to be a healer!" Heero rose a brow as the girl continued. "They say I won't be able to become a healer if I do not learn mathematics! But it's too difficult for me…" She started sobbing again.  
  
The general frowned thoughtfully.  
  
***  
  
Duo walked to the palace in trepidation. He tried to tell himself that he had nothing to fear. After all, even if the general tried something – and that was a big if, considering the way he acted the week before and the fact that he hadn't been seen ever since – the healer would be able to defend himself. And they were never alone.   
  
Nevertheless, being in the general proximity of that man made the young healer feel uncomfortable, and not only him. Rarely people felt at ease in the presence of the great general Yuy. It might have been what made him such an excellent soldier.  
  
It was understandable that when Duo finally entered the courtyard and noticed the scene displayed there, he was speechless. None other than the 'scary lord' was sitting on a doorstep with a child at his feet, drawing numbers in the sand. The little girl's brows were furrowed in concentration, as she tugged at one of her honey-blonde braids.  
  
"… and that's how you know that the equation is correct," the general finished underlining the solution. "Understand now?"  
  
"I think so," the girl smiled brightly.   
  
Heero looked at her rather skeptically. "So, what would you do if you had to multiply, say, eight by six?" he asked.   
  
Sally frowned, bowed her head and begun to write sloppy numbers.  
  
"Eight by six… so I need to add up six eights, right?" she said and without waiting for Heero to answer, she continued talking to herself. "Two eights is sixteen, three eights is…" she watched her fingers warily, "… twenty-four, and another one, so that would be thirty-two, five eights is forty, and plus the last one it will be forty-eight." She finished her calculations and gaped surprised. "I did it!" she exclaimed finally, "I counted!"   
  
Duo smiled. His eyes darted to the general quickly, but they stayed glued to the man's face.   
  
'He is smiling,' Duo thought, astonished. 'Smiling and not smirking.' In that moment Heero turned his head and looked directly at the healer, still wearing that tiny, soft smile. And for the first time ever Duo didn't avert his eyes and pretended he couldn't see him.  
  
That short moment of silence was all Sally needed to realize that someone had come. She ran across the yard to throw her arms around Duo's waist.   
  
"I counted! Did you see? The lord taught me to count properly!" she exclaimed. More children soon appeared, hearing the joyful cries, all running to greet the healer.  
  
Heero watched as Duo led the group to the spot they occupied the previous week. He sat down and started to ask the children what they read since his last visit. They answered excitedly, speaking about stories they had learned and poems they'd found. The general tuned all of their voices out in favor of observing the person they were gathered around.  
  
He watched, mesmerized, as one of the kids said something that drew a laugh from the man. It made him jealous a little. In all the time he knew Duo, he had never seen him laugh, not matter how hard he tried. He often wondered what the sound would be like. It blended perfectly with the voices of the children, being soft and tender, but energetic and strong at the same time.  
  
***  
  
The weeks passed slowly, each finalized by a visit of the violet-eyed healer in the palace. Heero spent every lesson sitting near the children, listening. Sometimes he would help children with mathematics or help them find books suitable for their age and abilities afterwards. He and Sally had become friends, the girl no longer scared of him.  
  
He quieted some – his temper no longer flaring at each and every living being who dared to cross his path. The time spent with children contributed to that a lot. Of course, the week he spent getting the children to come near him without a pole after his first tantrum had something to do with it too.  
  
Amazingly, the more time he spent with the kids, the warmer Duo's attitude became. Or more precisely, the more tiny bits of ice it lost. It was not nearly enough to become even casual friends, but it was a start. Duo was comfortable enough to actually converse, albeit coolly, with the man. The changes, however, were coming so slowly, that Heero barely noticed them. He kept thinking about the things he could do, and whatever he might be doing wrong.  
  
'That way he would never trust me!' Heero kept thinking. 'All I'm doing is sitting there, listening, and occasionally choosing books for seven-year-olds! The only good thing about me being here is that the bailiff idiots are not making mistakes with their bills anymore.'  
  
Some more time passed, and the first snow arrived. It covered everything, giving the earth an ethereal appearance, so different from it's normal one. With its coming, the lessons moved inside, into the warmth of the kitchen, which fortunately was large enough to accommodate everyone, even the grumpy lord of the palace. Heero gave orders to have Deathscythe prepared for the healer when he would go back to the temple after the lessons, to spare him from having to fight his way through the snow. The distance between the palace and the temple wasn't great, but the shortest way led through the forest, and going alone through the forest with snow lying all over the place was not safe, especially after nightfall. A few weeks after the snow fell, the children's lessons ended up being so long that when Duo got ready to leave, it was already dark outside, which naturally caused a commotion.  
  
"You can't go out there alone!" Sally wailed. "It's dark!"   
  
Duo merely smiled. "I'm not afraid of the dark, Sally. Nothing's wrong. Don't worry," he grinned reassuringly, packing the books he brought into a bag.  
  
"But the child is right, healer. It is too dangerous now to go out on your own," one of the kitchen maids told him.   
  
Heero stood up. "I'll go with you," he said. "I will take Wing, the snow is too deep for a carriage already. I'll prepare him on my own," he said, seeing the stable boy raise from his seat. Duo stiffened.  
  
"There is no need general. I can manage going back by myself."  
  
"Nonsense. It's dark," Heero said curtly and exited the warm kitchen.   
  
Duo did his best not to gulp. Here he was thinking that the general had finally gotten the point and decided to leave him alone, but this stunt had reawakened all of his fears. Nevertheless, he smiled at the children and marched to the stables, where the general was preparing his steed.  
  
"You really don't have to do this," Duo said softly, desperately.   
  
The man stopped moving for a short while. "I don't want anything to happen to you," he said simply, and finished saddling his horse.  
  
"That's why **you** are accompanying me?" Duo muttered under his breath. "Isn't that, like, defeating the purpose?"   
  
The statement wounded Heero deeply. He knew that he couldn't count on any sort of cooperation from the object of his obsession, but the statement hurt, nonetheless. He whirled around and caught the slender wrists of the healer, pinning them to the wall with one hand, the other covering Duo's mouth before he could scream. He used his bodyweight to pin the healer to the wall.  
  
Duo tried not to panic. At least outwardly. His eyes were tightly shut, his body tense, yet he forced himself to stay calm. 'Easy. I can break free. If he moves back a little…' he thought to himself. The general lowered his head a little, tracing the contours of Duo's face with the tip of his nose. He opened his mouth slightly, however what came out wasn't what Duo was expecting to hear.  
  
"Why can't you trust me just this little bit?" he whispered softly. "I just want to see you home. Safe and sound. I'm not asking for more." 'Yet,' Heero added inwardly. He did understand, however, that he needed to earn more. "Why can't you see that?"   
  
Duo's eyes were wide open. Heero's forehead rested on his shoulder, while his wrists were slowly released. The general stepped back slowly, raising his hands in the gesture of surrender.  
  
"I swear on my life, that I will never again do anything against you," he promised looking at his stunned companion gently. "Will you allow me to accompany you now?"   
  
Duo couldn't do much else but nod, still in shock.  
  
After that incident, the ride itself was rather uneventful. The night was quiet and cloudy, neither star shine nor moonshine. Duo looked at the sky and frowned. 'It's going to snow, soon,' he thought. He said nothing to his companion, hoping that the storm would wait for Heero to get back to the palace.   
  
Either it didn't hear or it chose to ignore him. The blizzard started as soon as the temple came in sight, though fortunately once the conditions were so bad that they couldn't see, they could still pinpoint the location. It was snowing so heavily that Duo had problems with seeing Deathscythe's nose. Not to mention the troubles with making out Wing's silhouette. Heero noticed this quite fast, and steered Wing closer to the healer, catching the rein.   
  
He bowed his head and said directly into Duo's ear, "I don't want to lose you." Duo shivered. He knew that the man had only meant not losing sight of him in the storm. But the way it had been said… it has been filled with emotion. He couldn't remember anyone but Solo ever speaking to him like that.  
  
Perhaps, it was that connection that caused him to suggest that the general stay at the temple until morning, and not leave as soon as the blizzard stopped. He averted his eyes when saying it, so he didn't notice the general's surprised – yet pleased – expression.

***TBC***


	9. Learning

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 8/?

Pairings: 1+2, minor 4x5x4 and 3xD (don't ask .)

Rating: It probably doesn't deserve an R, but let it be so. Just to be safe and all.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Mild bastardisation of the pilots minus Duo. Smart and nice Relena.

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^

Big thanks to Sundaire, for betaing this fic. bows

***

Heero woke up feeling decidedly strange. His bed didn't feel right. It wasn't flat or wide, not to mention it smelled of hay. He sat up blinking. The room he was in wasn't what he was accustomed to seeing – sunlight seeped through the window. The walls were made of grey stone, there were some tapestries hanging on them, but they were not the crimson red he was accustomed to seeing. They had a myriad of crude flowers on them instead. He shook his head. No matter how many times he woke up in that room, he was always surprised. 'You've slept in silks and feathers far too long,' he thought.  
  
He got up slowly and walked to the window. The world outside was covered in fluffy, white snow, which glittered in the sun. It must have been late morning, Heero realized, but everything was still white and fresh. He stood at the window, watching for a while. It had been a long time since he was able to simply enjoy the views nature presented.   
  
The winter was reaching it's peak. It would be less than a month before the snow started to melt, but until then, the weather was cold enough to ensure that the snow would be a delicate eiderdown, not a heavy wet grist. Heero smiled to himself. That weather gave him excuses to spend time with Duo. The kids at the palace hated the idea of their beloved teacher going out in the snow alone (blizzards were a frequent occurrence), so Heero had volunteered to see him home each and every time. After the first trip, the rest went rather smoothly. The healers at the temple quickly got accustomed to the general spending the night if the storms were particularly nasty. Some of them even started to enjoy his company, which frustrated Duo endlessly.  
  
Of course, if the gales managed to quiet before they arrived, or shortly after, the violet-eyed man would be the first to kindly send the general on his way.  
  
The funny thing was that ever since Heero left the capital, he spent most of his time socializing with servants and their children, and he actually started to realize that they were people, the same as he himself was. It had never occurred to him before. Usually 'servants' were the unnamed creatures of the night who cooked the meals, cleaned the clothes, scrubbed the floors. Of course he had never been cruel to any of them, he understood how important they were, but he never gave them much thought. The slaves, in his opinion, were even less. Perhaps, he mused, that's why it was so hard to get anywhere with Duo. He had failed to notice the person inside him for so long, perceiving him as just a body instead, that he had troubles with losing that frame of mind. He could feel it changing, however. With each and every storm, he understood Duo Maxwell a little better, setting him apart from Kirei at the same time.  
  
The general stretched, put on his warm cloak and left the room for a morning stroll. After a short moment of confusion, he found his way outside, with a firm resolution of not going in search of Duo.  
  
***  
  
Heero walked around the temple, looking for his favourite spot. He had already memorized the settings. He did that often when he went to a new place – there was no telling, he might find a use for that in the future. Also, all places had some spots that he eagerly went back to, such as a pine coppice. Coincidentally, that was exactly what the temple had to offer in terms of cosy spots. It was located directly behind the sheds. To Heero's utter astonishment, he found Duo by the small huts, standing without his white, hooded cloak, chopping the wood.  
  
"Good morning," Heero called softly. Duo paused and wiped sweat from his brow.  
  
"Good morning. It stopped snowing. The weather seems to be fine," he answered curtly. Heero chose to ignore the implication.  
  
"I didn't know it was your duty to chop wood," he said, trying to keep Duo speaking.  
  
"Generally it isn't but I promised the children a bonfire today. There is plenty of wood that needed chopping and I have a free morning," the man answered, placing yet another piece of wood on the stump and swinging the axe in a graceful arch. Heero couldn't help but stare. He wouldn't have thought that the healer was that strong. The fact that he shed the cloak and the loose outer tunic leaving only a tight-fitting under shirt on didn't help any.  
  
The last time he had seen Duo without some kind of loose robe on was… the night five years ago, before the accident. He almost forgot how wonderfully supple the man was. Heero was so immersed in his thoughts that he didn't notice the steady rhythm of the wood being chopped had stopped. He looked up meeting the healer's bright eyes.  
  
"Please stop looking at me like that," Duo whispered averting his gaze.  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Heero replied softly. Then the small pile of wood caught his attention. "Can I help you with that?" he asked. Duo blinked surprised.  
  
"I can manage, thank you," he said firmly, clutching the axe. The other man wasn't perturbed.  
  
"You are tired. Let me help," Heero continued firmly. 'Anything to get my mind of him in that tight clothing,' he thought at the same time, seeing Duo finally give up the axe. The general took the tool and weighed it carefully. It looked simple enough. Then he eyed the wood warily. 'It's not about strength, it's about proper leverage,' he reasoned contemplating the task.  
  
"You do know how to work it, right?" Duo asked half amused, watching the doubt being reflected on the other man's face. He picked a cloth from the ground and wiped his face breathing harshly.  
  
"Well, if I was supposed to kill someone with it, I wouldn't have any problems," Heero said, taking an experimental swing. The violet-eyed man gaped, then started to laugh heartily. The general watched, mesmerized. It was the first time he made Duo laugh. His laughter was so beautiful, so joyful. He almost forgot himself, hearing the sound and knowing that he been the cause of it made him feel like he was flying. Pure, unadulterated happiness sounded in that voice.  
  
"Let me show you then," Duo said merrily, reclaiming the axe. "Keep your hands and legs apart, so that you can keep your balance properly, and make sure you can keep a firm hold at the handle. Then you swing…" As if punctuating the statement, the axe swished and slashed a piece of wood in two. "It takes some practice. You don't need that much strength to it – you just need to swing it properly." Thorough the speech Duo almost managed to forget who he was speaking to – he stood by Heero's side relaxed, close enough to touch. He found the situation funny – the great general was being taught how to chop wood. As soon as he stopped talking, however, the spell seemed to disappear. He remembered suddenly and stepped back quickly. He noticed the look of regret in Heero's eyes, but he also noticed that although the man had plenty of opportunities to grab him, he made no move towards it.  
  
It made him wonder. Maybe, just maybe, the man wasn't as spoiled and selfish as he had thought. Duo walked slowly to the pile of clothes on the ground, picked up his tunic and robe and dressed.  
  
Heero, on the other hand, was dead to the world as long as Duo stood merely a breath away. He could smell the scent of the man, any closer and he would have been able to touch the slim form. It was a miracle that even a vague idea of what he was supposed to do with the sharp object he wielded managed to get through his haze. Heero gazed longingly at the slender healer as he stepped away, but immediately he concentrated on more important matters. How was he supposed to strike an upstanding piece of wood, aiming with an axe from behind his head?  
  
It took him a couple of tries to hit even in the remote vicinity of the chock. By the time he managed to successfully chop the piece in half, Heero was already drenched with sweat. He quickly threw his cloak to the side and reached for a new chock.   
  
It didn't go smoothly, but half an hour later Heero had managed to chop quite a pile of wood. Duo stopped him suddenly.  
  
"That's enough. Thank you, general," he added, handing Heero a piece of cloth so that he could wipe the moisture of his face. He took it gratefully, sitting himself on a log nearby.   
  
"I didn't know it was that hard," the general admitted.  
  
"I didn't either. And it took me far more time than it took you to learn," Duo said, carrying the small pieces into the shed and piling them, "although I was smaller than you, and much weaker." Heero watched the slender figure. He regretted only that Duo put all of his clothes on. "I need to go," Duo remarked unceremoniously when he finished. "Good bye, general."  
  
"See you," Heero replied quietly. The healer nodded and started to walk to the temple. After he went several paces he turned around, however.  
  
"Put on your coat, general," he said "or you will catch a cold."  
  
"I will." Heero smiled. He could swear he saw something gleam in the violet eyes. But before he could realize what exactly it was, the healer turned around and left. The general buried his face in the cloth he was given. It smelled faintly of hay and herbs…  
  
It smelled of Duo. Heero groaned softly. He wasn't going to let that cloth be washed for a long time. He probably wasn't going to let it out of his sight any time soon either.

***TBC***

Some end notes: 

What Duo is wearing is more or less similar to the Jedi garb from episodes 1 and 2, crossed with a Japanese kimono. Heh, I'm first and foremost an artist, so I picture stuff first, then I write it down. ^_^ That of course leads to my friends at school looking at me funny, when I snatch a paper out of my bag in the middle of the lesson and start doodling.

The RL was eating me alive this days, so I didn't manage to get back to all you wonderful people who reviewed. Hereby I thank you all very much! It's a pleasure writing for you. ^_^


	10. First steps

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 9/?

Pairings: 1+2, minor 4x5x4 and 3xD (don't ask .)

Rating: It probably doesn't deserve an R, but let it be so. Just to be safe and all.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, Mild bastardisation of the pilots minus Duo. Smart and nice Relena.

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^  
Notes: Progress! dances a small victory dance

Big thanks to Sundaire, for betaing this fic. bows

***

The sun had already passed its highest point in the sky when Duo finally found some time for the trip to the palace. He had been called there the previous night, and since it was nearly midnight when he could finally leave, the kind general insisted he at least take a horse with him. The perfect weather gave the man no excuse to invite himself along.   
  
Duo brushed a handful of hay from the leather saddle. He was in the temple's stables, preparing Deathscythe for the trip. The horse stood patiently, submitting to his ministrations. Duo tightened the girth on its stomach expertly and stroked the animal's velvet nose.  
  
"Hey, eager to go for a ride, aren't you?" The horse neighed loudly. Duo laughed. "I hoped so." He led the animal outside and mounted quickly. "It's a great day for a ride," he remarked to no one in particular. And indeed, the day seemed to be made for walks and horse rides. Even if it was still quite cold outside and the snow was still everywhere, the air was fresh and pleasant. One could clearly smell the upcoming spring.  
  
"Duo!"   
  
Said man turned his head and watched his friend running to him.  
  
"Hello Hilde," he waved cheerfully. The girl stopped, resting her palms on the horse's neck and bent down trying to catch her breath. A few hard coughs made it past her lips. "You shouldn't run," the healer admonished, concerned. "As long as you're having these coughing fits, you shouldn't strain yourself."   
  
The girl waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine. Where are you going?" she asked curiously.  
  
"I need to return the horse to the palace. And I promised to fetch Sally today."  
  
"Sally? That little blonde girl?" Hilde blinked a couple of times. "What for?"  
  
"Well, I promised her that as soon as she is old enough she may come to the temple to study," Duo explained, grinning. "She had her seventh birthday the day before yesterday."  
  
"Oh. Is she still having troubles with mathematics?" the girl asked.  
  
"Surprisingly, no. The general has been tutoring her and she managed to grasp the idea behind it finally. I gave her a simple potion to brew, and she managed to dose everything correctly," Duo replied thoughtfully. "Well, she is no genius when it comes to counting, and she counts slowly, but she doesn't make mistakes anymore. It's a funny thing actually, but she appears to be really good at cooking. She can spot the difference between a spoonful and a handful of something with no problems, and we are talking her handfuls here, but she had so much trouble with seeing the difference between adding and multiplying!" Duo said almost disbelievingly.   
  
The younger healer giggled. "I'm glad," Hilde's response was cut short by another coughing fit. Duo looked at her worriedly.   
  
"Go inside and warm up. It's too cold out here," he advised sternly. The girl smiled at him and left, pressing a palm to her bosom to ease the pain in her lungs. The man watched her worriedly until she entered the temple. It wasn't normal; the coughing fits with no fever, which plagued the girl from time to time. Nothing seemed to help - easing the pain was all they could do. Even the master healers could do nothing but hope that it would pass with time. Still mulling over what could be wrong with Hilde, Duo turned Deathscythe's head onto the boulevard and urged him into a light trot.  
  
"It is late. Although I don't think that the general would mind, you know?" the man said to the horse. "He probably would allow me to keep you if I asked. I wonder what has happened to him recently. He's being almost sociable these days. It may not be much, but he **is** smiling at me and being nice to people in general, especially me… it's almost as if he cared for me…," he ended in a whisper. "Really cared."  
  
People never seemed to understand that even if he was grown up, he needed someone to care for him. It wasn't that he was tired of caring for people; he was a healer after all. It was his job to care for people. He was just tired of being the source of support. Everyone came to him seeking comfort or help and disappeared, figuratively speaking, as soon as they received it. It wasn't that they were ungrateful or anything – they just didn't understand what he needed in return. Duo had grown up virtually alone - he had a few caretakers and Solo, but he spent most of his youth away from home, accompanied by adults who either treated him as a toddler and spoiled him rotten or were accustomed only to dealing with adults and treated him as such. Therefore, if there was one thing Duo was unable to express, it was his need to be cherished, to have someone who understood, that despite him being always able to manage on his own he wanted and needed someone, who wouldn't need his support, who would support **him**.  
  
'Just for once, it would be nice to have someone to lean on, once I've reached my limits. Someone to hold me when I'm sad or hurt,' he thought. 'Like Une always held Solo when something was going wrong.'  
  
***  
  
Heero was curious. Sally had been bouncing up and down for the past two days, for reasons unbeknownst to him. Finally he couldn't take the suspense anymore - he caught the girl around the waist when she passed him for an umpteenth time. He carried her easily to the nearest chair and set her down.  
  
"Why are you running around?" he asked sternly. The girl blinked her blue eyes at him and beamed.  
  
"I had my seventh birthday two days ago!"  
  
"And that is a reason to be so excited?" Heero asked.  
  
"Yes!" Seeing that the man obviously didn't understand, the girl elaborated. "The healer said that when I'm seven I can go to the temple and learn to become a healer too!" The general stared. "And he was asking me to do a potion the other day, and he said I did it very well, and he said he'll be collecting me shortly! And shortly is today! I've packed my things already," the girl uttered in one breath.  
  
"What about your parents?" the man asked curiously, surprising himself with the realization that he was curious indeed.  
  
"The healer talked with them. They said it is fine for me to go. And the temple is not far away too - I'll be able to visit anytime," Sally replied, although her voice wavered slightly. Heero looked at her closely.  
  
"You don't have to go. You can stay here, you know?"  
  
"Oh, but I want to! I've wanted to be a healer forever! And the healer was always telling me that I'd do well," the girl started explaining. "He came here five years ago, so I was two years old when he first came," she beamed, holding two fingers up, proving that her counting was correct. Heero nodded absentmindedly. "He started coming here, to the palace, teaching us all to read and write and I started taking part in those lessons as soon as my mommy said I was old enough. The healer taught me to read and all. Sometimes he would tell us stories about all those funny places he's been too, all the stories he has heard - you know that in some countries people wear bathrobes during the day?"   
  
Heero smirked. "The bathrobes are called kimonos. And yes I know that. In fact my grandmother comes from that country," he replied.  
  
"Really? Do you have a kimono?"  
  
"I do have one. But I hardly ever wear it," Heero said thoughtfully.  
  
"Is it true that they live on a ground that has water all around it?" she inquired further. "How come it doesn't sink? Ground is heavy."  
  
The general raised a brow. "That ground is called an island. It cannot sink, because there is no water underneath it. It's a lot like… a mountain, only surrounded with water."  
  
"Sally!"   
  
The general and the girl turned their heads. There was a woman standing in the corridor not far from them - Sally's mother, Heero realized. The woman started, noticing the man her daughter was talking with. "Excuse me, milord, but healer Maxwell has come for Sally. He is waiting for you in the courtyard, sweetheart."   
  
The little girl beamed. She uttered a quick goodbye to the lord and went to grab her mother's hand. Heero stood up slowly and followed the pair downstairs.  
  
***  
  
Duo dismounted and gave the reins to Tom. The horse neighed while it was led away.  
  
"Healer!"   
  
He heard an enthusiastic call, a split second before a child's arms wrapped around his waist.  
  
"Hello," he said, waving to all of the other children who circled him then. "How is it going, you all?"  
  
"Sally is telling us you're taking her with you to the temple, is that true?" one of the children asked curiously.   
  
Duo smiled. "Yes, that's true. Sally is seven now, so she can begin her training as a healer," he explained patiently.  
  
"Will you still be coming to teach us? Will she?"  
  
"Of course I will. And Sally will probably be coming with me." Violet eyes twinkled merrily. There was another enthusiastic cry of 'Healer' and Sally launched herself at the man. "Hello Sally. Good day to you, Mrs. Po. How are you today?"  
  
"Very fine, thank you," the woman replied, curtsying. Duo's eyes lingered on her for a short moment before acknowledging the person beside her.  
  
"Good afternoon, general."  
  
"Good afternoon," Heero replied to the greeting softly, taking in the joyous expression on the other man's face. He watched as Sally begun chirping happily about things she wanted to do, things she wanted to see and everything she could possibly learn. The healer managed to answer each of her questions, which was pretty amazing, considering she hurled them at a speed known only to wind.   
  
"Sally!" the healer finally exclaimed, stopping her. "Go and get your things. We need to go if we wish to get to the temple before dusk."   
  
The little girl looked at him, suddenly scared.  
  
"Okay," she replied in a small voice. She ran into the palace quickly and returned at top speed with a bag tucked under her arm. When she reached her mother, she stopped suddenly, dropped her things to the ground, and flung herself at the woman. "Goodbye mommy!" she cried. The woman patted her hair gently.  
  
"Go on Sally. We're very proud that you're going to be the healer, you know that, both me and daddy. Visit us sometimes," she added with a smile, even though there were tears in her eyes. She was very young and Sally was her first-born child. It was understandable that she was sad seeing her daughter leave at such an age, even if she wasn't going far away. The farewells would have been long and tearful, but Sally wasn't the cry-baby people often took her for. She stepped away from her mother and smiled bravely, blinking back a few tears.  
  
"Goodbye, mommy. Say goodbye to daddy too. I'll see you both soon," she said firmly. What she did next surprised virtually everyone. She bounced over to the general and hugged him tight. "Goodbye milord! Thank you!"  
  
Heero was shocked beyond words. It was hard to see, since he never talked much, but still. He recovered quickly enough to return the hug before the little girl let him go, picked her bag up, and grabbed the healer's hand.  
  
"Let's go!" she said, feigning cheerfulness. That shook Duo from his stupor. He gazed at the general, astounded. This was the same man the children called 'scary'? The one Sally just hugged as if she was sad she wouldn't be seeing him anymore? The one with that soft, tender smile? Duo blinked. Perhaps there was something strange going on today. He glanced back at Sally's inquiring eyes and grinned.  
  
"Yes, let's go." He took the bag from the child's arm and bid everyone present goodbye, allowing his eyes to linger for a couple of seconds on the general. The man offered him a tiny smile and a nod, to which Duo responded. He caught himself marveling at how approachable the general now looked. He didn't seem nearly as scary as before. The whole exchange only took a short moment, and very quickly Duo turned around to walk away. There was only about an hour before the sunset, which was roughly the amount of time needed to walk from the palace to the temple when one walked with a child.   
  
The crowd in the courtyard was scattering. People had things to do; they couldn't afford to spend the whole day sitting around watching. A few minutes later, only Heero remained, looking where he could still see the two figures on the road. Strangely enough, this time he didn't feel the desperation he usually felt when Duo was going away. There was only anticipation. Heero would see the violet eyed man again, and he would see him soon. And when they meet, Duo wouldn't be running away in fright from him anymore. Suddenly the future seemed much brighter.  
  
What made him so sure was the brilliant, if a little hesitant, smile Duo had sent him before he turned away to leave.  
  
***TBC***  
  
  



	11. Helping

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 10/?

Pairings: 1+2, mentioned past 1x2

Rating: R overall, although it probably doesn't deserve that much.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, fluff. WAFF

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^  
Notes: Even more progress!

Big thanks to Sundaire, for betaing this fic. bows  
  
***

The winter was finally giving up, albeit slowly, allowing the small creatures to worm their way out from their nests and enjoy the world again. Leafs started to shyly appear on the trees and in some places the green grass started to take place of the snow. There wasn't much of it yet, the ground that lost the snow already was mostly brown, but it was enough to give a person a feeling of change. Early flowers started to blossom, carefully making their way through snow and dead leaves from the previous year.  
  
The temple was in a hustle – every man, woman and child were helping with the preparations for the annual leaving of the lumbermen – every spring, early in the year they would go into the woods to cut down the old and partially dead trees to bring a years worth supply of firewood for the healers. Heero was watching the preparations curiously as Duo explained what the purpose of the trip was.  
  
"I went too, the first spring I was here. They always take a novice healer with them, just in case anything happens. I was a kid then, so you can imagine I was thrilled – I got to sleep in the woods and all. The trip lasted two weeks, and when we came back, everything was so different," Duo said, smiling at the sky. "When we went it was still winter, technically speaking, but when we came back it was already spring. Almost as if it happened in one night – all the things you do not notice in a forest suddenly strike you as you go out."   
  
He and the general were sitting on a low stone bench, with enough space between them to accommodate another person, drinking in the freshening landscape. Or at least Duo was, since Heero was too busy taking in the smiles and sparkles in his companion's eyes. Heero winced a little when he heard the healer refer to himself as a 'kid.'  
  
"You weren't that young…," he tried to object softly.  
  
"I was almost seventeen. That made me not perhaps a child, but definitely not an adult yet," Duo said, shaking his head. "In Albion, at least," he added as an afterthought. The general wondered briefly what that made him. He opened his mouth to speak but he was interrupted swiftly.  
  
"Healer!"   
  
Both man turned their heads to see a small girl dressed in white healer's garb run over to them.  
  
"Sally," Duo said pleasantly. "Did something happen?"   
  
The girl stopped right before him and curtsied in the general's direction. Then she latched her small hands onto Duo's.  
  
"Mr. Dermail is sick. His son just came to inform us; he will not be able to join the leaving!" she exclaimed. The healer's brows furrowed.  
  
"He's just one man. Surely there would not be much of a difference?" Heero said, seeing the expression.   
  
Duo glanced at him sideways. He was starting to enjoy the company of the man, even if he was still nervous at times. "Normally there wouldn't, but this year a lot of men are sick. There are not too many of them as it is."  
  
"No worries Duo."   
  
Both the healer and the general turned around and bowed respectfully to the elderly man that approached. Sally curtsied shyly, making the master healer smile warmly in return, and stepped closer to Duo. She was still a little intimidated by the old man. "I'm sure you'll be glad to hear that the general volunteered to fill out for the missing people a few days ago," the man continued.  
  
"Excuse me?" The long-haired man suddenly found himself speechless. Heero smirked. "B…but he cannot go! He is unprepared, he doesn't know how to chop down trees, he is a soldier, not a lumberjack! No one will have time to teach him what to do!"  
  
"Yes, that's true," the elderly man said solemnly. Duo calmed down. "Which is why I volunteered you to accompany the men as a healer. As usual, just as a precaution. I thought that since you wouldn't have that much to do you'd be able to instruct the general."   
  
The violet eyes of the healer grew huge. And then they grew some more. "Wha…?" he asked weakly. "But it's a job for a novice!"  
  
"Yes it is."  
  
"I am not a novice!"  
  
"No, you aren't," the master healer agreed. He continued nevertheless. "However, I was thinking that since so few men are going, it wouldn't hurt if you went; after all, you have some experience. I told Hilde to pack some things for you. Go and see if she packed everything you would need."   
  
Sally was looking at the expression on Duo's face, not understanding why he was so shocked. The man glared at the master healer some more, then suddenly whirled around and left scowling. The little girl ran after him immediately.  
  
"Is something wrong, healer?" the girl asked cutely. "Are you upset?"   
  
Duo looked at her trying to find the correct words. "No… not really. I just didn't expect…," he made vague gestures, trying to describe his feelings. "I'm not sure if I'm completely comfortable with him." He briefly questioned the wisdom of relaying problems of **that** nature to a seven-year old. "Sweetheart, it is very hard to explain. I'm not sure if I understand it completely myself."  
  
"You didn't like him when he came here," the child observed.   
  
Duo sighed. "No, not really," he answered.  
  
"But you do now."  
  
"Well, not really." The man scratched his head. "I learned to tolerate him, long ago. I guess I just continue to, for the time being. I might have stopped perceiving him as a threat." It was rather obvious from Sally's expression that she did not understand. "Never mind. He is not as bad as I thought initially." Duo sighed, defeated, entering his chamber.  
  
"Hello Duo," Hilde said, waving cheerfully at him. "I take it you've come to check if everything is packed correctly?"  
  
***  
  
Heero was staring after the pair. Of course to an intent observer it would be rather obvious that his eyes were glued to the taller of the two figures. The master healer prided himself on an intent observer. He coughed pointedly.  
  
"I would expect you not to treat this as an invitation," the old man said firmly. "It wasn't meant to be one."   
  
Heero blinked, surprised. "I don't…"  
  
"I understand that you don't understand. He is going with you because he is young, strong and quite skillful with an axe, for a healer. If Dermail was going I wouldn't have sent Duo."  
  
Surprisingly enough for the elderly healer, Heero's mouth quirked. "By the way you were speaking with him, one would think you were encouraging him to be with me," the general said with a smirk.   
  
The healer's friendly eyes narrowed dangerously. "That is exactly what I **didn't** want you to think." If Heero was ever disrespectful to people older then himself, he would have thought the man was scowling. "I understand that you youths would gladly take everything as a sign fitting for whatever you want to see signs for, but that's normal and should be discouraged." Heero smirked.  
  
"I'm not a youth, by any standards, master," he remarked casually.  
  
"Oh please. You can't be older than twenty-six or seven," the man said, waving his hand dismissively.  
  
"I'm almost thirty-one," the general replied with a slight smile. He received a stunned blink in response.  
  
"Thirty-one? Just how is that possible?" [1] But the older man composed himself, regaining the upper hand almost immediately. "Nevertheless, I'm still more than twice your age, which means you are still a child in my eyes. What's more, I am taking care of Duo, which means you have to listen to me when it comes to him."   
  
Heero bristled. "I will not be listening to **anyone**," he growled. "It's up to Duo to decide whether he wants me or not!" All his life he got what he wanted, although not exactly the way people usually thought he did. He had to work for most of everything, his father didn't believe in silver platters. He didn't get the position of the great general of Sanq as a part of his inheritance, contrary to what most people said. He was prepared to stand his ground, no matter the circumstances, no matter the opponent.  
  
"As long as we're clear on that," the master healer remarked, lightly turning around and walking to the temple, leaving Heero in a state of severe mental shock. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. It looked like someone was on his side after all.  
  
***  
  
Duo sighed, watching Hilde put some spare clothes into his bag. He checked the contents of the pack that was filled with all of his healing equipment and frowned.  
  
"Sally!" he called softly, counting on the little girl to be standing just outside his door.   
  
She poked her head through the door, smiling happily. "Can I help? Can I, can I, can I?" she bounced up and down, eager to be involved.  
  
"I will need more linen," Duo said, indicating his bag. He unpacked most of his herb supply – he was going into the forest after all – but fresh cloth might prove useful and it couldn't be found in the forest. The blonde girl bounced once or twice more and virtually flew out of the door. The healer chuckled, but the chuckles were cut short by Hilde's coughs. "Hilde are you sure you are taking good care of yourself? No cold should last this long."  
  
"I don't know what else I could do," the girl replied sadly. "I'm doing everything you told me to do, I'm drinking those herbs, I'm drinking honey, but nothing seems to help."  
  
Duo frowned and pulled the girl closer for a rather awkward hug. "I'm worried about you," he said softly. "I don't want you to be sick."   
  
The girl sighed. "I don't want to be sick either," she answered. But she smiled immediately. "Hey, don't worry! We need to hurry up; we can't allow the general to wait for you!" She smiled evilly when Duo blushed brightly.  
  
"He is not waiting for me! I didn't even want to go!"  
  
"Oh, stop it. Everyone knows he is here only for you," the girl giggled teasingly. "And from the looks of it he isn't going to leave anytime soon."   
  
Duo looked at her, his eyes suddenly wide and vulnerable. "I know… and I'm afraid of that." He didn't say anything else and Hilde didn't ask. She learned that a long time ago – if Duo didn't want to say anything, he wouldn't.  
  
Sally returned, her arms full of neatly folded white linens. However, as she was walking through the door she tripped and landed on the floor, messing the neat load slightly, but managing to keep it off the floor for the most part. She looked up at the two healers with tears swelling in her blue eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry!" she cried.   
  
Duo smiled slightly. "It's all right sweetheart, don't cry," he said soothingly, walking over and collecting the small mount. He spread it on his bed and started to fold it again. "It would need to be refolded anyway," he remarked to the little novice, "so that it could fit more easily into my pack."  
  
"Really?" the girl asked tearfully.  
  
"Really," Duo answered, stroking her head lightly. When everything was packed, the trio left the cozy room and went out. Or at least Duo and Sally did; Hilde was rather firmly told to stay inside and help in the kitchen, which was the warmest room in the whole temple. She beamed and turned around, bringing her hand to her mouth immediately, just in time to hide a few droplets of blood that the cough brought up.   
  
The young healer, accompanied by the little girl, walked out into the bright sunlight, squinting as it enveloped him. Everything seemed to be ready, horses, men and packs. Even the great general was calmly leaning against a fence, a backpack at his feet.  
  
Heero smiled inwardly seeing the healer. He had changed from his usual long, white robe – he opted for a knee-length, light brown one instead. The general shouldered his backpack sneaking glances at Duo. He volunteered for the trip mostly to have something to do, since the palace life he was forced to lead was tiring and boring him. He hated the feeling of being useless. But now, life definitely took a turn for the better.

**TBC**

[1] Just in case someone got confused: in the first chapter Heero, when reminiscing, mentions that 'Kirei' was about sixteen, while he was twenty five. Now whips out her calculator one year they were together, then five years before they met again. Unless I'm mistaken (which is possible, as much I like math, I tend to mess the counting) that would mean that Duo is now twenty-two and Heero thirty-one. Voila!


	12. Smiling

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 11/?

Pairings: 1+2, mentioned past 1x2

Rating: R overall, although it probably doesn't deserve that much. This part in particular.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, fluff. WAFF

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^  
Notes: Even more progress!

Big thanks to Sundaire, for betaing this fic. bows  
  
***  
  
Even a bright, normal sunny day was always mysterious in the forest. The light didn't just shine there, it cleared through the delicate leaves from the upper parts of the trees caressing the ground with transparent, glowing pillars. The remains of snow, remains that would seem dirty in any other place, in the depths of the wood were like mirrors, reflecting the shine of the sun, adding elusiveness to the scenery.  
  
Duo closed his eyes briefly and inhaled deeply. There was nothing like the smell of fresh earth after a long winter – not that the winter didn't have its good sides – but he missed the green. There was only so much white a man could take. The group of men was moving steadily through the forest, marking their way and cutting the trees which they'd take on their way back.  
  
"We will rest here," said one of the men, the unofficial leader, roughly a week after they left the temple. They were standing in a small clearing, surrounded mostly by trees no older than four to five years.  
  
"We've been here before, five years ago. Probably a lightening bolt hit here, since the clearing was burned to the ground," Duo whispered in Heero's general direction. "We will go from here only a little further tomorrow, then we will be going back."   
  
The general nodded with half a smile. He had always found it rather amusing that people would never talk loudly in the forest. There was something in the air that made it uncomfortable, as if one was destroying something sacred.  
  
As if one was forcing a man, barely out of his childhood years, to become a pleasure slave. Heero stomped on the forest floor angrily. He would not think about that! It was not something he needed to remember now! Especially not since at night he was sleeping right next to the slender, long-haired healer. Well, 'right next to' in this case meant 'no closer than a meter.' Not that he would expect much more.  
  
Not when nights still haunted him with images of Kirei, lying helplessly beneath him on their bed. The bed the general ceased to think of as his own, ever since the beautiful elf spent his first night there. The images wouldn't leave his head, making him crazy with both desire and a feeling of hopelessness. But what was even worse was meeting Duo in bright sunlight, smiling, cheerful and full of life – seeing him and knowing that he couldn't reach far enough to grasp him.  
  
Heero set to work preparing his sleeping place for the night, all the while observing as Duo fumbled with the fire. As the healer, the men assumed he would know how to cook better than any of them, therefore his schedule for the day consisted of cooking and instructing the general. The last task especially brought a slight smile to Heero's lips. He learned to judge people based on what he saw, and the moments when Duo shed most of his clothing, save for a shirt, to take up an axe and try to explain just how it was similar to a fight... Those short moments when he could see Duo free of his mask, absorbed in a task that seemed to fill his whole word – those moments were what his days resolved around.   
  
"General!" he heard. Heero turned his head immediately. Sure enough, there was Duo, slightly annoyed at being ignored for a long moment.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I thought since you weren't exactly doing anything we might go with Mr. Tsubarov and help him with the trees he chose," Duo explained patiently.   
  
Heero blinked, surprised. His mind provided him with an image of a man carrying a rather big cauldron full of water for Duo, who hung it over a fire expertly and proceeded to make soup.  
  
"But I thought you were cooking?"   
  
The first day Duo was cooking Heero felt inclined to kill somebody. Preferably all of his companions. He was asked to tend to the horses and when he came back all of the men (twenty in total) were sitting around Duo, drooling. Almost. It took him a moment to realize that they were not drooling at Duo but at the delicious smells coming from the cauldron the healer was working at. Although it was only when Duo turned around and immediately looked away with a dark blush gracing his features that Heero realized he was almost drooling too. He surprised himself with the realization that it was the smell of food that made his mouth water.  
  
"The stew should brew for an hour or so. Someone else can watch it for me," Duo said, shrugging carelessly.   
  
Heero sighed but got up, brushing twigs from his breeches. "Lead on then," the general said, feigning resignation, smirking when Duo's eyes sparkled when he recognized the taunt for what it really was.  
  
"I was rather hoping you would refrain from putting up a fight, general," the healer replied. "If you'd be as kind as to follow me?"  
  
"With pleasure," Heero replied, bowing slightly and moving to follow. His eyes traveled unbidden to Duo's lower regions, making the statement more and more true with every passing second.  
  
Duo started to itch. He sighed wearily – it could only mean one thing.   
  
"Could you please stop staring at my back, general? It's unnerving."   
  
Heero was sorely tempted to correct the healer, but decided not to after all.  
  
"As you wish," he replied, speeding up so that he could walk side by side with the healer. He could hear one of the younger man snicker at their exchange, and for once being snickered at didn't bother him. It gave him a warm, happy feeling, to know that Duo was blushing because he was associated with him so easily. They walked for a few minutes until they reached their chosen trees.  
  
It was a cluster Heero wouldn't have given a second thought about normally. In his humble opinion, trees were tall things, brown at the bottom, green at the top, splendid for fires and aiming practices. Usually they came in packs, which in turn were good for making camps. But he knew these trees were important for something, so he calmly accepted the axe he was handed and concentrated on his work. Since he still could not be called an expert axeman, in no time at all he was soaked with sweat. 'And here I was thinking my form was good,' he thought to himself, swinging the huge axe in a horizontal arch to the tree's base. He noticed from the corner of his eye that Duo was standing not too far away with his own (considerably smaller) axe, working calmly while beads of sweat similar to those on Heero's face ran down his face and chest, making his shirt stick to his skin. The general looked away. 'Not a good idea to watch him like that,' he thought wryly. 'Not a good idea at all.'  
  
His reverie was broken by a sharp cry. He noticed Duo immediately dropped his axe and rushed to one of the lumbermen who was lying on the forest floor, his leg trapped under a heavy branch.  
  
"Move this branch," Duo commanded softly, kneeling next to the injured man, making sure nothing would be damaged. "Slowly." Heero moved forward, along with another man to move the piece of wood. It wasn't too heavy – one man probably could have managed it, but when it fell like that… "We have to move away from the trees," Duo said, looking up. "Walker should be okay. His right leg is broken, but it's nothing major," he added, seeing the dubious look on the men's faces.  
  
"He looks awfully pale to me," Tsubarov said, more to wear the shock of the accident off, not to doubt the healer's opinion.  
  
"A huge piece of wood fell on his legs, how calming can that be," Duo replied, somewhat amused. The older man's cheeks reddened slightly, which was truly amusing, since his skin was bronzed after countless days spent working in the sun. Walker moaned on the ground. "Let's move him," the healer said firmly this time. One of the men shed his cloak, which served as a stretcher to carry the injured lumberman to the camp. Duo immediately ordered to lay the man close to the fire and unpacked his bag. He made sure the bone was set correctly before wrapping it tightly adding a piece of wood in between layers to make sure it would heal straight. He laid his palm on the man's forehead.  
  
"He has a slight fever," he announced, frowning. That meant that the man was ill. It wasn't really surprising, since at this time of the year people were prone to falling ill. Add to it sleeping on the ground with almost no chance of warming up properly for a few days, and a sickness was almost inevitable. The only good thing about the situation was that now the man would probably heal, since he would have to be kept warm. "Well, I'm afraid he will not be working anymore," the healer announced finally.   
  
Tsubarov frowned. "Well, in this case we will not be moving tomorrow. You shall stay here with Walker," he said to the healer, making the statement sound half like a question, half like an order. Duo nodded. The man turned to his companions. "After supper we will go and finish with the trees we were working on. From now on we'll have to bring trees here right after cutting them." The group murmured softly in consent.   
  
Heero sat down next to Duo. "This obviously isn't a good year," he remarked.  
  
"But you are here," Duo answered absentmindedly. Heero blinked in shock. Then he grinned insanely, like he had never grinned before. Meanwhile, Duo's subconscious replayed his answer to him. "That's **not** what I meant!" he cried quickly. Heero blinked once again, this time slightly hurt. "I mean…," Duo paused. He glanced at the general, who looked away, his head hung dejectedly. He didn't look crestfallen, but Duo could tell what people were feeling. And he spent nearly a year in the man's company, even if he spent most of the time trying to ignore him. The healer sighed softly and laid a hand on the general's shoulder tenderly. "Heero…"  
  
"I understand," the man said. He looked at his companion stonily. And then, suddenly, he smirked. "But I am still here," he said, nearing his face to Duo's. "And I will not leave." His breath flew lightly against the healer's cheek. Duo shuddered. But before he could tell the man to leave he withdrew, getting up and standing in line with a bowl.  
  
The healer tried to concentrate. His cheeks flamed. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, and then he remembered the food. But before he could get up or call for anybody, a bowl of steaming stew was thrust before his eyes. He looked up, surprised. Sure enough, it was Heero.  
  
"Thank you," Duo whispered, taking the dish. He turned around and helped Walker sit up, so that the man could eat. He felt slightly guilty. He knew that Heero probably brought the food for him, not for Walker, but his duties had to come first. But even knowing his duties didn't stop the guilt. He hated being rude to people. Especially to people who tried their best to be nice to him.  
  
However, as soon as he finished with helping his charge, another bowl was thrust under his nose. Duo looked into Heero's eyes, surprised yet again. Heero raised a brow.  
  
"You thought I wouldn't have realized?" he said with a slight smirk. He was rather pleased with himself. But that feeling dissipated, replaced by wonder, as soon as Duo's face rose and their eyes met.  
  
The sweetest smile he had ever seen was curving the healer's mouth, making his eyes sparkle. 'That one smile,' Heero thought, 'Is well worth those past four months.' He smiled in return.  
  
Duo, after making sure the injured man would sleep peacefully through the night, retired himself. He noted with not a small amount of surprise that his blankets were already carefully spread on the ground. He looked up and smiled at the general, who offered an almost shy answering smile in return.  
  
"Thank you Heero," the healer said softly, laying down. It was alarming how easy it was now to smile at the man.

***TBC***


	13. Dreaming

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 12/?

Pairings: 1+2, mentioned past not-exactly-consensual-sex

Rating: R overall, for no apparent reason.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, fluff. WAFF

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^  
Notes: Not much this time – thanks to everybody who reviewed. ^___^ I was jumping up and down after each and every review. I hope I managed to get back to everybody (who provided an e-mail, at least), and if not, thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. 

Special Message To Suzzette: I'm afraid there will be no Relena-bashing. She will be making an appearance later, but she will be nice and well-loved. Buuut, Quatre is taking over the bashing department, largely.

Big thanks to Sundaire, for betaing this fic. bows

***

Years of waking up minutes before sunrise take their toll, but surprisingly it wasn't the sunrise that woke Duo. The chestnut-haired healer shot up, as if bitten by a bug, panting slightly – he was pale and shaking. His eyes opened abruptly and the first thing he was aware of was, ironically, the great general. The healer gulped nervously when he realized he had inadvertently turned around in his sleep, so that he was now facing the man.   
  
It had been so long since he last had that dream. Even with Heero's constant presence over the past months, those dreams had rarely come. Actually, not once for the past thirty days. Duo forced himself not to think about it, but the harder he tried, the harder it turned out to be. Even more so when he looked at the general.  
  
Heero's expression was relaxed and unguarded; his lips were curled in a half smile, which on the usually stern general looked positively dashing. His dark hair, usually shading his dark eyes, now hung handsomely on his forehead, allowing the rest of the general's face to be seen. His chest rose and fell with gentle breaths. When the healer's eyes fell on Heero's calloused hands, however, Duo had to suppress a violent shiver.  
  
He remembered those hands from his dreams. What was worse, he remembered them from reality as well. They held his wrists in a steel grip above his head, sliding his robe down his body, slipping under the warm cloth. They caressed his pale skin, making his body shiver in desire, making his body forget what **he** wanted, making it follow its primal urges. The hands were followed by warm lips and tongue once the violet-eyed man was too far gone to try and break free. He never could resist for too long. All the lessons in self-control he took as a child became nothing – he couldn't fight once the passion in his veins awoke. He couldn't even stop it from waking. His body would always win in the end, no matter how much he might have wanted it not to.  
  
Perhaps that was why he hated it that much. As irrational as it sounded, Duo felt that by disallowing it physical fulfilment, he could somehow get back at it for betraying him to the general. It was a ridiculous frame of mind, especially since as a healer he was perfectly aware that some instincts are stronger than the mind, in teenaged boys above all. Like the one that demanded release once the body was stimulated. However, the dreams, when they came, never failed to bring a tear of frustration to his eyes. Not that the tear would be obvious to anyone, but it was there, Duo knew. Nonetheless, he was too proud to allow himself to cry, ever. No one, save for his beloved brother, had ever seen his tears.   
  
This night wasn't particularly bad. It was just much more vivid than usual, perhaps because the man he dreamt about was so near. It was also painfully obvious that he wanted to get him back into his bed, which Duo was rather determined to prevent. At the same time, however, the healer started to realize that the general was intelligent and well-versed, something he tried hard not to notice five years ago. The latter was one of the few things Duo solely missed at the temple. Of course, all of the healers were intelligent and educated, but he was the only one educated in such a broad range of subjects, which basically meant that there was only a limited number of topics he could discuss with others, save for healing matters. Heero was swiftly becoming an irreplaceable companion.  
  
And yet the reason he felt so disturbed seemed to be different. It was the usual dream alright, but it was almost as if something had changed. Duo couldn't pinpoint the feeling exactly, but he knew something was different from usual. He decided to stop bothering for a while and get up.  
  
Soon after he finished his early morning exercises the rest of the camp came to life. A fire was lit so that everyone could work off the early morning chill before leaving. Heero seemed a little irritated to be woken up so early, and he didn't appear exactly there when the party prepared to set off. He kept yawning, as if to mark his displeasure, but to his credit, he made the effort to be courteous to everyone. Duo watched him with a small amount of amusement when he went to see if the horses were ready after packing stuff he thought he might need during the day; his walk that of a practiced somnambulist. The healer very carefully avoided any contact with the general this morning (save for eye contact), fearing that his own reaction to **any** touch, even a casual brush, might result in a serious injury.  
  
"Everyone set? Then let's go," Tsubarov exclaimed finally. The violet-eyed healer watched the group leave the clearing one by one, taking the horses with them. The last one to leave was the general, who stood still for a brief moment looking at Duo. The man looked up from his spot beside the injured and smiled tentatively in return.  
  
'It was just a dream,' he told himself. 'Just a dream…' Unfortunately, dreams are not something that can be just pushed out of mind for an indefinite amount of time. They come back again and again during the most inappropriate moments. The very same holds true for unwanted thoughts and images – the more they're pushed away the more vengeful they become upon their return. For the longest time what disturbed him most about the dreams was the fact that he didn't find the situations unpleasant at all. In fact, more than once the images under his eyelids were more arousing than terrifying. They usually treaded the fine line between pleasing and frightening, managing to stay within the 'emotionally painful' category most of the time.  
  
'And here I was thinking I finally left my pride behind,' Duo thought humourlessly.  
  
The violet-eyed healer sighed. He knew that dreams of this kind didn't just go away. He pondered just how, in the present circumstances, he could get rid of them, and suddenly a brilliant idea occurred to him. He shot a thoughtful glance at Walker.  
  
"Would you be all right if I left you alone for a short while?" Duo asked.  
  
***  
  
Heero walked through the forest staring at everything he passed wide-eyed. He had no idea it was actually that beautiful in there! Five minutes before, if he was asked what the woods looked like, his answer would surely contain 'violet' and 'chestnut.' That was not to say that he didn't pay attention to his surroundings – he could find his way to the temple with ease, if needed. He might not be able to recall what shape or colour the tentative first flowers were, but that wasn't essential, was it?  
  
Without the company of the slender healer Heero was able to immerse himself in his work fully. It was only when Tsubarov called for a break that he realized he completely forgot to pack some lunch with him. He groaned silently. This wasn't good. A whole day of swinging an axe was tiring – even to a soldier like himself. With any luck he'd be able to make it to the camp on his own feet. He swore silently, picking up his pack to fish out his sweat cloth.  
  
There was something foreign in the bag. Heero reached inside carefully and pulled out a small, neat package, wrapped in white linen. Wiping his face on his cloth, the general carefully unravelled the pack.  
  
Inside laid two chucks of bread and some dried meat. It took the great tactician a whole two minutes of staring before he figured out what a pack of food was doing in his bag. He did eventually; after all, the options were rather limited.  
  
"Thank you, Duo," he muttered to himself softly. He smiled, chewing the bread thoughtfully. Mission Progress: Satisfying.  
  
The rest of the day wasn't as eventful for Heero. It involved a lot of axe-swinging and tree-roping – nothing that could effectively steer the man's mind away from the braided healer. It was confusing, the way they interacted most of the time. They talked a lot recently, but every time the general tried to steer the conversation onto something more personal the healer would either change the topic or leave. Of course, Heero wasn't the greatest diplomat in the world, but he knew a dodge when he saw one.   
  
Heero worked off his frustrations on the innocent tree he'd been told to cut.  
  
***  
  
It was nearing sunset when the group of men returned to their camp, the horses dragging the fallen trees behind them. They were greeted by mouth-watering smells coming from the cauldron hung by the fire.  
  
In Heero's case, it was a mouth-watering vision of Duo with his long hair down, which was bound only by a thin black ribbon. It was enough to leave him staring, dumbfounded. The long strands were glittering, even in the half-light, almost as if light was attracted to the chestnut head. Heero definitely was.  
  
Duo hummed to himself while stirring the contents of the cauldron. Thank heavens for springs, he thought. There was nothing like a good – even if freezing – bath to get rid of the day's tension. Or night's, in some cases. Besides, he hated the feeling of his hair being dirty. It made him feel as if someone had poured a bucket of grease over him. Of course, because his hair needed to be washed frequently it meant he had to put up with a loose flowing cloud behind his back for a longer time (very bothersome during hot days), but he got used to it. Duo absentmindedly checked if his hair was dry enough to be braided yet, watching the steam flow from the cauldron leisurely.  
  
He was rudely woken from his daydream when he suddenly found himself surrounded by twenty drooling men, each holding a wooden dish virtually in his face. He bit back a smirk and started filling the bowls, one by one. In the end, he filled Walker's dish and made sure that the man was comfortable enough to eat.  
  
"When did you learn how to cook?" the healer heard suddenly when he was helping himself to the stew. He turned quickly and sure enough, there was Heero, watching him like a hawk. Strangely enough, not like a half-starved hawk. Duo put a tiny smile on his lips.  
  
"It is compulsory for healers," he answered.  
  
"Cooking?"  
  
"Well, no, brewing is more like it, but they are rather similar. I mean, the rules are virtually the same: you see what you have and you need to know how long it needs to be cooked to produce certain effects."   
  
Heero shot a dubious look at his bowl. "And what effect would this… concoction have?"  
  
"Oh, that depends," Duo answered cheerfully. "If you eat an apple afterwards you might get indigestion. If you eat a tomato, you might get a rash." He watched Heero swallow another mouthful. "Theoretically speaking it should be harmless."  
  
"Theoretically?" 

"Well, you never know what the rabbit might have swallowed before it was killed," Duo answered, chewing a piece of meat thoughtfully. "Some of the healers believe that a body killed in a violent manner produces a poison, which makes it dangerous to eat, as opposed to the common misunderstanding that animals, unlike humans, do not suffer when they are killed." The general stared. The question 'How would you know if people suffer' froze on his lips as Duo continued. "I'm a healer, Heero, not a priest," he said calmly. "I know how to kill."  
  
The general continued to look at his companion incredulously. It was rather hard to wrap his mind around the idea. Heero tried to picture the man with a bloody sword on a battlefield, but had no such luck. The image just didn't work. Maybe, just maybe, he could imagine Duo practicing a routine with a sword. But never killing.  
  
It wasn't what healers did, was it?

***TBC***


	14. Arrivals

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 13/?

Pairings: 1+2, mentioned past 1x2

Rating: R, which it doesn't deserve probably. But just to be safe, it will stay.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, past slavery. Mild pilots bashing.

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line. ^_^  
Notes: Ah, the unlucky 13th part… 

***

True to Duo's prediction, Heero was faced with an entirely different world when the party emerged from the forest. He arrived first on the verge of autumn, when all was golden and red. He had seen it become fluffy white with snow covering every tiny bit of land. He had never seen it green.  
  
Well, he wouldn't for a couple more weeks, since the early spring was usually more brown than green, but the hints were already showing. All of the snow was gone and flowers started to grow on the plains, bringing more colour to the surroundings.  
  
There was no real reason for Heero to stay in the temple, so reluctantly he said his good-byes and went back to the palace he started to regard as his own recently. Thankfully, he left Wing at the temple's stables, so the journey passed quickly. When he arrived, Heero all but threw the reins to Tom, ordering the boy to care for the animal. He then walked a few steps up and entered the castle. Almost immediately he started to realize that staying at the temple would not have done him any good – he was deadly tired. He ordered a bath drawn, preferably hot (which, of course, he would have denied to the last moment) – his joints were not having a field day. Fortunately for him, Sanq was rather famous for its baths… conveniently borrowed from the Eastern region, naturally. That allowed Heero to walk in no time at all into a spacious room, full of incense-smelling steam, and relax in a small pool of hot water.  
  
"I'm getting to old for these kinds of excursions," the great general moaned internally, submerging himself in the hot tub. Regardless of age, two weeks of sleeping on a cold ground with nothing but a blanket to warm up with would do that to a person.  
  
Heero's mind automatically brought up an image of Duo, trying to decipher all of the messages he might have been projecting. It took up most of his past time these days and the results didn't make much sense at first. After all, Duo pushed him away time and time again, but as Heero was about to retreat for the moment, unexpectedly, the healer would look at him with his shining violet eyes that simply cried 'don't leave me.' The general didn't know what to think. He had learned to read body language and silent messages – a great general could not rely on his advisors all of the time when dealing with emissaries from an opposing army – but none had ever been this conflicting. True, he rarely had any personal contact with any of the messengers before, but no matter where you went people were more or less the same.  
  
Heero groaned and sunk deeper under the water. He rested his head against the till and closed his eyes briefly. He knew he was being stubborn. Probably irrational too. But he wouldn't change his mind. It's not like he could, anyway.  
  
It would help if the bathroom didn't look almost exactly like the one he used in the Sanq Palace. Kirei belonged in the surroundings. With lids dropping over his eyes, Heero could swear that he could see another person with long, chestnut tresses flowing in the bathtub with him, and as his senses dimmed, a breath away from falling asleep, the man almost felt the silky touch of hair on his skin.  
  
***  
  
The spring days didn't pass as quickly as winter had. There was more work to be done both in the houses and out on the fields, so Heero, to prevent himself from getting too bored and too desperate, sought out ways in which he could help. Of course, his place of choice would always be the temple, but he found that he rather enjoyed working in the field, any field in fact. Something about moving the fresh ground appealed to him. Not surprisingly, Heero was quite delighted when the palace gardener asked for a temporary leave of absence – he was a relative of Walker's and was needed more at their family house. The great general, to the utmost surprise of almost everyone, took over the gardening duties himself.   
  
Duo still came by to teach the palace children, and if the weather was good enough the lessons would take place in the gardens, right under Heero's watchful eye. That, of course, would give Heero a perfect excuse to stare at the man, to listen to him speak excitedly, to watch him bring life to some old, half-forgotten bit of history. Not many things satisfied him more recently.  
  
It came as a small shock to Heero that the palace gardener and the healers responsible for the temple's gardens kept a close relationship. Apparently, the world-wide rules of gardening made them keep close tabs on each other's accomplishments, sharing when necessary. As much as the general enjoyed planting anything, he would be the first to admit that he wasn't exactly the world's greatest expert when it came to flowers or any other greenery. So, he struck a deal with the temple's gardeners – one of them would drop by twice a week to give him pointers about what was swiftly becoming his pride and joy; in return he would manage the heavy jobs like moving barrels of dirt in the temple's plots. **Coincidentally** that allowed Heero to visit the violet eyed healer twice a week, not counting Saturday, when he would arrive at the palace to teach the children. Heero rather enjoyed coincidences.  
  
***  
  
For some reason he couldn't exactly fathom, Heero didn't trust sunny days. There was something in the air that made them seem like a prelude to a tragedy. Considering that the only tragedy that might occur right now would most likely involve Duo, the general would gladly have the other man confined to his room, just in case. It might have been that most of the unpleasant incidents in his life have happened on sunny days, but then again, so many of them had passed without the slightest unpleasantness to them… But better safe than sorry, Heero liked to think.  
  
There wasn't really much he could do except hover around the violet-eyed healer constantly. Which was exactly what he chose to do: it was the end of the week, which meant the Duo was at the castle for the better part of a day, occupying the children's time. Heero sat back comfortably, leaning against a tree trunk, and listened as the healer patiently guided the small group around him through the ancient legend of Sanq's founding. Just as he was getting to the bit when the king-to-be was about to claim the throne, sounds that only multiple horse's hooves thundering on stone can make could be heard.  
  
Years spent as the great general taught Heero one thing – when a herd of horses appears somewhere unexpectedly, it's time to hide everything precious and dig out the weapons. Getting up, he cursed silently when he remembered that his sword was up in his bedroom. 'Should have known better,' he thought, glaring at the cloudless sky.  
  
"Stay here," he commanded softly, looking at Duo and the kids. The healer was standing, while the children all tried to get as close to him as possible. There were many horses and a wagon. That meant many people.  
  
Heero moved stealthily through the narrow paths, stopping when he reached the wall of the palace. He cautiously peeked around it, immediately gauging the distance between himself and the entrance, as well as the number of newcomers. When his mind finally chose to register the newcomers, he didn't know whether to sigh in relief or curse. Before he could do either, he felt a source of warmth behind his back. Heero turned his head slightly.  
  
"I sent the kids inside. There are places to hide in the basement, their parents surely know," he heard the healer speak, barely making any sound.  
  
"No, it's fine," the general answered normally. "It's… the princess and her entourage." He watched as Duo's brow shot up.  
  
"The 'I want to marry the general' princess? I guess someone finally told her where you hid," he said with some amusement. Heero opened his mouth to protest, but Duo interrupted him. "Well, I guess the lessons are over for today. I'll be going home." Once again the general tried to protest, but everything he might have wanted to say died in is throat when Duo's fingers touched his lips gently. "We both know that her 'entourage' and I do not get along. Visit me sometime later, would you?" Heero nodded mutely. The healer smiled softly and walked away, collecting his books, and left through the gardens.  
  
Heero stared for few more minutes, trying to still his rapidly beating heart. His hand clasped itself tightly around his mouth. He was so close… so very close…  
  
Shaking his head to get himself back under control, the general walked into the courtyard. Princess Relena and Lady Dorothy had just exited the carriage, while poor Mr. Annelli frantically looked around, waiting for the current lord of the house. There was only so much he could do without his approval. Heero sighed seeing Quatre, Wufei and Trowa. They were his best friends and he loved them to pieces, but right now, he could have done without them. But since they were here, they deserved proper welcoming.  
  
"I wasn't expecting you," were the great general's first words after almost half a year of not seeing his closest friends.  
  
"Still as welcoming as ever, I see?" Wufei smirked. Heero nodded accepting a hug from Quatre gratefully.  
  
"Please have chambers prepared for my guests. Five rooms would accommodate everyone, I assume," the blue-eyed general called to the major-domo, surveying the crowd. The elderly servant bowed quickly and rushed in order to fulfil the requests of his superior. "I am glad you came. Your highness. Milady," he added politely, bowing slightly.  
  
"We are happy our arrival **thrilled** you so, general," Lady Dorothy smirked, moving to stand by her husband. Trowa immediately offered his arm. Heero smirked.  
  
"I am glad," was all he said. The princess smiled at him happily. "I wasn't expecting you, so it might take a moment until the chambers for all of you are prepared."  
  
"That is fine. For now all we need is a place to store our coffers. I believe that the living room is quite welcoming, as far as I remember. Unless you found it more fitting to have an armoury there, general," the girl smiled sweetly, while Heero tried to collect his wits. "Or perhaps greenery… judging from you clothes, a sword was the last thing on your mind recently." Indeed, Heero was wearing only a linen shirt and breeches, with a loose fitting woollen tunic to keep the chill at bay.  
  
"I found out that there are better ways to occupy my time rather than sword fights, your highness." The princess smiled once again. "If you don't mind, your highness, since I believe the purpose of your visit has nothing to do with the kingdom's welfare, I'd be honoured if you called me by my name," Heero bowed to kiss the girl's hand. Everybody has been telling him that the girl used to wait for him to propose, but since he disappeared suddenly for a couple of months for no apparent reason, he could assume that the king explained to his daughter that the proposal wouldn't happen.  
  
"Thank you, Heero. However, I would expect you to retaliate in kind."   
  
Heero nodded. "Of course," he answered, shooting a panicked glance at Wufei over the girl's shoulder. He nearly sagged to the floor with relief when his friend mouthed a name in return. "Lady Relena. I can assure you that no harm has befallen the living room. Shall we?" he asked, offering the young woman his arm. She accepted easily and allowed the man to direct her. During the short walk the rest of the group fell behind in order to direct the servants to deliver their baggage to the right chambers. Relena looked behind her and seeing no one she turned to Heero.  
  
"Lady Dorothy and I have been hoping that we may meet Duo Maxwell here," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.   
  
Heero blinked, astonished. "That… may be arranged," he answered equally soft. His voice however told something quite different.  
  
"Oh, do not worry, Heero. You may not have noticed, but both Lady Dorothy and I have come to like him." Heero blinked yet again. This was unexpected. When have they talked? How had he missed it? "Truthfully, we were expecting to meet him **here**."   
  
"Are you trying to play matchmaker, Milady?" the man asked incredulously.  
  
"Well, a princess needs a way to spend her time. Considering that my only prospective husband has disappeared, seemingly forever and for no apparent reason, I needed to find a way to amuse myself." Heero shook his head. The way a woman's mind worked… Having reached a door, he held it open for the princess and his guests, who just managed to catch up, to enter, before calling for refreshments.   
  
A few hours later, once everyone retired to their rooms, Heero laid on his bed, thinking. Funny that he never noticed the princess before. She was as witty as Duo and almost as intelligent. No surprise, since she was, after all, the only daughter of his Majesty, king Milliardo Peacecraft.  
  
As he as falling asleep his thoughts strayed from his king, however. Heero pondered once again the short moment in the gardens… when Duo belonged to him only… when he followed him into what might have been a threat to both their lives.

***TBC***


	15. Introducing

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 14/?

Pairings: 12, minor others: 3xD (don't ask), 13x11

Rating: R, which it doesn't deserve probably. But just to be safe, it will stay.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, past slavery. Mild pilots bashing.

Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line.  
Notes: Sundaire mentioned that for her Dorothy comes together with an image of leather and whip. I say, it's the power of all blondes: they have the most evil ideas. And the one to suffer is a silent, stoic mate, whose main purpose is to withstand the temper tantrums. Or another, with an equally hot temper.

Many thanks to Sundaire, for betaing this fic. The author is very grateful.

* * *

Duo sighed heavily, staring at the distant forest, his chin resting on his folded arms. The world just wasn't fair. Just when he was getting used to seeing Heero everyday, his friends had come and taken his undivided attention. Of course, the thought itself was not fair either; after all they had been friends of Heero for ages. Still, since he didn't particularly like them, he decided that some complaining wouldn't hurt. It wasn't like he owed them any respect anyway. Also, such visits couldn't last forever; they were all important people, surely they had duties at court? It had already been two weeks since they had come, so they shouldn't stay for longer than a month. He hoped.  
  
"Duo?" he heard a tentative voice. "Is something wrong?" The healer ran his hand through his hair, sighing.  
  
"No, more or less. I'm just… thinking," he answered without turning his head. His eyes followed the gentle swaying of the leaves, allowing the movement to calm him. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, allowing the smell of fresh flowers and warm earth to fill his senses.  
  
"You know that if you ever have to talk with someone…?" the girl offered quietly, trying to offer some help.   
  
"I know Hilde. I remember," Duo smiled slightly and pushed himself away from the window finally, but as soon as his eyes fell on his friend he frowned. "Hilde, you look awfully. Are you sure you're eating well?"  
  
"You should know best, you've been force-feeding me for the last month! But yes, I am sure I'm eating well. I don't know why I'm thinning so," the black-haired girl replied, slightly exasperated. She gazed at her palms, frowning. She remembered being jealous of Duo's hands – along with every other woman at the temple. Most of them, even those of noble blood like herself, were born in the country, so their hands were browned by the sun and rough even in their youth. Duo's hands were white, smooth and elegant, like the hands of a princess from stories they all knew so well. But now her own palms were pale and delicate – and it was not the creamy whiteness of healthy, well-cared for skin. They seemed almost transparent. She could trace every tiny vein with her gaze…  
  
"There must be more than that. You're also getting paler and that cough is not getting any better, is it?" The voice of the violet eyed healer penetrated her thoughts, as he rubbed his temples wearily. He had his suspicions, but he dared not voice them. And even if he did… if they were correct…   
  
Any further discussion was stopped when Sally ran into the kitchen at top speed. That sight alone was enough to bring a smile to Duo's lips, no matter the circumstances. She was always so eager to help, always running from one place to another like a tiny bird, fluttering from one branch to another. He remembered when he himself was like that, never stopping, always skipping, jumping, bouncing and occasionally apologizing for his clumsiness and wheezing while trying to catch his breath, just like the honey-blonde girl was doing at the moment.  
  
"The general is here!" she announced finally. "He asked for you, healer." Duo raised a brow. He was being asked for. That didn't bode well. Nevertheless, he stood up and dusted his robe.  
  
"Lead the way, Sally," he gestured gallantly. The girl giggled. She liked the attention. Being a servant's daughter she was never groomed to be a lady per se – she was taught how a lady should behave, in case she ever was to be a handmaid. But she had never expected to be treated as a lady before. Of course, her age made it nearly impossible, but she still enjoyed the older healer's gracious bows and playful kisses on the hand. She beamed, twirling in place and virtually bouncing out of the door. The small group (Hilde chose to follow and since it was rather warm outside Duo agreed to it) made its way outside, allowing Sally to lead them to a carriage, which stopped a short distance away.  
  
Heero perked up when he noticed the small honey-blonde girl returning with Duo and Hilde. He knew that it might not have been the best of ideas, calling this particular healer, but he had the excuse of Duo being the only healer he knew personally. He knew that there was no way that the relations between Duo and Trowa wouldn't be strained, but he still couldn't help being excited about seeing the violet-eyed man.   
  
'Seems I'm not that bad at judging people's possible reactions,' he noted grimly when the healer and his friend inclined their heads in a polite but cold greeting. The atmosphere was tense.  
  
That is, until Relena exited the carriage.  
  
"Milord, I am glad to see you in good health," she beamed, curtsying. Duo raised a brow inquiringly, but returned the greeting all the same.  
  
"Your highness. It's a pleasure to meet you again," he answered with a bow. He raised his eyes noticing Heero standing next to the carriage. "General," he said rather formally. "Why was I called?" Heero almost winced. He cursed internally. They were past the 'general' stage already! But now there wasn't much he could do.  
  
"Lady Catalonia [1] isn't well. We were hoping you might help her," he answered almost miserably. It was so unusual, that not only his friends but even the long-haired healer had to raise a brow. Misery was not something one heard from the great general very often.  
  
"Wouldn't the Lady be more comfortable with a female healer tending to her?" Heero opened his mouth to answer, but swiftly closed it again. Of course he knew that. But he didn't know any female healers. That and he hadn't seen Duo for two long weeks. "The Lady is with you, I trust?" the healer continued without waiting for an answer – he could figure what was going on in the general's head.  
  
"Of course," Dorothy Catalonia answered, finally stepping out of the carriage. She stepped to the ground assisted by her husband and smoothed the creases on her dark grey dress. "And I am feeling quite fine," she added. The healer and the older novice looked at her taxingly, purely out of habit. She did look healthy – in fact they couldn't see anything that would hint otherwise.  
  
"Naturally," Duo smiled brightly. "I am sure you do. But if you'd only be kind enough to accompany me to the temple?" The woman's eyes narrowed dangerously.  
  
"That was a lame attempt at persuasion; I hope you are aware of this," she said furrowing her brows.  
  
"It would be an insult to your intellect, milady, to call that persuasion. It was an invitation," the healer replied.  
  
"In this case I will accept," the woman answered. She tugged at Trowa's arm lightly. "Let me go please." The brown-haired man did as he was told, keeping a stern gaze on the violet-eyed healer all the while. Duo met his eyes evenly, taking the Lady's arm. He assisted her all the way to the temple while the princess, Hilde and Sally followed.  
  
Heero stared after the shining white figure of the healer miserably. Why was Duo being so cold again?  
  
"Heero," he heard Trowa's voice interrupt his musings. "Are you still pursuing him?" The general looked at the man somewhat surprised.   
  
"Yes," he answered curtly, turning his head. He heard the other man sigh.  
  
"Then I guess we should offer him our apologies," Trowa muttered to himself. Heero raised a brow. That was unexpected.  
  
"I am not going to get another 'He was your slave' speech?"  
  
"Anything that manages to capture your attention for longer than a month is probably worth keeping," the green-eyed man shrugged. He looked at the greyish building, just as his wife disappeared inside. "Anything that manages to hold your attention, no matter how many times you look at it, is worth keeping," he added with a slight quirk to his lips. Heero followed his gaze.  
  
"Did you consult that answer with Quatre?" he asked.  
  
"No. Dorothy made me reconsider. But don't worry about Quatre – you know he just hates being proved wrong. As kind as he normally is, Ki… Lord Maxwell did manage to infuriate him." That rose Heero's shackles.  
  
"He didn't do anything wrong!"  
  
"He hurt you. You know how that affects Quatre." The great general hesitated.  
  
"I suppose you're right," he sighed finally. "So… are you willing to give him a chance?"  
  
"Look at my wife and ask me that question again," this time a smirk made its way to the green-eyed general's lips.  
  
"Good point," Heero chuckled. "Let's go to check up on your wife then." Trowa nodded and followed Heero to the temple's doors. They were opened wide, so they walked in quietly, almost immediately spying the long haired man who was talking with the princess outside some door. The other healer, the girl with black hair, had disappeared. The healer and the Lady both turned their heads in the direction of the entering men.  
  
"Is there something wrong, lords?"  
  
"No, nothing is wrong," Trowa answered before Heero could utter a word. "I wanted to offer my apologies," he continued. "Our past treatment of you was unjust and improper. I wish to make amends," the man concluded bowing respectfully. Duo stared at the man flabbergasted.  
  
"Thank you," he answered quietly after a while. "I accept you apology." Trowa offered half a smile, but he had no illusions – if there was any hope of them being friends, it would take years to blossom. Still, the apology did lighten the mood enough to allow a polite conversation, which managed to last until Lady Dorothy emerged from the room, followed by a stern-looking matron.  
  
"Healer," Lord Barton bowed to the elderly woman, taking hold of his wife's hand. "Is everything all right?"  
  
"I would expect so," she answered kindly, a smile gracing her features. "I dare-say you may expect you heir in half a year," she said, her warm eyes sparkling. The green-eyed man blinked.  
  
"Pardon me?"  
  
"A child, milord. Your wife is with a child." Dorothy smirked. The news was sudden, but not unexpected. For her at least – she feared that Trowa might be stunned for a couple more days. He shared Heero's views as far as children went, which meant he preferred to be as far away from them as possible. Such attitude would only last until he held his newborn in his arms, she had seen it happen enough times at court. After all, if the petite blue-eyed blonde was any indication, Heero was getting over his phobia without fathering any offspring himself. She supposed it had something to do with Duo, at some level, especially since most of the recent changes in the general were triggered by his decision to stay by the violet-eyed man.  
  
"Congratulations Dorothy!" Relena said excitedly, in a manner rather unbecoming of a princess. Duo glanced at her half-amused.  
  
"Your Highness, you're bouncing," he noted dryly. The princess immediately stopped and blushed. Heero smiled to himself lightly. It was good to hear the amusement in Duo's teasing tone – he hoped that meant the melted ice hasn't frozen again. It gave him hope.  
  
"Well, it's not everyday my best friend finds herself pregnant, is it?" the princess said, trying to sound innocent and anxious at the same time.  
  
"I would be concerned if this was the case," the healer replied, a small smile on his face. The group bid the elderly healer goodbye and made its way outside, into the warm sun. Heero took a deep breath as the wind ruffled his hair. They were making their way back to the carriage, when suddenly he noticed another carriage, accompanied by a group of servants. He stopped. The man on the steps looked oddly familiar, but he couldn't quite place it…  
  
"Treize!" the general heard a joyous exclamation. Yes, that was it. The man's name was Treize Khusherenada. He looked to the side, surprised and probably a little hurt to see the violet eyes lit up with joy and wonder. He wanted that expression directed at himself. He wanted it to be for him, and him alone. Heero tried to say something, but the healer was already running across the plains to the other carriage, falling into the man's arms. Heero dimly heard a cheerful "What are you doing here?" before the princess took his arm and forcefully pulled the general to the guests' carriage.  
  
"Good morning milord," she said, falling easily into the pattern drilled into her since birth – a kind, royal host. "It is a great surprise to meet you here, rather than at court." The tall man smiled kindly at her, releasing Duo and backing a few steps to assist his wife while stepping out of the carriage.  
  
"Indeed, your highness. We were intending to come a bit later, but it turned out that the time that can be spared for visits occurred now rather than later. We sent letters, but as I see they haven't reached in time," he explained. Then he paused. "Please excuse my manners. I am Treize Khusherenada of Albion," he said to Dorothy and Trowa, continuing the introduction for everyone else. "This is my wife, Lady Une [2], her son, Otto Maxwell and my daughter, Mariemaia." He indicated the two curious children, about Sally's age, who managed to latch themselves onto Duo in the meantime. "Milady," Treize addressed his wife, "this is her Highness, Crown Princess of Sanq, Relena Peacecraft, Lady Dorothy Barton, her husband Lord Trowa Barton and last but not least, the great general of Sanq, Heero Yuy."  
  
There were many things Heero was always prepared for, but having warm, chocolate-brown eyes suddenly go ice-cold on him was not one of them. He felt cold sweat trickle down his back as the sister-in-law of his precious healer stared at him with something akin to contempt on her otherwise pretty face. The expression vanished almost as soon as it appeared, but the cold feeling remained. 'It looks like winning Duo's favour should be the least of my worries just now,' he thought wryly, glad that at least his sense of humour was in place.  
  
TBC  
  
[1] Technically speaking that should be 'Lady Barton,' but I suppose that as a noble she would have a right to retain her old name and title. Since she was a Lady of Catalonia, I guess that may stay.   
  
[2] Does Une have a name, other than 'Lady'? If not – here 'Une' is her first name, not whatever it is in the show. Author's license, in case somebody asked.


	16. Confronting

Author: Keiran  
Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 15/?  
Pairings: 1plus2 (ff.net still doesn't accept plus symbol) main, minor 3xD, 4x5, past Solox11, 13x11.  
Rating: R, which it doesn't deserve probably. But just to be safe, it will stay.  
Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, past slavery. Mild Quatre bashing.  
Archive: my site: the URL is on my profile page. If you want it, drop me a line.

Many thanks to Sundaire, for betaing this fic. The author is very grateful.

* * *

'Now I finally know what it feels like to be a mouse,' the unbeatable great general of Sanq thought, soundlessly slipping through the corridors. Recently, he found himself in an interesting predicament. The princess of said country invited the nobles of Albion and their entourage to stay at what was technically her father's castle, thus making sure that they met Sanq aristocracy daily. Considering that a certain Albion Duchess had nothing but homicide on her mind every time she spotted Heero, the man wisely chose to stay out of the woman's sight most of the time. And, to make matters more interesting, it was just his luck that in her wisdom the Princess decided that it wouldn't be fitting to keep a family apart, especially since they saw each other seldom enough as it was.  
  
All in all, Duo was living at the palace, just a few doors down from Heero's room, and the general saw him only in passing during meal time. Every other time Lady Une was inching closer and closer to the weapons decorating the walls.  
  
As if the furious Lady wasn't enough, very soon it became obvious that not everyone was at peace with the arrangement. Quatre and Duo were avoiding each other almost as much as Heero tried to avoid the Lady of Albion. Wufei, surprisingly, chose to follow Trowa's example and offered his apologies to the braided healer; his lover vehemently refused to.   
  
Heero shook his head, exasperated. Who would have thought that the ever-diplomatic Quatre Winner could fight as heatedly against something as simple as an apology? Then again, as Trowa pointed out, the blond hated being proved wrong. He was truly devoted to his friends and Duo's independence hurt one of them, in a roundabout way. This wasn't something he could or would forgive easily.  
  
"Heero?" The general jumped and turned in midair. He came face to face with sparkling violet orbs in a laughing face. "Why so nervous?"  
  
"I thought it was your sister," the man grumbled in response. Duo chuckled lightly.  
  
"I didn't think a mere woman could make you so nervous. She's in her room, you have nothing to fear," he answered. "For now." Heero was about to respond when cheerful childish voices filled the corridor.  
  
"Uncle!" Both men turned their heads. Sure enough, it was Mariemaia and Otto, beaming at the healer expectantly. "We're ready now!"  
  
"Let us go then. Good-bye general." He waved and left, accompanied by two bouncing children. Heero's eyes followed the slender figure of the healer, for once dressed in something else than his ever present white robe. Apparently he owned some other clothes – he was wearing dark brown breaches, a white shirt and a dark blue tunic, tied at the throat. He also carried a long thin package, wrapped in some cloth. Heero squinted, trying to make out its exact shape. It looked like… But before he could identify the mysterious pack, Duo's head snapped to the side, glancing at him briefly. Their eyes met and Heero finally saw what he wanted to see for so long – the sparkle of true joy in the violet depths.  
  
Never mind that it originated from one of the children's questions. Duo still looked at **him**.  
  
Suddenly the general became aware of an incessant tapping on the wall by his head. He turned his head slightly and froze. Lady Une raised a brow.  
  
"So general. We are alone at last…," she smirked. The man suddenly realized just why women should never smirk. It made everything else, the flames of Hell included, looked safe and unthreatening.   
  
"Milady?" he tried tentatively. 'Where are chaperones when you need them?' he thought desperately.   
  
"I understand that you chose to continue harassing Lord Maxwell?" the woman asked calmly, opening the doors to a nearby sitting room. The superiority and the almost-outright insult made his hackles rise as he walked in through the door. The lady looked at him carefully, sitting on a recliner. She arranged her skirts neatly around herself.  
  
"With all due respect, milady, I am not harassing anyone, Lord Maxwell in particular," he said resolutely.   
  
"Indeed," Une stared at him, the evil smirk giving way to fury. "I have no desire to speak to you longer than I must, general, so listen and listen well. I want you too leave Duo alone. He does not need to have you haunting his every step while he tries to overcome his past ordeals. You will do that, or I will make you pay."  
  
"I am sorry, milady, but I will not," he answered firmly. "I cannot." The woman nearly jumped from her place, but since jumping is unbecoming of a lady, she held herself.  
  
"General, I am a resourceful woman. I am able to make you lose your reputation and your good name." Heero looked into her eyes, coldly. They stared at each other for a moment.  
  
"Tell me, milady, are you trying to comfort Duo or your own conscience, after you failed to protect him as I have no doubt his brother asked you to?" he hissed quietly. The lady stood up angrily. Heero heard rather than felt the mighty slap on his cheek. The woman's face was reddened with anger.  
  
"How dare you!"  
  
"It seems to me that you have never actually asked him what he thinks, did you. Allow him to make his own decisions, milady, he is old enough!"  
  
"What do you know about it!? He is still a child, he needs to be protected!" She sat down on the couch, spent.  
  
"Perhaps," Heero agreed. "But it might be not in the way you are thinking of." He stood up slowly. "Give me a chance, milady. If I wanted to do him any harm, I would have already done so. I certainly wouldn't have stayed here for as long as I have."  
  
"Just why should I trust you?" she exclaimed forcefully. The man paused. That was a good question. But he didn't have to think long before he figured out an answer.  
  
"He trusts me," he said simply. It was that simple. The lady fell silent letting out a whoosh of air.  
  
"I didn't want that," she stated. "You do not deserve his trust."  
  
"Perhaps," Heero agreed once again, almost against himself. He stared into space for a few moments, while Une glared at him furiously. "Milady, how did you learn?" The woman's brows furrowed. "I do not believe Duo told you," Heero finished.  
  
"It doesn't take a genius to figure out when your beautiful brother-in-law disappears for a year or so and a great general in some other country receives a slave whose looks are enough to make stories circulate that far," she said bitterly. "Duo doesn't lie, so when he refuses to talk about something, the answer usually means that yes, indeed something bad has happened to him," she got up gracefully and walked to the door. "His nightmares were an immense clue as well," she added, walking out.  
  
Heero sat in the chamber alone, barely breathing, for a longer time.

* * *

"…so mummy said I could have my own pony when we return!" Otto beamed at his uncle, obviously expecting his joy to be shared.  
  
"That's great!" the uncle obediently grinned. "Horse-riding is so much fun."  
  
"I'm going to have a pony too!" the little redhead piped in suddenly. "Daddy said I could have a white pony!"  
  
"White ponies are for weaklings!" Otto said, snorting. Duo was suddenly assaulted with an image of a seven-years-old Wufei and one of his potential rants. "My pony is going to be dark brown!" The little girl's brows furrowed.  
  
"I think white ponies are pretty," she said firmly, turning around. Duo tried to hold in his laughter.  
  
"Otto, being strong isn't about having a dark horse," he said firmly. "Your father had a white stallion as far as I remember."  
  
"Really?" The boy looked at him in wonder.  
  
"Hey, don't look at me like that, you should remember it yourself! Snowflake I think was its name." He watched as the boy's face scrunched up in thought.   
  
"I think I do remember…" he announced finally, slightly confused. "But daddy was a knight!"  
  
"Yes, he was," Duo answered wistfully. Then he remembered that he had kids to care for, so he brightened immediately. "Of course Snowflake was a present from the Queen, so that might have been the main factor deciding the color. And the name."  
  
"Snowflake doesn't sound like a battle cry," Mariemaia said. She looked in the faces of her companions and noticed their expressions of amused confusion. "I read somewhere that a horse should have a name that can be used as a battle cry – it said it brings good luck," she clarified.  
  
"I didn't know that…," Duo replied. The man and the two children stood in the middle of the gardens, designed to look like a clearing in a wood. Duo looked around. Spotting a bench, he walked over and carefully set the package he was carrying down. He slowly unwound the material and brought up a sword in a beautifully encrusted sheath. He smiled at the metal almost tenderly, caressing the handle. Both children's eyes grew big when as they watched the weapon.  
  
"It's so pretty…," the little girl said in awe. "Is that a bird?" Duo grinned in response.  
  
"It's called a phoenix. I'm sure you've heard stories about them, haven't you?" When he received nods he continued, "I've been told my mother asked for it to be made a little before I was born. Supposedly she had a feeling I'd be a boy."  
  
"But you were supposed to be a healer, even when you were a baby, weren't you, uncle?" Otto asked in confusion. "I thought healers didn't fight?"  
  
"That's because we do not usually have to fight. We are compelled to heal everyone that comes to us for help, so that basically means that any attempt to attack us would be a serious blow against one's own forces, wouldn't it?" he explained patiently. "Nevertheless, we are taught to use a weapon just in case. There are some stupid people all around the world," he finished with a small laugh. "And of course a sword is a traditional gift for a young lord," he added, smiling.  
  
"But it's so pretty! Do you really fight with it? Like, in a battle?" Mariemaia asked, clasping her palms together, looking at the steel with wonder.  
  
"Well, it is a real sword, just a little more decorated than most. I suppose it wouldn't be used in an actual battle, it's more for official duels and for show than anything," the healer said thoughtfully, caressing the silver feathers encrusted in the handle. They ensured that the blade fit perfectly in his palm. "But is the only one that I have," he paused briefly. "Now, are you ready, Otto?" he asked over his shoulder unsheathing the sword. The child nodded excitedly, withdrawing his own sword from its sheath and putting the cover right next to his uncle's. Mariemaia settled herself on the bench, her small feet dangling from the seat.  
  
Duo breathed in deeply. "Let's hope I still remember how to fence," he remarked, smiling slightly. Otto blinked, surprised. He seemed so crestfallen that Duo hastened to explain immediately: "Oh, I remember the moves all right; I am practicing often. It's just been long since I actually fought a real person," he paused. "Six or more years, actually…"  
  
"Why not?" Mariemaia piped in curiously.  
  
"There was no one I could fight," the healer answered simply. "I take it you've been taught the proper stance so far?" he asked turning to his nephew. The boy nodded excitedly. "Good. Fencing is actually quite simple: all the fancy moves come down to four basic steps: thrust, slash, block and par. Defense and offense." He demonstrated the movements gracefully.  
  
"You look like you're dancing!" Mariemaia clapped her hands. Duo smiled at her.  
  
"Well, it is a lot like dancing, until you get into a fight in which your life is at stake – then it's much less elegant." He straightened from his half-crouch and faced Otto. "First, you practice the movements. Don't think about getting them perfectly right – at this stage it is most important to learn how to keep balance. Try to move quickly," Duo instructed, sitting next to the little redhead, resting his own sword on his knees. He watched the little boy strive for some time, during which Duo only said things like 'keep your elbows higher,' 'mind the feet' or 'don't look down.'  
  
"That's enough," he said finally, standing up. He hefted his weapon carefully, reacquainting himself with the weight, before facing the boy. "We will start with defense – that roughly means that I'll stab you and you have to block my attacks." Otto nodded solemnly, taking a deep breath. He brought the sword in front of his face and concentrated. Duo nearly smiled – the scrunched face of a child was just too adorable. But he caught himself in time – he remembered Solo was oversensitive when it came to his pride and Otto seemed to share that sentiment, partially at least. With that in mind, Duo swung his blade carefully, preparing the child for the harsher blows that would follow.  
  
They continued their play for some time; Duo thrusting, Otto paring the blows, when Mariemaia suddenly rose from the bench and curtsied politely.  
  
"Good day to you, Lord Winner," Duo heard her say. He immediately stopped, his eyes scanning the clearing quickly. Indeed, Quatre Raberba Winner. And no one else.  
  
This could not be good.  
  
"So…" the blond started. "Fighting the children, I see?" Duo bristled inwardly. He did not like the tone. He did not like it at all. His mind was coming up with all sorts of snappy comebacks, when suddenly his eyes strayed to the thin sword the diplomat was carrying.  
  
"It is not easy to find an opponent that would offer me a challenge," he answered, still staring at the weapon suggestively. The children were looking between the two of them somewhat surprised. The healer noted with some pleasure that the clear blue eyes of the man narrowed into slits.  
  
"Then perhaps I might give you a chance to show your worth now?" Quatre asked, shedding his cloak and dropping it to the bench, along with the sheath of his sword. He walked confidently into the clearing and faced the healer.  
  
Wordlessly they crossed their swords, preparing for battle. 

TBC


	17. Reconciliation

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 16/?

Pairings: 1plus2, starts to be a liiiiitle 2plus1 too. Implied past 1x2; implied 4x5, 3xD, **very** past 4plus3 not necessarily romantic.

Rating: R overall, for no reason really.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, tiny bit of angst.

Archive: Gundam Wing Diaries, Cali0cat's Archive, my homepage. If you want it, drop me a line.   
Notes: I guess we won't be seeing Quatre much anymore, now that he's out of the way.   
  
Thank you Sundaire! – Sundaire devotes her time to check and correct my mistakes. Keiran heh-p-eeeh…

* * *

Otto and Mariemaia watched, fascinated, as the two men exchanged blows. They started off fairly moderate, but the movements quickly gained speed and force as they learned what their opponent was capable of. They hadn't been fighting for long, but it was rather easy to see that they were evenly matched – Quatre, while he accompanied his lover, the general, to war, was rarely forced to fight himself. The battle, therefore, was more of a dancing performance rather than a real duel. Of course, the weapons were a far cry from decorative wooden swords, which meant the fight could result in bloodshed. The children did not realize that – all they knew was that it seemed exotically beautiful. The men knew exactly what they were doing, having obviously been thoroughly educated as far as fencing was concerned, creating an almost ethereal vision of a perfect duel, the kind that only took place in fairy tales.  
  
"What is going on here?"   
  
The little ones jumped a bit. Mariemaia looked up and curtsied quickly. She elbowed the oblivious Otto sharply, making the boy glare – yet he caught himself quickly and bowed as well.  
  
"Good day to you, Lord Chang," they chorused.  
  
"Same to you. Now, what is going on here?" Wufei asked, kneeling to match the children's level.   
  
"Lord Winner and my uncle are dueling," Otto explained proudly. The Chinese man smirked instead of rolling his eyes, but sighed immediately afterward. He understood that the two needed to work some of their frustrations off; he only hoped that since they were fighting in front of kids his mate and Heero's healer wouldn't kill each other.  
  
Judging from their determined expressions, however, it was just as likely that someone's gut would end up splattered all over the clearing. So far there had only been one small cut, when Quatre's sword slid down Duo's blade, breaking the healer's skin when it was jerked back sharply, leaving behind a shallow, barely bleeding laceration.  
  
No longer than five minutes after Wufei's arrival Treize appeared, with Heero, who had finally collected himself after his conversation with Une, in tow. They stopped at the edge of the clearing, watching with a certain sense of disbelief at the scene being played there. Heero, because he had a really hard time thinking of 'Duo' and 'swordfight' in the same sentence, and Treize, since he had never seen such a murderous expression on the young man's face.  
  
"They are good," Treize finally commented. "And evenly matched." Heero nodded absentmindedly. His eyes were firmly trained on his healer's arm and the small amount of blood staining his shirt. The three men stared at the fight for about fifteen minutes when it became apparent that Quatre would most likely lose. When it came to battling he was just as experienced as the healer, but when it came to physical condition he was about a hair's width behind – as Heero had earlier observed, sleeping in silk sheets day after day caused even the toughest of warriors to soften. Nevertheless, he thrust with an almost unmatched fury, and a few times the tip of his weapon came very close to slashing through the healer's skin, between his chin and shoulders more often than not.  
  
Duo, while he most likely didn't realize that, knew an opening when he saw one – the blond was slowly but surely running out of breath. The healer smirked slightly, diving under one of his opponent's swipes. He remained crouching for the briefest of moments and kicked out almost immediately after. Quatre lost his footing and fell to the ground hard. The fall knocked the breath out of him, but he didn't drop his sword. Duo stepped back, trying to get his own breathing under control while the other man got back to his feet.  
  
Quatre rose with murder written plainly across his face. All the annoyance bottled up after weeks of watching Heero mope and then disappear suddenly came crashing down on him as pure rage. Heero has been hurt by the man currently facing him. Heero had suffered.  
  
And the man didn't even offer to comfort him!  
  
Of course, allowing pure rage to take over one's actions rarely ends up good. Quatre attacked furiously, but in is thirst for the healer's blood he didn't pay much attention to anything, including the healer's movements.  
  
Approximately seven seconds later he found himself flat on the ground with the tip of Duo's blade touching his neck. He stared in utter disbelief. Had he just lost a **swordfight** to a **healer**? He watched in stunned silence at the emotions playing across the other man's face, until finally Duo withdrew his sword and wordlessly offered the fallen man his hand. Still in shock, Quatre grasped it and allowed himself to be pulled up. They stood watching each other for a few more seconds, when unexpectedly for those watching they bowed to each other slightly (albeit warily) and stepped back. Duo returned to the bench, sheathed his sword and moved to leave the clearing, but Heero suddenly appeared in his way.  
  
"Shouldn't you get this treated?" he asked, indicating the scratch, worry colouring his voice. Worry and a noticeable amount of shock. Was that smugness he had just seen flickering across the delicate features? As if to confirm his observation, Duo smirked slightly.  
  
"It's just a cut, Heero. I distinctly remember you arguing that you were fine sporting a wound that went almost down to the bone," he replied. The general's brow furrowed.  
  
"I distinctly remember having half of my back cut out afterwards," he shot back. The healer looked him in the eye and the smirk transformed into a smile, a true happy smile. Duo extended his hand and delicately brushed Heero's bangs from his forehead.  
  
I promise I'll wrap it as soon as possible," he said and left the clearing, waving good-bye to his family. Treize stared after him, mildly amused. He had guessed that there was **something** between the healer and the general. Something strained and elusive, but something nonetheless.  
  
Quatre, meanwhile, was staring at Heero. He saw his features soften when the healer's palm brushed his face and the undeniable tranquillity in his eyes, something he had never seen before. Tranquillity and peace didn't come easily to soldiers, even harder to leaders like Heero, who sent their armies to death muttering the names of warriors as they went. Heero wasn't overly affectionate; he kept his distance from those closest to him, choosing instead to learn his soldiers' names, one by one. This was, Quatre mused, what made him such a brilliant military leader. The troops died for their king, but they fought for Heero.   
  
Quatre himself was not much of a soldier. He understood the need to fight and defend, but the purpose of his existence was to prevent wars, not to fight them. What he did understand, however, was that everyone needed their peace once in a while, and since he didn't have much trouble with finding his own amity, he quickly took it upon himself to bring it to others. Not without some – slightly more selfish – reasons. He spent countless days trying to create a semblance of peace for Wufei before he realized that it was his company that brought the general reprieve. The realization brought him immense relief as well. Even earlier, he had tried to console the other general of Sanq, yet his attempts were met with firm disapproval from said general's future wife. Quatre recalled the incident, smirking, as he rubbed the scar just below his shoulder. He noticed then that Dorothy somehow managed to bring that tranquil look to his friend's green eyes, despite her seemingly forceful and egoistic way of living.  
  
The same look that now, mirrored in deep blue pair of eyes, followed the disappearing figure of the long-haired healer. Lord Winner frowned.

* * *

Duo returned to his chamber, exhausted. He tore off his clothes and threw them on a nearby chair – he would deal with them later. Then he poured some water into a basin and splashed some on his face and chest. Absentmindedly he washed the gash and wrapped it with a random piece of cloth from his bag, all the while trying to get his breath to return to its normal pattern. He found a loose, clean shirt and put it on, disregarding the droplets of water that made it stick to his chest. Then he flipped down on the bed and closed his eyes tiredly. Sooner or later he'd have to get out and face everyone, but he was perfectly happy to stall it for as long as possible.  
  
As usual, the world had different ideas. A vigorous knock was delivered upon the door, and before Duo could even think about answering, it opened and closed immediately after, with the key turning in the lock right away leaving him alone with none other than Quatre Raberba Winner.  
  
"I assume you are feeling pretty satisfied right now, aren't you?" the blond asked, looking at the younger man almost forcefully. Duo sat on the bed surprised. He shot a quick glance to the window and then back to the noble. He forced himself to look the man straight in the eyes, and answer.  
  
"Yes, quite." The blond didn't respond. He was obviously still tired as his chest was heaving slightly, but his stare has lost nothing of its iciness. Duo felt cold sweat trickling down his back. He tried not to flinch when he almost felt the man's gaze move from his face to his chest, visible through the slightly transparent shirt. He found himself panicking – a few more seconds and he would be hyperventilating.  
  
…Heero used to look at him with this amount of intensity, but his look was warmer, full of tender desire. In Quatre's eyes there was nothing but ice.  
  
"I can see why Heero desires you so." Quatre's voice broke into Duo's reverie. "But I knew that, otherwise I wouldn't have brought you to him."   
  
Duo bristled, but somewhere deep inside his chest he felt a painful stab at the mention of the general's desire. He fought to squash it, yet the very thought he tried to avoid painted itself clearly across his mind. 'Heero stayed… because he wants me, and I refused him…'  
  
"What I couldn't understand," the blond continued meanwhile, "is why he **wants** you so much." Duo stared, somewhat surprised. Quatre sat down on the bed, not too far from him, while Duo frantically moved backwards, trying not to look too obvious. He had an overwhelming desire to grab his sword and force it through the man's chest, but he knew he wouldn't be able to. How many times had that thought crossed his mind right before Heero moved forward and slid his hands under his clothes?  
  
"I think I'm starting to." The man's words shook Duo from his stupor. He watched as Quatre clenched his teeth and averted his eyes. "I was wrong, when it came to you," he admitted quietly. "I thought you tried to make him unhappy." The healer was silent. He had a feeling that it was as close to an apology as the noble was going to give. Not that he blamed him, he knew that pride was an issue much too serious to be taken lightly. Men died for their pride. Well, men chose to suffer silently rather than face the humiliation of begging for their situation to be reconsidered, for that matter.  
  
Quatre sat on the bed, unmoving for a while longer, then he stood up slowly and walked to the door. He paused before turning the key in the lock and looked back on the healer. Had the long-haired man just spoken?  
  
"I am grateful you found me when you did, Lord Winner," Quatre heard over the deafening silence in the room. Duo didn't offer anything more, but the way he suddenly curled in on himself spoke volumes. Quatre, remembering the still-vivid picture of feverish youth surrounded by bulky, hairy sailors, offered him a hesitant smile. Truth to be told, he hadn't really thought of Heero when he bought the boy from those men. The great general came to mind quickly, but not first. Once he did however, the blond noble had woven an entire tapestry of ideas of how the child could bring happiness to his friend.  
  
Just one crucial factor escaped his mind: people are not chess figures, which can be put into designed positions on a chessboard. But still…  
  
"I was right, however, about one thing, Lord Maxwell," Quatre said, standing in the doorway. He waited until the violet eyes met his before continuing. "You do bring him peace. I can only hope he could bring the same for you."

TBC


	18. Departure

Author: Keiran  
Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 17/?  
Pairings: I can safely say that it's a tentative 1plus2plus1 in this chapter. Mentions past Solox11 as well as 13x11, 3xD.  
Rating: R overall, for no reason really.  
Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, a bit more angst.  
Archive: Gundam Wing Diaries, Cali0cat's Archive, my homepage. If you want it, drop me a line.  
Notes: I guess we won't be seeing Quatre much anymore, now that he's out of the way.  
  
Thank you Sundaire! – Sundaire devotes her time to check and correct my mistakes. Keiran heh-p-eeeh…

* * *

The morning found Duo, still as bewildered as the previous night, sitting on the windowsill of his room staring at the fields that stretched all the way to the horizon. He couldn't get Quatre's last words out of his mind. They rang again and again through his dreams, calling to him, waking him up, finally, just a few moments before the sunrise.  
  
'You do bring him peace. I can only hope he would do the same for you.'  
  
What could he mean by that?  
  
Duo sighed in frustration. It was just this man's talent to make tentative peace, and then throw in a remark that would haunt a person for ages. Now he could stop wondering just why Sanq barely fought wars anymore – all possible adversaries were probably too busy mulling over some well-placed comment that Lord Winner had made. Nevertheless, he felt relieved that they were on speaking terms now. He genuinely hated hating people, even if they asked for it. Duo sighed and stood up, reaching absentmindedly for a comb. Carefully he separated the honey-brown strands and continued on to untangle and straighten them.  
  
Ten minutes later, he took several deep breaths to ease the frustration the brushing invoked. If it weren't for the fact that the masses of hair were the only thing that connected him to his mother, he would have gotten rid of them years ago. But then, he couldn't quite bring himself to abandon the feeling of freshly washed, still cool hair against his skin. Not many things made him feel as safe.  
  
He donned some proper noble clothing and walked out of his room, heading for the chamber where meals were served. It was fairly early, but he had already learned that almost everyone got up early in this place, now that he was certain that Dorothy actually slept, not staying up all night plotting ways in which to control the court. He smirked taking his place at the table, noting that Lady Dorothy was already there.  
  
"Didn't sleep well?" he asked._  
_  
The woman scowled. "You know I had the worst night of my life! How dare you even ask!"  
  
"I figured that since I was scheduled for beheading three days ago, for hanging two, and yesterday I was to be thrown in the dungeon, I thought that today I'd take my chances and perhaps even get an answer," Duo replied, earning a scowl. "I am merely wondering about your health, milady." Dorothy furrowed her brows and glared, yet the healer withstood her glare calmly. Eventually the lady gave up and answered.  
  
"I do not feel bad, I was woken in the morning by sickness," she replied quietly. Duo nodded to himself.  
  
"That is nothing to worry about," he said equally softly. "In fact, I dare say that is a good sign," he added with a hint of an impish smile. The lady glared again, but this time the threat in the look was mixed with thankfulness. They sat in silence until the others arrived and the breakfast was served. With the arrival of children, the hall brightened up immediately, filled with chattering and conversations. Duo sat in the middle of the table, absorbed with listening so much that he often forgot that there was food in front of him. This wasn't exactly family, but the princess did her best to make everyone feel at home after a couple of weeks of living under one roof. Once everyone was seated and the meal set, the atmosphere was peaceful. The tension started once the food was finished.  
  
Duo listened intently as his little nephew spoke excitedly of everything they recently did, the sword fighting lessons included. "…And uncle Duo said that tomorrow we can go for a trip into the forest!" he finished, nearly jumping onto the table in excitement. His step father smiled at him.  
  
Well, I'm delighted that you're having such a lovely time here, but I'm afraid that we will be leaving shortly," Treize announced. Duo turned in his seat surprised.  
  
"How shortly?"  
  
"Within this week I'm afraid." Treize looked apologetic. The children looked disappointed. Lady Une was ignoring her husband in favor of Heero, who at the moment desired nothing more than to crawl under the table.  
  
"So soon?" Duo asked again, his voice barely shaking. 'But it is unfair,' he berated himself, 'you knew it was going to be like this when you decided to stay out here rather than return to Albion. You knew you wouldn't see them too often.'  
  
"Yes, I'm afraid we need to head to the capitol," the blue-eyed man said firmly, yet kindly, attempting to placate his children. "We stayed a bit longer than we originally planned anyway – I have yet to speak with his Highness and things at home won't supervise themselves, you know." Relena looked appropriately surprised, but collected herself immediately.  
  
"It was a pleasure to have you as our guests here, and you have my word that I will make sure your stay in Sanq will be equally pleasant," she said formally. "I shall be heading home as well, if you don't mind my company," she added. Heero blinked at this. So suddenly everyone was going home? He shot his friends a questioning glance.  
  
"Yes, we shall be heading home as well," Trowa answered the unspoken query. "It's high time we left anyway – any later and Dorothy would have to stay here for the next year." Dorothy glared at him furiously. Duo snickered delicately behind a grape. Fortunately for him the smirk escaped the woman's attention.  
  
"Trowa…" she hissed dangerously. Treize caught onto the game and snickered himself. Pictures of Une glaring at everything and everyone entered his mind, especially amusing since they were cast over a very rounded belly. He and Solo used to joke about it all of the time, especially since it was about the same time that his own wife was with a child. Yet the memory of Duo's brother and Mariemaia's mother made him sigh softly. He doubted he would ever be able to recall their faces without the hint of sadness their respective deaths caused. But he knew he wouldn't want to.

* * *

The trip to the forest went without a hitch – the children returned barely conscious but happy and went to sleep immediately afterward. The time flew by, and very soon the party was ready to depart. Heero stood watching the carriages being prepared, although if one was to follow his gaze he would found it stuck to the figure of a certain young man, rather than anything else. Une was leaving, so that meant he would finally be able to move around the mansion without looking around each corner, but on the other hand, Duo would return to the temple. He couldn't decide which was worse.  
  
"General." Heero froze hearing the voice. Sure enough, it was Lady Une. He turned and bowed respectfully, trying inconspicuously to check if she was holding any weapons. "Would you walk with me please?" she said, and without waiting for a response she turned and walked in the direction of the gardens. They walked in silence until they reached the shade of the trees, Heero throwing curious looks at his companion from time to time. Finally the woman spoke.  
  
"I was thinking about what you said," she admitted softly and continued, "and you might be right."  
  
"I meant no disrespect milady," Heero answered quietly, wincing as he recalled his harsh words. They might have been true, but even truth could be phrased so as not to hurt anyone.  
  
"Oh, but you did," the woman chuckled. "At the time. I can understand that. Well, I will not tell you stories about Duo, since they are his to tell, when he decides you should know. However there is something I can tell you."  
  
"I'm listening, milady."  
  
"I was his brother's wife, you know that, I assume?" When the general nodded she continued, "I knew them both most of my life, although I rarely saw Duo. He was taken early on to the East for teachings. I admit that he might have felt slightly uncomfortable in my presence – I never wished him wrong, but ensuring that my husband was happy was more important. You probably do not know, but Duo looks just like his mother, with his violet eyes, pale skin and chestnut hair. He doesn't remember or probably wasn't ever told, since he was about four at the time, but his mother committed suicide after she was ravished. It was mostly because of that Duo was constantly being sent away – Solo couldn't bear to look at him too long before breaking down. Yes, I continued to send him away for my husband. I am probably to blame for everything that has happened to him. No matter how it may seem, however, I care for Duo. I will not stand to see him hurt, do you understand?"  
  
"I wouldn't dream of hurting him, milady, I promise," Heero said very quietly, holding her gaze. The woman offered a tight smile in return.  
  
"I will trust you not to," she said. "But trust me on this general, should you break this promise, not even death will grant you peace, I'll make sure of that." Heero smirked. He understood the lady well. He assumed that it was all, but the woman had not finished yet. But it did seem like she finally accepted him.  
  
After all, she virtually told him that Duo above all else needed someone to be with him. Always.

* * *

Duo stared after the disappearing carriages. Heero stood by his side, his gaze also drifting to the coaches, but the further they were, the more his eyes returned to the slender figure of the healer. The general was cursing internally, seeing that Duo had already changed into his white robes, which meant that he was going back to the Temple.  
  
"Heero?" Duo said, cocking his head to the side rather – Heero thought – adorably. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes, why do you ask?"  
  
"I don't know." The healer blushed faintly, averting his eyes. "You weren't speaking and you had that strange look in your eyes…" The statement made Heero blink. He felt a wave of smugness envelope his person. Duo was concerned for his well-being. That was a victory in itself.  
  
The blush just made it sweeter.  
  
"I'm fine. But I am glad you are concerned." The blush took on a slightly darker hue. "Would you like me to see you home?" His satisfaction grew as Duo nodded shyly.  
  
They didn't speak much afterwards. Wing and Deathscythe were already saddled and waiting for them in the stables. The duo started on the road without a rush, in fact, it even seemed like they were slowing down the closer they got to their goal. Duo smiled looking at his companion. They were silent for a long while, but when they eventually started talking they couldn't bring themselves to stop – he found they had so much in common and yet at the same time they differed so much…  
  
Being with Heero alone like that was more and more becoming. He never really had anyone he could speak with like he could with the general. In fact, he barely met people that were likely to converse with him equally. He sighed happily after the older man countered his statement vehemently. Only now he began to understand how much he longed for such a partner. He knew Heero wanted him as a partner, of that he could be sure. He just wondered if he would be able to let him close enough.  
  
The blue-eyed general felt as if he would cry when the white building of the Temple came into view. He'd been having such a wonderful time! But his disappointment diminished quickly when the small figure of Sally ran out to meet them and flung herself into the healer's arms crying her eyes out.  
  
"Hilde is dying, healer! Master said she won't see the next sunrise!" Heero looked on as the violet eyes slowly filled with pain and anguish. Duo tried to say something, but he couldn't seem to find the words. "She won't die, will she?" Sally demanded. "She will be fine!" she cried, pulling herself away and staring imploringly into the healer's eyes. He, however, was unable to return her stare. "Won't she? Won't she?!" The child's desperate sobbing sounded hollow in the empty country yard as her hopes were torn apart by the soft words whispered into her ear.  
  
Heero felt despair enter his own heart as he watched the golden head snuggled into Duo's embrace. He felt sorry for Hilde, even though he barely knew her. They spoke briefly a few times, enough for him to know that she was kind, cheerful and easy to talk to. But that girl was his Duo's best friend. If she died… if she died, how would that affect the long-haired man? Would he stop caring? Would he change?  
  
…Would he push everyone else away, just not to get hurt again?

TBC


	19. Wishing

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 18/21.

Pairings: 1plus2plus1 Yay!

Rating: R overall, for no reason really.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, a bit more angst. Fluffy, emotional.

Archive: Gundam Wing Diaries, Cali0cat's Archive, my homepage, , If you want it, drop me a line.  
Notes: This is not an end yet, despite what it looks like.  
  
Thank you Sundaire! – Sundaire devotes her time to check and correct my mistakes. Keiran heh-p-eeeh…

* * *

As the master healer predicted, Hilde Sheibker died a few hours before sunrise. Heero volunteered to accompany Duo when he stayed up with his friend, offering whatever consolation he could. The healer forced a smile onto his face and seemingly without effort he continued talking – first of the princess who'd just visited the palace nearby; his little nephew and niece; the duke and duchess of a foreign land and many more stories. He never wavered, latching on to a brand new tale once the previous was finished, keeping the fear out of his friend's eyes. The girl had been frightened, that much Heero could see – the sickness had exhausted her body, to the point where she hardly could do more than sleep, but even the comfort of slumber was interrupted with vicious coughing fits.  
  
But no matter how pale or sick she looked, the general could see that – like Duo – she forced a smile upon her face and bravely asked questions about whatever caught her attention in any of the stories. It seemed like she was just as set on taking Duo's mind off her impending death as he was. Between the two of them, they managed to keep the terrible apparition at bay, speaking and laughing, until the girl's eyes closed involuntary and she fell into a deep sleep, from which she would never wake.  
  
During the whole night Heero stood by his healer, offering quiet, unwavering support, feeling somehow that it would be the only thing keeping the other man upright when the dawn came. Even he knew that when someone's best friend dies, they need to know they aren't alone. He vowed to himself he would stay by Duo no matter what. However, this oath had proved difficult to keep, since as soon as Hilde's breathing ceased, the healer bolted from the temple and disappeared. Heero saw him briefly at the funeral, but the man managed to evade him and disappear again, leaving the great general desperately praying for both his safety and his comfort. Heero was no innocent, he had seen people die, more than he could count. He witnessed people's grief as they lost their loved ones, their friends, their lovers, their parents and even their children. He couldn't be sure just how Duo would react to being left alone again. He hoped, with all his heart, that he wouldn't give into the more emotional part of his being and try to escape any further hurt by keeping his distance from everyone. That hope was strong – Duo proved to be intelligent and wise when it came to dealing with emotions – but there was a chance that he might be just too drained from witnessing so many people in his life pass away before him.  
  
Hilde was buried at the small cemetery right by the temple, rather than in her family's graveyard – as the master healer had said, whoever becomes a healer needs to remember that they would forever be one. From the moment they choose to ease the suffering of others, there is no turning back. Heero attended the ceremony, standing still and morose in the back, keeping his gaze fixed on Duo.  
  
The healer, on the other hand, seemed to stare at nothing, his eyes unfocused and out of place. Somehow his clothing was pristine white, his hair brushed carefully without a single hair falling out of the neat braid. The sun shone upon him, making him seem almost angel-like in Heero's eyes. Of course, if the general had bothered to observe other healers more closely he would have noticed that it was mostly due to the white clothing all of the healers wore – clean, purely white fabric always shone in the sunlight. But to him, Duo was special.  
  
Which was probably why he felt so hurt when the long-haired man disappeared right after the service, without saying a word.

* * *

Following the burial, Heero made a point of visiting the temple daily, primarily to speak with Duo, but also to try and console Sally, who took the death of her much older friend very hard. The general did his best to comfort the little girl, even though most of it he had to guess. As it turned out, he was much better at guessing than at social interactions – within a week the small blonde got over most of the grief and, although it was obvious it would take much longer before she could be carefree again, she started to laugh at least.  
  
"I'm really happy you're here, my lord," the little girl said one day, curled against Heero's arm under a tree, where they were reading a book.  
  
"How so?" he asked slowly. Her little face still bore traces of tears, just like he found her in the morning, but there was a small smile on her lips.  
  
"You helped me to learn how to do mathematics. Now I can be a healer and I can learn how to heal people." Heero smiled kindly. "Maybe one day I will even learn how to cure the sickness of which Hilde died." The general knew better than to dampen her enthusiasm, but he was aware that it was incurable, that nobody knew how it attacked a person; when it did, however, there was no stopping it. He had seen numerous people die of the disease. He had heard healers saying that it was pretty much incurable, wherever he asked.  
  
"Yes," he whispered softly, "maybe you will." Sally beamed and laughed happily, for the first time since Hilde died.  
  
It was a small victory, but it made the general proud. He hoped that he would be able to do the same for Duo, but for that he would need to find the man first. And that was proving to be very difficult so far. It seemed, however, that Heero was in luck – about a week after the funeral, as he set out to return to the palace, he finally saw his healer, standing alone with his head bowed under a blossoming cherry tree. Heero's breath caught in his throat. He must have known he was there. He must have been waiting.  
  
This was it. The moment of truth. This was, most likely, the most important conversation they would ever have. One wrong word and he would never see Duo again. The general trembled at the thought. Could he live with that? He asked himself as he slowly neared the other man.  
  
"Duo," he whispered softly, instead of greeting. He stared at the miserable figure, trying to think of a way to offer comfort and consolation, but his mind was blank. He didn't know what to do or say – what can one say to a person who'd lost their best friend anyway – but he was making an effort. For Duo.  
  
The healer was steadily ignoring him. Heero tried to call him again, a couple of times, with the same lack of results, before deciding that maybe Duo needed more space to collect himself. He wouldn't give up yet, of course, but he would wait a few more days. Death isn't easy to come to terms with, after all. He turned with a soft promise of 'I'll be there,' but his departure was prevented – Duo's hand shot out and grabbed the general's wrist tightly, keeping the man in place. Heero looked back with a silent question in his blue eyes.  
  
"Don't leave me…," he heard, whispered almost soundlessly. The melodious voice shook only slightly, as Duo shifted his grip and hesitantly stepped closer. "Please… I won't run anymore. Just don't leave me…" Heero's eyes widened, as he felt the gentle, yet incessant, tugging on his collar and lowered his head obediently.  
  
It felt unbearably sweet to be kissed by Duo. Finally, after six long years, Duo was the one to initiate a kiss. The taller man closed his eyes and pulled his partner nearer, losing himself in the blissful sensation of soft lips upon his own. He had dreamt about it, but no dream could ever compare to the sheer overwhelming **reality** of the feeling. His hands made their way into the healer's hair, as the kiss grew deeper, more urgent, but for the life of him Heero couldn't figure which one of them was deepening the connection – he was perfectly content with the tender caresses, even though his body relished the thought of finally having Duo back by its side. He pulled back, almost imperceptibly, to look into the violet eyes, searching for anything to confirm the truth of what was happening between them, but as he drew back he could feel the healer's fingers tightening on his shirt.  
  
They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, searching, until finally the lids fell over the violet orbs and the healer whispered, "I'm yours, Heero," his voice barely shaking. The general's arms tightened around the slim form, as he slowly led them both into the temple.  
  
As the two disappeared inside the building, the sky slowly turned yellow and orange, lightening the sun's descend, until it hid fully behind the horizon.

* * *

Duo woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. He lay silently, staring at the ceiling mutely, uncomprehending. He didn't recognize the room. Suddenly remembering what had ensued the previous night he shot up, his eyes wild, his hand automatically flying to his chest.  
  
His shirt was still on. Slightly disbelieving he let his palm slide down, into his lap, tugging the coverings away. He was still wearing his trousers as well. Shifting slightly he realized he didn't feel any pain in his lower regions, or even an ache, which would normally be the case.  
  
So what had happened last evening? Had he dreamed about kissing Heero? 'No,' he concluded touching his lips briefly. 'That part was real.' His lips were tingling even now, he could tell they were swollen slightly. He let his eyes sweep across the room, stopping on a reclining figure next to the wall.  
  
Heero. He sat leaning against the wall, his legs stretched before him, wrapped in his own and Duo's cloaks.  
  
For the longest time Duo sat on the pallet, staring at the slumbering general. He could remember, finally: Heero had led him inside, into the room he usually occupied when staying at the temple, holding him close all of the time; he removed most of his clothing, laid him on his pallet and wrapped the healer with a blanket carefully. All the while Duo said nothing, staring at the man, nearly unblinking, as close to tears as he was ever going to get. After making sure the long-haired man was comfortable, Heero leaned in and tenderly pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. 'Sleep,' he had said, 'all would be better in the morning.'  
  
Almost unwittingly a smile made its way onto the healer's face, as a lone tear trailed down his cheek.

* * *

When Heero woke, it was dawn. He sat unmoving for a few minutes, knowing that he would be terribly cramped for the rest of the day, yet unwilling to leave the cocoon of warmth wrapped around his body. His gaze fell onto the pallet, finding it unoccupied. He sighed. Duo must have gotten up earlier. Heero sighed again. They were past, or so he hoped, the worst. They would need to talk, sooner rather than later, but the storm had already passed.  
  
As his eyes focused, however, he noticed something wasn't exactly right – he was wrapped in a blanket, which he knew for sure was around Duo last night, and there was a weight against his right arm, a weight that was warm and moved slightly at regular intervals. Hoping against hope, Heero turned his head slightly.  
  
His eyes met a pair of violet ones, fluttering sleepily. Once Duo finally blinked the sleep away and got a good look at the general his breath caught.  
  
"Heero, are you crying?" he whispered softly, unwilling to disturb the stillness of the morning. He timidly raised his palm to brush a stray tear away from the handsome face. Seconds later, he found himself tugged gently onto Heero's lap and embraced tightly against the man's chest.  
  
"You stayed," the general whispered against his hair. "Goddess… You stayed." Duo returned the embrace, tucking his forehead in the crease between Heero's neck and shoulder. His eyes shimmered as well.  
  
"I do not lie. I promised I wouldn't run anymore," he replied, shaking slightly. "I promised I would be yours." That shook Heero from his stupor.  
  
"Duo… I don't want that, not anymore. I want you to be mine, yes, but above all I want you to want it too…," he said seriously, catching the other's face with his hands and pressing their foreheads together. Duo was silent for a while. When he finally spoke, his voice barely shook.  
  
"I want to be with you too," he answered softly. Heero, however, caught the slight undertone of hesitation in the other's voice. Nevertheless, he was relieved. Duo did care about him. Even if he had his doubts, that didn't matter much – in fact it would be worrying if he had none. But he did trust him, trusted him enough to open up and care.  
  
Heero suddenly realized it didn't matter all that much now when they would share a bed – that they ever would he was certain. Duo was still so young, he must crave physical intimacy, especially since – judging from his skittish reactions to people – he hadn't shared a bed with anyone since Heero. "I can wait, darling," he whispered seriously into Duo's ear. "I will wait, however long you will need."  
  
The general did understand what Duo was going through, but he couldn't help feeling a bit hurt when he felt the slender body relax fully and mould against his more tightly. He chased the hurt away quickly, though. Duo was tangible, warm and in his arms. He was also desperate not to lose him last night, when he offered his body as a token of forever, and that was proof enough for Heero that he had done the right thing, all the right things. Duo wanted to keep him.  
  
Now… it was just a matter of time before Duo realized how much he trusted him and opened fully because he wanted, not because he felt it was needed.

* * *

**TBC.**


	20. Analysing

Author: Keiran  
Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 19/21  
Pairings: 1plus2plus1. Broadly speaking.  
Rating: R overall, for no reason really.  
Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, tiny bit of angst.  
Archive: Gundam Wing Diaries, Cali0cat's Archive, my homepage. If you want it, drop me a line.  
Notes: Duo tries to analyse everything from a logical, reasonable point of view.

Thank you Sundaire for betaing!

**Andrew** – you didn't leave an email or anything, so sorry for making you wait for a reply. Hopefully this chapter would clear my reasoning a bit. I do my best so that the ending doesn't seem rushed, although I can't say that the point of the fic is a 1x2 get-together. I am having dark thoughts about that right now, to tell the truth. The point is whatever you make of it. :P But seriously – most of all, I would hate for this story to become another black and white rabid fangirl ficcy.

xxxXXXxxx

Spring gradually eased into summer, bringing with it warm, lazy afternoons and short, starlit nights. The sun seemed determined to make the work of farmers more than worthwhile, shining with all of its might onto the golden fields and gardens. Tranquillity filled the air, giving men peace of mind and soul.

In some cases, however, the summer heat did nothing to relieve the tension. Duo Maxwell woke night after night, cursing the hot weather with a passion. Usually, this time of the year didn't offer many jobs for the healers – there was an occasional childbirth and some minor accidents, but normally the summer months went by without much notice at the temple. The only major activity at the time was collecting and drying herbs, which normally was left to the novices. All in all, Duo had way too much time on his hands to actually **think** about life. And the great general.

Heero would have been proud and glad to hear that his person occupied the healer's mind at all times, yet he would have probably been less than happy with the actual content of those thoughts. Duo wondered, especially at nights, if he had done the right thing in binding himself to the man. It hadn't really been a conscious decision on his part at first – he had hurt so much when Hilde died; even if he had seen it coming, it had hurt so much! He fled from everything and everyone then, finding solace in the quiet woods. He didn't want to be comforted. He knew, logically, that something like that had to happen one day; that if anyone would have died of an illness, it probably wouldn't be him. He had travelled so much, been exposed to so many different environments, that he would be lucky, figuratively speaking, if he ever got seriously sick again.

Logically, he knew also that Hilde's death was not his fault. He was, after all, barely into his twenties. True, he was experienced, but there is a limit to the experience a twenty-year-old can have, no matter how perceptive. Even the master healers couldn't have saved the girl. But there was no denying the fact the he was a healer. He took death rather personally.

Finally though… he was tired. Tired of being alone, tired of being strong, tired of relying on himself all of the time. Tired of being different. He knew he was – no matter how much the other healers liked him, he was born – and raised – as a court noble, and that fact separated him from everyone else. Oh, he knew he was liked, that was fairly easy to see. But also knew that the people who surrounded him instinctively put him on a pedestal, one he could never step down from. He was tired of it as well.

Heero had been a welcome relief, although it was not until much later that Duo had acknowledged the fact. He needed someone like Heero and the challenge the man presented. Intellectually, the man was his equal; they had enough in common to make conversations pleasing, and at the same time they were so different, that the conversations were indeed interesting. Duo couldn't deny that there was passion between them; he had the proof of that. Physically he wanted Heero as much as the general wanted him. It was the emotions that bothered him.

There was, undoubtedly, something there. It started off worse than bad for Heero: the healer had been indifferent. He had been anxious to close and forget that chapter of his life; in a way he had almost succeeded too. Yes, he hated being forced. He loathed having his own body turn traitor on him. But at the same time, even though he would have never acknowledged it, not even to himself, Heero, during that one year, had given him more warmth and care than he had received in his entire life. No matter how fiercely he fought against that realization, he had loved the attention.

He was mostly alone as a child; he was encouraged to spend time with his books and elderly scholars instead of girls and boys his own age. The thing about books was that, no matter how immersing they were, they couldn't keep him warm at night. Heero could and had.

Of course before Heero would hold him he would violate him, not exactly the thing a teenage boy wanted to have on his mind while cuddling. Although… after the first excitement had died down, Heero seemed to be rather content with sharing the bed without initiating intercourse. Ever since he had arrived at the temple, the young healer often found himself laying awake at night envisioning the general's hands in a tender embrace around him, the man's warm breath in his hair. It had surprised him, in retrospect, how many nights he had spent merely being held. Duo sighed. He could sometimes just go and hit himself, for always trying to be fair and rational. So what, the angry part exclaimed, if Heero had held him on some nights! He certainly didn't mind using him on others!

"It's a moot point," Duo said aloud. "So he made me sleep with him, big deal." He had hoped the uncertainty he felt didn't reflect in his voice.

Altogether, the balance was, in Duo's recognition, somewhere at zero the time they were parted, which allowed him to give Heero a chance of proving himself when they next met.

Now, he just wondered, if that chance wasn't too rash a decision on his part. He loved the feeling of being warm and wanted; his mind tended to associate that particular feeling with desire and fulfilment, true, but also humiliation. He wasn't certain if he could ever separate the sensations. He wasn't a child anymore. He had thought about the situation, long and hard, and he realized that Heero had become important to him. Important enough to want him to stay, forever. Hence the giving in to what he believed Heero wanted most of all – his body. If that was what it took for the general to stay, so be it. Maybe not exactly the most rational of decisions, but he wasn't in a rational state of mind then.

He was glad his offer was rejected. He was so overwhelmed with grief he probably would have slipped into the mindset he had adopted for dealing with his enslavement in the first place, which wouldn't work out all that well. But Heero said no; said he would wait.

Now the question was, would Duo ever be ready for a relationship?

xxxXXxxx

Duo had taken to wandering aimlessly around the cool corridors of the temple. Walking usually helped him to relax, to collect his thoughts. Goddess knew he needed that. He could recall no other time when his thoughts were this scattered, although he did realize that in all the times they were scattered, there was the distinctive figure of the Sanq's great general moving from one to another. Leaning his forehead against cool stones Duo smiled bitterly.

What was he to do?

His inner turmoil absorbed him so much, that the quiet voice of the master healer nearly made him jump high into the air. "Master," he said bowing respectfully. "Can I help you?" the old man regarded him for a few moments.

"I was hoping I might help you," he answered shortly. "I understand that you and the general had finally come to an agreement?" Duo averted his eyes. He didn't bother thinking how the man knew that – It was his duty to see to every healer's physical and mental health.

"Of sorts," he replied finally. "I was… upset after Hilde died. I thought… it was stupid of me… but I didn't want to be alone anymore," he admitted with difficulty.

"Did the general take you up on the offer?" Duo shook his head.

"Not entirely, at least not physically," he answered, his cheeks colouring slightly. He allowed himself to be led around the corner and out into the gardens, where the old man could sit without straining his bones.

"A point in his favour then?"

"You could… say that," Duo admitted softly. "I just… I know, I **feel** that I could have been happy with him, if we hadn't… **met** before!" he almost spat. "He is everything I could have possibly wanted, I could see that even then! I'm the problem," he finished mournfully. It took a few silent moments before he spoke again. "I cannot… I am unable to accept being touched, unless I concentrate fully on it. And it hurts." The last part arrived as a broken whisper, barely perceptible.

"I… wish, sometimes, that I had never fallen down that cliff," Duo said after a long while. "It had been straightforward, before that. Impossible to accept and horrible, but… I could hate him in peace, everything was so… simple."

"Ah, yes, probably," the master healer agreed. "But eventually you would start looking for accidents to happen to you, am I right?" The younger man curled on the low bench, pressing his forehead to his knees. The soft confirmation did not go unnoticed.

Suicide had always been something he would never consider, but he could hardly deny that the fall down the cliff wasn't entirely unexpected. It was always there, deep in his mind, the silent hope that one day a catwalk would give out and he would fall into silence and darkness. He had, after all, deliberately sought for situations that were not exactly dangerous, but offered a distant promise.

Cliffs. Narrow bridges. Slippery windowsills. His balance had the chance to prove itself, time and time again.

"That, I imagine, still gave you a source of power, being the master of your own life," the elderly man spoke quietly. "Now, however, he wants you back, but on entirely different terms. Is that what you fear? Giving up control over your life, to him no less?"

"No…" Duo said slowly. "I don't think it's about control. I think… I'm just scared of losing him."

"Losing him?" The older healer turned fully to look at his younger friend. "Losing him?" he repeated, "But you cannot lose him if you don't have close him first," he said softly.

"Not… like that," Duo blushed slightly. The master's words were laced with delicate suggestion of exactly how close the general wanted to be, and the young healer couldn't help but react to the images. "I… it's really hard to explain. I… he means something to me, important even, you could say, but…" Duo said, gesticulating helplessly with his hands, hoping for the other man to understand. Eventually, the elderly man nodded.

"I think I know what you mean," he said slowly. "He is important, but you do not know if that importance is the right kind of importance, is that right?" Duo gave the man a slightly confused stare. "I think you worry if he is a person to you, or is he just an experience of your past." The statement did strike a nerve. The violet eyed healer stared off into space for a longer while, digesting the other man's words.

"Yes," he said finally. "I think you might be right. Partly at least. If I look at Heero now, I see the person he is, or at least I hope what I see is who he **is**. But at the same time I have the image of the great general hovering in my mind. Sometimes… I find it hard to tell the difference."

"Ah." After a brief pause the older man continued, "then all is not lost, if you can see Heero, not the general when you look at him."

"But then I remember that Heero still **is** the general. And that is what I cannot forget."

"Than maybe you shouldn't try to forget," the elderly man said, getting up slowly. "Maybe what you need to do is accept."

"How can I accept everything that has happened?" Duo asked, somewhat annoyed.

"There is no need for anger, young one," the master advised sternly. "Anger changes nothing, merely clouds reason."

"How can I be reasonable, master. How?"

"I think you try to be too reasonable, Duo. And I think it is confusing you. Because if my reason doesn't fail, you should have rejected the first advances on his part, in a fashion that would leave no room for doubt. Likely breaking some of his bones in the process.

"No, I think you have already accepted what has already happened. What you have not yet acknowledged is that you miss it." Duo's eyes opened wide. Of all the things he expected, this wasn't even coming close! Yet… he knew it was true. Was that not one of his own thoughts, after all? He stared unseeing, at the grass below his feet, trying to calm his swarming thoughts.

Could he accept accepting the knowledge?

* * *

Would be grateful for meaningful reviews. This ficcy is important to me, and I wish for it to be as good as humanly possible.


	21. Triage

Author: Keiran

Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 20/21

Pairings: 1+2+1. Broadly speaking.

Rating: R overall, for no reason really.

Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.

Warnings: Shounen-ai, tiny bit of angst.

Archive: Gundam Wing Diaries, Cali0cat's Archive, The Vault, my homepage. If you want it, drop me a line.  
Notes: I had this chapter planned for ages, but couldn't quite get into the right frame of mind to actually write it. This is dedicated to all of the emergency services of London, and the amazing job you people are carrying out.

I know it took me ages to get here – I know and I'm very sorry. I hope I will manage to get the final part(s) finished soon. Thank you all for encouragement, it means a lot to me.

Thank you Shenlong Deb for betaing!

xxxXXXxxx

The summer continued to be one of the driest in living memory. The crops grew healthily, continuously nurtured by the rich soil, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that the following year would not be a particularly good one. Fortunately, the threat of a drought did not haunt the minds of the people as yet; nevertheless, the elders declared that caution must be exercised regarding the consumption of water. Heero barely noticed, both because due to his position, no one would dare to remind him, unless the situation was dire indeed, but chiefly due to the fact that as a soldier he was used to rationed provisions. Watching what he ate was almost a habit to him.

Not having many duties, he made a point of visiting the temple frequently. Little Sally seemed to positively glow every time she saw him, and Duo, somehow, seemed so confused most of the time, that he welcomed the pillar of strength gratefully, all the time maintaining the carefully erected barriers between them. Heero, even though he prided himself on patience, often found himself frustrated beyond belief. The situation was simply unreal, he mused frequently. The thrill of having to chase his prize had already worn off, leaving him surprisingly not resigned, but determined to wait, even if waiting was to take a lifetime. What really got to him, however, was the dual nature of his quarry. Duo was warm and kind towards everyone, never losing his smile – never, unless he was facing Heero. It seemed so strange, watching the healer comfort children and parents alike, seeming for all intents and purposes as if he were one of their own, yet freezing out the one person who was in fact closer to him than anyone else on Earth.

Heero sighed heavily. He was far from being discouraged – if anything his resolve seemed to be stronger than ever – but he would have been glad if the results of his efforts were more tangible than an occasional goodnight kiss. His sigh was chased away soon enough – like most matters regarding Duo, the frustration and annoyance mixed with elation and warmth, creating a bittersweet mixture he never knew before.

"Heero," the general heard suddenly. Turning his head, he acknowledged the presence of his healer, surprisingly free of his omnipresent white robe. Inclining his head in greeting, he gestured to the horses grazing nearby.

"It's good to see you," he answered, leaning forward to nuzzle his face against the sun-warmed hair. Without further ado, the two slipped into a comfortable silence, which, as Heero noted, only seem to surround Duo when he was either completely alone or accompanied by him.

Hoisting himself onto Wing's back with hard-earned ease, Heero tugged the reins, directing the animal towards the road, speeding up into a brisk trot, once Deathscythe, with Duo on his back, fell into the familiar position at his side. With little words spoken the general and the healer turned into the narrow way between golden fields, intent on enjoying the summer sun.

xxxXXXxxx

Precariously balancing a bucket of water on his shoulder, Heero grabbed another with his free hand, saving a little boy from a certain painful fall. Motioning for the child to follow, he ran the several paces necessary to pass the buckets into the hands of the nearest villager, who immediately sent it further on through the chain. The whole village, small as it was, gathered, helping to put out the fire that had started in one of the houses and managed to spread to at least three others and a barn before it was brought under control. By the time Heero got to the scene, the peasants managed to stop the flames from spreading throughout all of their homes, leaving only the barn to be put out. The task, seemingly so simple, nevertheless proved to be heart-wrenching for many: the day before fresh grass had been cut and stacked high in the wooden building, a lot of the village children had chosen to spend the evening and night playing on mounds of hay.

Unsurprisingly, the high temperatures and not enough rain in the recent days made everything dry – Heero strongly suspected it took merely one spark to start the disaster. To make matters even worse, this summer, though low on water, would bring many children to local populace; most of the healers were absent from the temple, having set off to villages several hours of brisk march away. The temple, which housed little more than two dozen usually, for as long as Heero could remember, was now very nearly devoid of adult healers. Now, this late at night, it was doubtful many of them returned.

Pushing the grim thoughts out of his mind, Heero gritted his teeth and, as soon as the fire died down to acceptable levels, smashed the doors of the barn and got in, looking for those of the little ones who hadn't managed to escape when the fire broke out. Seeing the heavy log blocking the door though, he cursed to himself. His worst fears were realised soon enough – there were small bodies littering the floor, so many of them unmoving…

Shaking himself harshly, Heero kneeled next to the nearest one, checking for a pulse. Finding none, he swallowed heavily, recognising the remains of telltale red hair. Offering a short prayer for the little boy, he moved on to the next.

The village worked relentlessly, two more men following the general into the still-smoking ruins of the barn, carrying out the injured children. At first there seemed to be so many of them, yet, as Heero soon realised, a little to his relief, that things appeared to be far worse than they actually were. More than a half of the children had managed to escape before the log had fallen and made it to the nearby pond, like they'd been taught to in case of a fire. The little redhead was one of two who died in the barn – about ten were still alive, though wounded.

Carrying the second – and thankfully last – corpse from the ruins, Heero was greatly relieved to notice the familiar chestnut braid resting against a white robe. The healers had arrived. Everything would be fine now, he thought, though a sad expression entered his eyes as he gazed at the badly burned girl in his arms. At that very moment a woman ran to him, a wail escaping her lips as she realised who was in the noble's arms. Taking her daughter from Heero, she hugged her close to her chest, sinking to the ground, wracked by sobs. The man stared at her haplessly for a few moments, before walking off, allowing the mother her grief.

"Is there anything you need?" he asked, kneeling beside Duo who was busy tending to one of the smaller children. The long-haired man turned to him, looking for injuries. Finding none, a soft glow of relief entered his eyes as he shook his head, returning his attention to the little boy in front of him. Working quickly, he went through the motions Heero had seen countless times on a battlefield; rinse the cloth, wash the skin, apply a mixture of herbs, or bread with cobweb, depending what was in supply, bind the wound. Under a skilled hand dressing a wound was the work of but a moment, yet it often decided whether the patient would live to see another day. Having fished tying the wrappings, Duo would smile and offer a few kind words to the peasants before moving on to treat another of the wounded, Heero following, assisting wherever he could. With only three healers around, no one could afford to waste any time on idle pleasantries. Walking from one person to another, his robes losing any pretence of whiteness, Duo barely exchanged a word with Heero, focusing on performing his duties instead. His violet eyes, however, spoke volumes when occasionally the general's managed to catch them. Duo was glad for the subtle comfort his presence offered.

The blue eyed man, though he had been a soldier for most of his life, had seen only so many injuries. The position of the great general called for his presence in the head quarters far more often than in the infirmary, leaving him with only the briefest and most basic knowledge of healing. When his healer stopped by yet another body, he barely managed to stop a dismayed groan from escaping.

Heero had difficulty telling if it was a boy or a girl – their clothes, their hair was burned almost to the skin. The poor thing could do little more than whimper in pain as Duo's bloodied hand carefully ran across its brow. Across from the healer knelt a woman, apparently the child's mother. She didn't cry, her eyes seemed empty. She had little hope left. Heero was ready to say something to comfort her, when to his utter astonishment, Duo spoke first.

"I am so sorry…" he said very softly. "I can do nothing to help her. Please, forgive me." With a final caress to the bloodied face, the young healer got up and quickly made his way to the next child, leaving the stupefied general with the stricken woman, cradling her dying daughter to her chest, heavy tears rolling down her face.

He moved not an inch for several long moments, staring after the slender figure as it waded in between the groups of people, his expression that of complete disbelief. He couldn't understand what had happen, what could have happened. How was that possible?

With great difficulty and understanding that now was not the time to demand explanations, he managed to snap himself from the trance and stumble towards a group of men looking to help with their enterprise while the healers did – or did not do – their job, he thought bitterly. Mechanically he grabbed an axe and went through the motions of chopping down the still-standing logs keeping the ruined barn together. It would have to be rebuilt from scratch, he realised.

Long after the sun rose, Heero finally got back into his luxurious bedroom and fell onto the soft mattress, sinking into the fresh linen. His mind would keep replaying the scene of Duo walking away from a suffering child. How could he do that? Him, a healer. Leave a child to die, a child who was whimpering in pain, no longer strong enough to even cry.

His mind heavy with turmoil, Heero slept.

xxxXXXxxx

Two days had passed in relative peace after the happenings in the village. Upon the news most of the healers had returned, easing the burden on the few that had been present during the fire, looking after the injured. Duo slowly collected the pieces of himself, trying to put his mind off the tragedies he had witnessed not two mornings before. Busying his hands with menial work, he sought solitude, trying to repair the hurt he knew he would be feeling for a long time to come.

The space the other healers granted him to recover however, was invaded curtly by the grim presence of the great general, uncharacteristically in a bout of cold fury as Duo had never before seen him.

"How could you do that!" Heero hissed, staring straight into the violet eyes. "It was just a little girl. How could you let her die?" Somehow, his voice managed to stay even and unemotional, even though his eyes were charged with fury.

"I couldn't have helped her," Duo replied softly, averting his gaze.

"You lie!" Heero said with a deliberate slowness. "I have seen injuries worse than hers being treated, I have seen the people live through it."

"I couldn't have helped her," the healer said again, tonelessly. The general kneeled in front of him and gripped his tunic.

"Look into my face and tell me her injuries were too extensive, too difficult for you to treat. Tell me that, and I will believe you," he implored, turning Duo's face towards his own.

A grave silence descended upon the two of them. Finally, Duo looked away. "No. Her injuries were severe, but not fatal," he answered, his tone wooden. Heero let the thick fabric of the healer's robe slide from his fingers as he sagged down, staring at the long-haired figure in disbelief.

"Why?" he croaked finally. "You let her die. Why?"

The violet-eyed man stood up and gazed down at the general sadly. "I'm sorry, Heero," he whispered, exercising his control to the extremes. He wanted to shed no tears in front of the general now. "It seems I am not the person you want after all." Turning with visible effort, Duo slowly walked back to the temple, never looking back.

**TBC.**


	22. To Love

Author: Keiran  
Title: A World in a Grain of Sand 21/21  
Pairings: 1+2+1.  
Rating: R overall, for no reason really.  
Genre: Romance, mild angst, historical sort of fantasy.  
Warnings: Shounen-ai.  
Archive: Gundam Wing Diaries, Cali0cat's Archive, my homepage. If you want it, drop me a line.

Notes: This is it, folks! Over two years and most of my career in the fandom concluded. Thank you everyone who supported, encouraged and patiently waited for this instalment. I'd like to thank Sundaire and Shenlong Deb in particular, for braving my abysmal punctuation, spelling and grammar. Much love to you, guys!

xxxXXXxxx

Heero sat by his bedroom's window, staring off onto the distant forest. His eyes were dull, lacking the spark that lend a vibrancy of colour to his irises. Thinking hurt. Breathing hurt. Everything seemed to hurt these days.

Especially living.

He rested his head against the window frame wishing desperately for the snow to fall, against better judgment. His gaze fell heavily on the hot August sun, annoyed with its enthusiasm. It just wasn't right for the world to go on as if nothing had happened. The sun should not have risen, he thought bitterly. Rain should fall. Something. Anything.

"Excuse me, milord?" he heard a timid voice speak from the doorway. Wearily, the general turned his head. The woman's face was familiar. Sally's mother.

"I said I do not wish to be disturbed," he replied turning back to the glass plane. "Leave me."

"I'm really sorry, milord. But master healer is here and he insisted on seeing you." The young woman wrung her hands nervously, clearly unhappy with the duty she was given. Heero commanded a quiet, yet intense sort of respect in his servants and that intensity was frightening, especially when the man concentrated.

"I'm tired," was the dismissive reply.

"Sir-"

"That would be enough, Po. Leave." Normally he would never allow himself to speak so harshly to a woman, yet he just could not bring himself to care. He ignored the sound of the door closing, resting his forehead against the warm glass. It was only the soft footsteps that brought him out of his contemplation. "I said-"

"You said some very stupid things, boy," the master healer said sternly, coming to rest on a settee with a soft grunt. He looked around the room casually, noting the dustiness. It was not particularly surprising, considering the frightened expressions of the servants when he demanded to speak with the general.

"Hardly," the man responded, not moving from his spot on the windowsill.

"Yes, you have. Now come down here, I refuse to converse by raising my voice." Reluctantly Heero obeyed. He was a soldier deep down and one thing the soldiers learned very early was never to anger or disrespect the person that might one day hold their life in their hands.

…Though really, what difference did it make now?

"Heero," the master healer began. "I think you have done a really stupid thing. And I think you are not being fair." The younger man started.

"Not fair?" he asked, disbelief colouring his voice.

"To Duo, yes." The elderly man noted the myriad of emotions playing across the general's features at the mention of the name. Not all of them pleased him.

"I have wronged him," he admitted curtly.

"That is very much true. You've been leading him on." Heero's head snapped up at the words. The master sat very still, judging his reaction.

"Leading him on? That is ridiculous, I have done no such thing!"

"Indeed you have. Heero. You come after him, all but professing your undying commitment and worship, acceptance and companionship, only to cast him aside when it stopped being convenient for you."

"I have done no such thing." The general's voice was toneless.

"Everyone always offers excuses. There are always good reasons to explain everything. Somehow though, I think your reasons are not good enough to justify what has happened."

"I just- How can I justify what happened?" Heero rested his forehead upon his folded hands. "I have not cast him aside. I just… I need time to think," he finished lamely. The old man perused him for a long while.

"I understand you are a soldier Heero, yes?" Taking the faint snort as an affirmative it was – albeit a rather impolite one – the healer continued. "And in all your time as a soldier, you have never let a person die?"

"That has nothing to do with it!" Heero, for the first time since the beginning of the conversation, exhibited the spark of passion that had driven him throughout the time the master had known the man. The sound of the general's heavy breathing was the only noise filling the room for a longer while.

"No. I suppose it doesn't. However, I must beg you to try and reconsider. Duo is not an angel sent from the heavens. He might look the part, occasionally, but he is not." The healer paused. "I think you realise what I'm trying to say here."

"That I am an idiot?"

"Yes, that too." The older man shook his head. "Someone had once, rather aptly, concluded that there are times when you have to sacrifice some, to save many. And he was not a soldier, Heero." The general stared back, trying to grasp the reason slipping from his fingers.

"Are you saying it is alright, what he did? That leaving that child to die, that **helping** her die was alright?"

"How many people have you killed? How many would never see, or walk, or hold anything because of you, great general?"

"I am a soldier, old man. It is my job to kill people!" In a strange way it was good to see the fire reignite in the man's voice. So much easier working with anger instead of indifference.

"Is it?" the dry tone in the healer's voice would have made a desert look like a lush paradise.

"Yes! It is a soldier's job to kill and a healer's to save lives."

"We do keep each other busy, don't we?" the master mused humourlessly. "Apparently you have put a lot of time into considering these matters. Have you perhaps considered what would have happened if Duo had saved that little girl?"

Heero opened his mouth to reply and found that he could find no words. What would have happened? He would have treated her, helped her, stayed by her-

But it is never that simple, is it?

"Duo is… unusual, you could say," the old man started quietly, sensing the turmoil in the other's mind. "I can tell you that the healers whose abilities could be compared to his are usually in their forties, if not older. Strange, you might think, since he has no unusual skills or any extraordinary talent. Granted, he is very intelligent, but his gift is no more special than any other's."

"What makes him an exceptional healer, is the fact that he understands that in order to win, you must make sacrifices. I have no idea how he could have managed to learn this so early; to tell you the truth, it is somewhat painful to see such an ancient gaze on one so young." Heero's hair covered his downcast face, his hands hung limply between his knees. The fire died down to embers. "We are only people, Heero," the man concluded gently, hoping to sustain the feeble flames. "And there's blood on our hands, just like there is blood on yours."

"There wasn't supposed to be," the younger man replied quietly. "He was-"

"… supposed to be an angel, is that it? Something pure, for you to treasure, to wash the blood away?" Heero did not reply. "It is not foolish, never think that. Merely too idealistic to be real." He paused. There was one question he intended to ask and it seemed like the time to do so had arrived. "Do you think he was wrong to have abandoned that girl?"

The general clenched his eyes shut, forcing the silence out of his mind. He did not want silence. Never silence. "No," he admitted weakly. "I would have done the same had I been in his place." The master healer sat very still, appraising the younger man. His expression betrayed nothing, yet Heero could clearly see the man was waiting for more. "I do not intend to leave, if that is what you wished to hear."

It was only then that the healer smiled. "I was not going to stop you. Neither of you deserves enforced company of someone they do not feel comfortable with." The elderly man stood up with a barely noticeable grunt. "Now that you finally realise that being a healer is not all about bandaging scraped knees and collecting herbs, something that few people ever care to think about, you might wish to consider this instead: however friendly and lovable Duo is, you aristocrats have drilled into the minds of common people that those of noble blood will never be equal to peasants. It is an instinct, almost. Aristocracy belongs up there, on a pedestal, away from us puny mortals."

"I do not claim to know what a nobleman's mind works like, but it seems to me that living a step above everyone else makes you both lonely and an excellent target."

Heero made no move to indicate he was listening. He sat as still as death, not looking up, barely breathing, in fact. He did not notice the elderly healer exit his chamber. His thoughts scattered into a million pieces, leaving him naught but what he knew he'd felt his entire life – loneliness and fear. Oh, he had not always been alone; he had friends, nobility much like himself, people who understood. Except – they had not understood everything, had they? None of them had ever been truly alone, not like he had been, drifting from place to place before he had assumed his duties as the great general, accompanied only by his most faithful men.

No one had known what that felt like, waking up every morning, surrounded by friendly faces and yet separated by an invisible glass wall. No one, save for Duo.

And he had tried to build a pedestal of his own for his healer. A bitter laugh escaped his throat, turning slightly hysterical as it went on. Luckily, no one was around to hear the great general crumble to pieces; all of the servants were waiting for a call, at a respectable distance.

xxxXXXxxx

Duo busied himself with salvaging everything he could from the dried gardens. The temple was empty again, the heat stroke driving most healers into wandering around the neighbouring villages, helping where they could. He had wanted to go, wanted to escape the suddenly suffocating building, but he knew that if he left now, he would never return. And he was not ready to leave for good. He did not think he would ever be, not again.

So he stayed. And that was driving him insane. He appreciated the other healers. He could sense, somehow, that they were giving him space, not merely avoiding him. He knew that if he reached out people would gladly comfort him, as much as they could.

The problem was, as usual, the reaching out part. He'd always had trouble with that.

With a heavy sigh he ran his palms across the wilting leaves of a small plant barely sticking out from the ground. Reaching out for the small rake, he loosened the dried ground and carefully extracted the herb, throwing it onto a small pile a few paces to his left. Making sure the rest of the ground remained untouched, he watered the remaining greenery and moved on. He was starting on the Milk Thistle rows when a brief touch on his shoulder startled him into awareness. Automatically curving his lips into a smile, he turned to greet the newcomer, yet somehow the sound remained within his throat once he realised just who had joined him.

Heero did not offer a smile. His gaze was sad more than anything else. He sought out the healer's hand amidst the dirt and thirsty plants and brought it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the hollowness of its palm. He did not resist when Duo tugged his hand free and returned to his chores. Nor did he resist when the very same hand offered a rake to him and indicated which plants should be removed. They worked together until the sun hid behind the forest, finally giving the earth respite from its merciless, burning rays.

By the time sunset rolled around the two of them were finishing tending to the last row of Milk Thistles. The afternoon had been mostly quiet; they exchanged few words, the majority of them coming down to 'could I have that rake, please?' Somehow, though, neither felt like there was anything that needed saying.

Strangely enough, there was not.

It was only when they'd finished in the garden that Duo became oddly hesitant and nervous. "Thank you, Heero," he said quietly, tugging on the man's sleeve. Heero smiled shyly in return.

"You are welcome," he replied, clasping the other's hand delicately. The sky was painted with an array of colours so bright and vibrant that everything seemed merely a dark silhouette against it. The twilight made seeing difficult, always trying to deceive the eye with dancing shadows and light that were not quite there anymore.

Although… neither man felt it was necessary, when their hands interlaced.

xxxXXXxxx

The sun was not yet up when Duo awoke. He stretched out his arms and stood up from the pallet, extracting himself from Heero's embrace. A tender expression appeared on his face as he tucked the sleep-warmed blanket around the general. Treading as softly as possible, he made his way to the window. Sunrise was his favourite time of the day and normally he would enjoy being enveloped in the peaceful breathlessness of the rise of a new day, something his cosy room did not allow. Duo looked down at his usual sunrise-watching spot on the terrace – it was empty.

It always was.

He kept his gaze trained on the smooth cobbles, not even noticing as he started shivering. Not from the cold, as Duo felt it was impossible to feel cold at the moment, not when he was still standing inside, with his whole body warmed by sleep and wrapped in an equally warmed shirt and pants. Besides, no matter how early the morning, this year was the very epitome of heat.

Before he had a chance to analyse the quite pleasant shivers, a pair of strong arms wrapped a blanket around their owner's and Duo's shoulders.

"Good morning," Heero whispered, nuzzling the healer's hair.

"Good morning," Duo replied, turning his head in the other's direction. Heero's breath was lost to him for several moments. He had dreamed of this, of seeing those violet eyes finally look into his, open and warm. Now that the moment was finally his, he knew no dream could ever compare.

Smiling softly, he pressed a chaste kiss to Duo's mouth before resting his forehead on the healer's shoulder. The latter smiled a little and looked back out of the window, at the sky. Heero, feeling the slight movement, raised his head and followed the other's gaze, to the rising sun.

**THE END.**


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